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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    Parenting

    Hobbies and Pastimes
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    • AdamCA
      AdamC
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      Great thread @EdH I am sure I will pick up some great tips and some much needed laughs from this thread! I had to take my girl to nursery for the first time on Friday, it was absolutely carnage, I could hear the nursery before I saw it, all of the babies were crying louder than ive ever heard, one of them seemed like they were staring at me to rescue them as I dropped mine off 😆 , who was conveniently joining in the hysterics, all while the key worker was casually trying to have a quiet conversation with me. I was like a deer in the headlights. Not sure what I expected and I have a huge respect for these nursery workers, listening to your own child cry is one thing but a room full of other peoples kids takes some serious mettle. She had a good day by all accounts thankfully, and now the mrs has 2 days of well earned chill time during the week before she goes back to work

      last edited by AdamC MattM goosehdG 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 6
      • mclaincauseyM
        mclaincausey
        見習いボス
        Joined:

        There’s an instinct to cultivate a work ethic, but don’t position allowance transactionally as a reward for doing chores or being good, and instead characterize things like chores as just the things that the family does.

        Be careful with praise, as too much can encourage attention-seeking / acting out behaviors. Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

        Instead of correcting unwanted behaviors, ask about alternative, desirable behaviors; “wouldn’t you rather…?” Or “how about you try…?”

        Think it, be it.

        last edited by goosehdG Paul9221P 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
        • MattM
          Matt
          見習いボス
          @AdamC
          Joined:

          @AdamC they drink 🍹

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
          • goosehdG
            goosehd
            Mod Squad
            @AdamC
            Joined:

            @AdamC No lie about other kids crying. Used to piss me off to no end on a plane to hear a kid cry for hours on end. After having two of them and realizing that there is nothing that can be done, I’m just a little more tolerant.

            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
            • goosehdG
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              @mclaincausey
              Joined:

              @mclaincausey so clean your room or I’m going to beat your ass isn’t appropriate? Just joking, although I have had that internal conversation with myself a few times…

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
              • MattM
                Matt
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                Every day.

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • deancleanD
                  deanclean
                  Iron Heart Deity
                  Joined:

                  Great topic here. My kid just turned 19 months old yesterday. The only advice I can give is try not to wait until you are 46 to have a kid! 😀 my wife and I weren’t on the same page about having a kid and it took a few years until we were both ready to dive in. Im glad we waited because it takes both of us at 100% to make it work. It also takes my parents helping and my sister and her husband, and anyone else who wants to throw their hat in the ring!

                  last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • goosehdG
                    goosehd
                    Mod Squad
                    @deanclean
                    Joined:

                    @deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.

                    But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.

                    "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • Paul9221P
                      Paul9221
                      啓蒙家
                      @mclaincausey
                      Joined:

                      @mclaincausey said in Parenting:

                      Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

                      I really like this point!

                      If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.

                      Blanket-line all the things!!!

                      last edited by ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • ?
                        A Former User
                        @Paul9221
                        Joined:

                        @Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • mclaincauseyM
                          mclaincausey
                          見習いボス
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                          I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase

                          https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-2-letting-children-try-and-fail

                          Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.

                          Think it, be it.

                          last edited by mclaincausey SKTS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • SKTS
                            SKT
                            見習いボス
                            @mclaincausey
                            Joined:

                            @mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.

                            https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • SKTS
                              SKT
                              見習いボス
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                              And is this the place I come to find out what to do when the kids get their own Spotify account and fill playlists with awful Minecraft inspired techno pop? Like as a dad do I have to endure this? Also imagine dragons and AJR. Nope

                              last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • MattM
                                Matt
                                見習いボス
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                                If Imagine Dragons were lost at sea I’d sleep better

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                • SKTS
                                  SKT
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  That’s the truth

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • GraemeEG
                                    GraemeE
                                    Joined:

                                    Is it just me or does this crowd tend to skew more girl-dad?
                                    3 under the age of ten here......

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • MattM
                                      Matt
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      Could be part of the apocalypse. Global warming, neo-Fascism, girls.

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                      • GraemeEG
                                        GraemeE
                                        Joined:

                                        I figured it was because we had the common thread of being gluttons for financial punishment

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • mclaincauseyM
                                          mclaincausey
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                                          That’s interesting. Gotta say, I absolutely love being a girl daddy. I’m sure I’ll be much more patient with her than I would a little mini-me 😂

                                          Think it, be it.

                                          last edited by GraemeEG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • GraemeEG
                                            GraemeE
                                            @mclaincausey
                                            Joined:

                                            @mclaincausey same.
                                            I would much prefer not to have a mini me.

                                            I think the term at the time for me as a wee one was a combination of "active" and "busy"

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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