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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Live Reveal - Thursday 12th of June at 1700BST

    Parenting

    Hobbies and Pastimes
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    • BrianB
      Brian
      Joined:

      our lad is 6 now, and i still pinch myself each day as to where those 6 years have gone
      we were thrown into the parenting lark with no prior training or knowledge ( we were booked in for new parents training 5 weeks before he was due to pop out of mums tummy but he decided at 6 weeks to go he was ready) a month in the hospital then home still needing to be fed through a tube and only weighing 2kg was a bit tough to start

      lost count of the number of renditions of puff the magic dragon i have sung over the years to help him sleep

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
      • S
        Setanta
        Raw and Unwashed
        Joined:

        New Yorker.png

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
        • EdHE
          EdH
          Iron Heart Deity
          @Matt
          Joined:

          @Matt Thanks. I think Mrs H has read them all at this point. Until this week, for the last month or so, Baby H had been quite good at going down at 8pm and staying down. We're transitioning her daytime naps to her own room, which was going well. Hopefully once Baby H is over this adjustment and we've figured out what her new sleeping patterns are we can get back to it!

          Take the dive...

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • injunjackI
            injunjack
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            Heh.. I'm done parenting, Glad to be a grandad... ✌

            last edited by injunjack 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
            • NocturamaN
              Nocturama
              Haraki san Prodigy
              Joined:

              My daughter’s (20th) birthday card from last week seems pertinent at this stage…
              IMG_0065.jpeg

              #JustStopCrocs

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • Paul9221P
                Paul9221
                啓蒙家
                Joined:

                I'm trying to figure out if parenting falls into "Hobbies" or "Pastimes" 😆 Seriously though, good idea for a thread!

                I have one that took me too long to learn, that is possibly related to @Matt 's "I need a timeout" post. Make sure that your kids learn that you are not super-human. Make sure that they know that you also have bad days, and that you also go through tough times, and that that's okay. If or when they are blessed with their own kids later in life, and they're going through a hard time with them, they won't think that they're bad parents, they'll remember that they're human like you.

                I had a friend who struggled with depression in his twenties. When he finally spoke with his mother about it, she revealed that she had always struggled with depression but didn't want him to know. Had he known, he could have shared his struggles with her and felt much less alone in that battle.

                Blanket-line all the things!!!

                last edited by Paul9221 EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                • EdHE
                  EdH
                  Iron Heart Deity
                  @Paul9221
                  Joined:

                  @Paul9221 said in Parenting:

                  I'm trying to figure out if parenting falls into "Hobbies" or "Pastimes"

                  Depends on how much of a deadbeat dad or miscreant mom you are... 🙃

                  Take the dive...

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                  • EdHE
                    EdH
                    Iron Heart Deity
                    @Craneman
                    Joined:

                    @Craneman said in Parenting:

                    there's nothing like a faceful of baby piss

                    I learned early, aim baby sideways on from you when changing her... and in my case it wasn't piss.

                    Then she got me on the hand and sprayed it all up the wall. Second thing I learned - keep the soiled nappy in place to act as a barrier while you do the necessary butt wiping.

                    Take the dive...

                    last edited by EdH C 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • AdamCA
                      AdamC
                      IHUK Crew
                      Joined:

                      Great thread @EdH I am sure I will pick up some great tips and some much needed laughs from this thread! I had to take my girl to nursery for the first time on Friday, it was absolutely carnage, I could hear the nursery before I saw it, all of the babies were crying louder than ive ever heard, one of them seemed like they were staring at me to rescue them as I dropped mine off 😆 , who was conveniently joining in the hysterics, all while the key worker was casually trying to have a quiet conversation with me. I was like a deer in the headlights. Not sure what I expected and I have a huge respect for these nursery workers, listening to your own child cry is one thing but a room full of other peoples kids takes some serious mettle. She had a good day by all accounts thankfully, and now the mrs has 2 days of well earned chill time during the week before she goes back to work

                      last edited by AdamC MattM goosehdG 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
                      • mclaincauseyM
                        mclaincausey
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        There’s an instinct to cultivate a work ethic, but don’t position allowance transactionally as a reward for doing chores or being good, and instead characterize things like chores as just the things that the family does.

                        Be careful with praise, as too much can encourage attention-seeking / acting out behaviors. Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

                        Instead of correcting unwanted behaviors, ask about alternative, desirable behaviors; “wouldn’t you rather…?” Or “how about you try…?”

                        Think it, be it.

                        last edited by goosehdG Paul9221P 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                        • MattM
                          Matt
                          見習いボス
                          @AdamC
                          Joined:

                          @AdamC they drink 🍹

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                          • goosehdG
                            goosehd
                            Mod Squad
                            @AdamC
                            Joined:

                            @AdamC No lie about other kids crying. Used to piss me off to no end on a plane to hear a kid cry for hours on end. After having two of them and realizing that there is nothing that can be done, I’m just a little more tolerant.

                            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                            • goosehdG
                              goosehd
                              Mod Squad
                              @mclaincausey
                              Joined:

                              @mclaincausey so clean your room or I’m going to beat your ass isn’t appropriate? Just joking, although I have had that internal conversation with myself a few times…

                              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                              • MattM
                                Matt
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                Every day.

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • deancleanD
                                  deanclean
                                  Iron Heart Deity
                                  Joined:

                                  Great topic here. My kid just turned 19 months old yesterday. The only advice I can give is try not to wait until you are 46 to have a kid! 😀 my wife and I weren’t on the same page about having a kid and it took a few years until we were both ready to dive in. Im glad we waited because it takes both of us at 100% to make it work. It also takes my parents helping and my sister and her husband, and anyone else who wants to throw their hat in the ring!

                                  last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                  • goosehdG
                                    goosehd
                                    Mod Squad
                                    @deanclean
                                    Joined:

                                    @deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.

                                    But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.

                                    "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • Paul9221P
                                      Paul9221
                                      啓蒙家
                                      @mclaincausey
                                      Joined:

                                      @mclaincausey said in Parenting:

                                      Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

                                      I really like this point!

                                      If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.

                                      Blanket-line all the things!!!

                                      last edited by ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • ?
                                        A Former User
                                        @Paul9221
                                        Joined:

                                        @Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • mclaincauseyM
                                          mclaincausey
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase

                                          https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-2-letting-children-try-and-fail

                                          Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.

                                          Think it, be it.

                                          last edited by mclaincausey SKTS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • SKTS
                                            SKT
                                            見習いボス
                                            @mclaincausey
                                            Joined:

                                            @mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.

                                            https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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