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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    Parenting

    Hobbies and Pastimes
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    • mclaincauseyM
      mclaincausey
      見習いボス
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      There’s an instinct to cultivate a work ethic, but don’t position allowance transactionally as a reward for doing chores or being good, and instead characterize things like chores as just the things that the family does.

      Be careful with praise, as too much can encourage attention-seeking / acting out behaviors. Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

      Instead of correcting unwanted behaviors, ask about alternative, desirable behaviors; “wouldn’t you rather…?” Or “how about you try…?”

      Think it, be it.

      last edited by goosehdG Paul9221P 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
      • MattM
        Matt
        見習いボス
        @AdamC
        Joined:

        @AdamC they drink 🍹

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
        • goosehdG
          goosehd
          Mod Squad
          @AdamC
          Joined:

          @AdamC No lie about other kids crying. Used to piss me off to no end on a plane to hear a kid cry for hours on end. After having two of them and realizing that there is nothing that can be done, I’m just a little more tolerant.

          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • goosehdG
            goosehd
            Mod Squad
            @mclaincausey
            Joined:

            @mclaincausey so clean your room or I’m going to beat your ass isn’t appropriate? Just joking, although I have had that internal conversation with myself a few times…

            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
            • MattM
              Matt
              見習いボス
              Joined:

              Every day.

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • deancleanD
                deanclean
                Iron Heart Deity
                Joined:

                Great topic here. My kid just turned 19 months old yesterday. The only advice I can give is try not to wait until you are 46 to have a kid! 😀 my wife and I weren’t on the same page about having a kid and it took a few years until we were both ready to dive in. Im glad we waited because it takes both of us at 100% to make it work. It also takes my parents helping and my sister and her husband, and anyone else who wants to throw their hat in the ring!

                last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • goosehdG
                  goosehd
                  Mod Squad
                  @deanclean
                  Joined:

                  @deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.

                  But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.

                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • Paul9221P
                    Paul9221
                    啓蒙家
                    @mclaincausey
                    Joined:

                    @mclaincausey said in Parenting:

                    Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

                    I really like this point!

                    If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.

                    Blanket-line all the things!!!

                    last edited by ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • ?
                      A Former User
                      @Paul9221
                      Joined:

                      @Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • mclaincauseyM
                        mclaincausey
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase

                        https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-2-letting-children-try-and-fail

                        Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.

                        Think it, be it.

                        last edited by mclaincausey SKTS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • SKTS
                          SKT
                          見習いボス
                          @mclaincausey
                          Joined:

                          @mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.

                          https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • SKTS
                            SKT
                            見習いボス
                            Joined:

                            And is this the place I come to find out what to do when the kids get their own Spotify account and fill playlists with awful Minecraft inspired techno pop? Like as a dad do I have to endure this? Also imagine dragons and AJR. Nope

                            last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • MattM
                              Matt
                              見習いボス
                              Joined:

                              If Imagine Dragons were lost at sea I’d sleep better

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                              • SKTS
                                SKT
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                                That’s the truth

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • GraemeEG
                                  GraemeE
                                  Joined:

                                  Is it just me or does this crowd tend to skew more girl-dad?
                                  3 under the age of ten here......

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • MattM
                                    Matt
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                                    Could be part of the apocalypse. Global warming, neo-Fascism, girls.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • GraemeEG
                                      GraemeE
                                      Joined:

                                      I figured it was because we had the common thread of being gluttons for financial punishment

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • mclaincauseyM
                                        mclaincausey
                                        見習いボス
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                                        That’s interesting. Gotta say, I absolutely love being a girl daddy. I’m sure I’ll be much more patient with her than I would a little mini-me 😂

                                        Think it, be it.

                                        last edited by GraemeEG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • GraemeEG
                                          GraemeE
                                          @mclaincausey
                                          Joined:

                                          @mclaincausey same.
                                          I would much prefer not to have a mini me.

                                          I think the term at the time for me as a wee one was a combination of "active" and "busy"

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • C
                                            Craneman
                                            Raw and Unwashed
                                            @EdH
                                            Joined:

                                            @EdH they're crafty little buggers

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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