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Parenting

Hobbies and Pastimes
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  • E
    EdH
    Iron Heart Deity
    @Paul9221
    Joined: 2 Jan 2022

    @Paul9221 said in Parenting:

    I'm trying to figure out if parenting falls into "Hobbies" or "Pastimes"

    Depends on how much of a deadbeat dad or miscreant mom you are... 🙃

    Take the dive...

    last edited by 23 May 2023, 15:45 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
    • E
      EdH
      Iron Heart Deity
      @Craneman
      Joined: 2 Jan 2022

      @Craneman said in Parenting:

      there's nothing like a faceful of baby piss

      I learned early, aim baby sideways on from you when changing her... and in my case it wasn't piss.

      Then she got me on the hand and sprayed it all up the wall. Second thing I learned - keep the soiled nappy in place to act as a barrier while you do the necessary butt wiping.

      Take the dive...

      last edited by EdH 23 May 2023, 15:48 C 1 Reply Last reply 27 May 2023, 05:32 Reply Quote 2
      • A
        AdamC
        IHUK Crew
        Joined: 12 Jan 2018

        Great thread @EdH I am sure I will pick up some great tips and some much needed laughs from this thread! I had to take my girl to nursery for the first time on Friday, it was absolutely carnage, I could hear the nursery before I saw it, all of the babies were crying louder than ive ever heard, one of them seemed like they were staring at me to rescue them as I dropped mine off 😆 , who was conveniently joining in the hysterics, all while the key worker was casually trying to have a quiet conversation with me. I was like a deer in the headlights. Not sure what I expected and I have a huge respect for these nursery workers, listening to your own child cry is one thing but a room full of other peoples kids takes some serious mettle. She had a good day by all accounts thankfully, and now the mrs has 2 days of well earned chill time during the week before she goes back to work

        last edited by AdamC 23 May 2023, 16:26 M G 2 Replies Last reply 23 May 2023, 18:02 Reply Quote 6
        • M
          mclaincausey
          見習いボス
          Joined: 12 Apr 2013

          There’s an instinct to cultivate a work ethic, but don’t position allowance transactionally as a reward for doing chores or being good, and instead characterize things like chores as just the things that the family does.

          Be careful with praise, as too much can encourage attention-seeking / acting out behaviors. Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

          Instead of correcting unwanted behaviors, ask about alternative, desirable behaviors; “wouldn’t you rather…?” Or “how about you try…?”

          Think it, be it.

          last edited by 23 May 2023, 16:46 G P 2 Replies Last reply 23 May 2023, 19:20 Reply Quote 3
          • M
            Matt
            見習いボス
            @AdamC
            Joined: 4 Oct 2011

            @AdamC they drink 🍹

            last edited by 23 May 2023, 18:02 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
            • G
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              @AdamC
              Joined: 8 Apr 2016

              @AdamC No lie about other kids crying. Used to piss me off to no end on a plane to hear a kid cry for hours on end. After having two of them and realizing that there is nothing that can be done, I’m just a little more tolerant.

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 23 May 2023, 19:19 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • G
                goosehd
                Mod Squad
                @mclaincausey
                Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                @mclaincausey so clean your room or I’m going to beat your ass isn’t appropriate? Just joking, although I have had that internal conversation with myself a few times…

                "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                last edited by 23 May 2023, 19:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • M
                  Matt
                  見習いボス
                  Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                  Every day.

                  last edited by 23 May 2023, 19:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • D
                    deanclean
                    Iron Heart Deity
                    Joined: 17 Jan 2014

                    Great topic here. My kid just turned 19 months old yesterday. The only advice I can give is try not to wait until you are 46 to have a kid! 😀 my wife and I weren’t on the same page about having a kid and it took a few years until we were both ready to dive in. Im glad we waited because it takes both of us at 100% to make it work. It also takes my parents helping and my sister and her husband, and anyone else who wants to throw their hat in the ring!

                    last edited by 23 May 2023, 20:37 G 1 Reply Last reply 23 May 2023, 22:48 Reply Quote 2
                    • G
                      goosehd
                      Mod Squad
                      @deanclean
                      Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                      @deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.

                      But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.

                      "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                      last edited by 23 May 2023, 22:48 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • P
                        Paul9221
                        啓蒙家
                        @mclaincausey
                        Joined: 19 Apr 2011

                        @mclaincausey said in Parenting:

                        Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

                        I really like this point!

                        If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.

                        Blanket-line all the things!!!

                        last edited by 24 May 2023, 04:33 ? 1 Reply Last reply 24 May 2023, 04:52 Reply Quote 1
                        • ?
                          A Former User
                          @Paul9221
                          Joined:

                          @Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.

                          last edited by 24 May 2023, 04:52 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • M
                            mclaincausey
                            見習いボス
                            Joined: 12 Apr 2013

                            I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase

                            https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-2-letting-children-try-and-fail

                            Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.

                            Think it, be it.

                            last edited by mclaincausey 24 May 2023, 22:36 S 1 Reply Last reply 24 May 2023, 22:56 Reply Quote 1
                            • S
                              SKT
                              見習いボス
                              @mclaincausey
                              Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                              @mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.

                              https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

                              last edited by 24 May 2023, 22:56 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • S
                                SKT
                                見習いボス
                                Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                                And is this the place I come to find out what to do when the kids get their own Spotify account and fill playlists with awful Minecraft inspired techno pop? Like as a dad do I have to endure this? Also imagine dragons and AJR. Nope

                                last edited by 24 May 2023, 23:00 E 1 Reply Last reply 3 Jun 2023, 07:53 Reply Quote 1
                                • M
                                  Matt
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                  If Imagine Dragons were lost at sea I’d sleep better

                                  last edited by 24 May 2023, 23:05 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                  • S
                                    SKT
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                                    That’s the truth

                                    last edited by 24 May 2023, 23:12 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • G
                                      GraemeE
                                      Joined: 18 Sept 2022

                                      Is it just me or does this crowd tend to skew more girl-dad?
                                      3 under the age of ten here......

                                      last edited by 25 May 2023, 00:13 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • M
                                        Matt
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                        Could be part of the apocalypse. Global warming, neo-Fascism, girls.

                                        last edited by 25 May 2023, 00:21 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                        • G
                                          GraemeE
                                          Joined: 18 Sept 2022

                                          I figured it was because we had the common thread of being gluttons for financial punishment

                                          last edited by 25 May 2023, 00:22 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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