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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    Parenting

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    • goosehdG
      goosehd
      Mod Squad
      @deanclean
      Joined:

      @deanclean Being an older parent is great and I always tell people that at 20 I didn’t have the patience, 30 I didn’t have the time, and 40 I didn’t have the energy.

      But to tell you the truth, I’ve had my fun, made mistakes and learned from them, and now am able to enjoy kids and life in ways I never could have when I was younger.

      "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
      • Paul9221P
        Paul9221
        啓蒙家
        @mclaincausey
        Joined:

        @mclaincausey said in Parenting:

        Also be specific with praise, how you like how they did something, versus “good boy/good girl”

        I really like this point!

        If you say "good boy/girl" when they do something right, they might think that they're a bad person when they don't do something well. Praising the behavior instead of the person disassociates praise from their worth as a person, which hopefully keeps them from becoming people pleasers.

        Blanket-line all the things!!!

        last edited by ? 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • ?
          A Former User
          @Paul9221
          Joined:

          @Paul9221 also, what i’ll do is when they do something that was better not doing i’ll ask why they did it. Cause maybe in there eyes it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You give them a chance to explain. Also i can explain my point of view. Also the question: did you understand that? Is a good one. Cause when they’ll do it again you can recall on the agreement you had made before.

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • mclaincauseyM
            mclaincausey
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            I would encourage all parents to give this one a listen: https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-1-your-child-isnt-a-vip-or-a-fragile-vase

            https://www.pushkin.fm/podcasts/the-happiness-lab-with-dr-laurie-santos/happier-parents-happier-kids-pt-2-letting-children-try-and-fail

            Really takes down a lot of the helicopter and lawnmower parenting styles that have emerged over the past several decades.

            Think it, be it.

            last edited by mclaincausey SKTS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • SKTS
              SKT
              見習いボス
              @mclaincausey
              Joined:

              @mclaincausey We love her podcast and I will for sure check those out. A book we like was “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey. Totally along those same lines I’m guessing.

              https://www.jessicalahey.com/the-gift-of-failure-2

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • SKTS
                SKT
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                And is this the place I come to find out what to do when the kids get their own Spotify account and fill playlists with awful Minecraft inspired techno pop? Like as a dad do I have to endure this? Also imagine dragons and AJR. Nope

                last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • MattM
                  Matt
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  If Imagine Dragons were lost at sea I’d sleep better

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                  • SKTS
                    SKT
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    That’s the truth

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • GraemeEG
                      GraemeE
                      Joined:

                      Is it just me or does this crowd tend to skew more girl-dad?
                      3 under the age of ten here......

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • MattM
                        Matt
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        Could be part of the apocalypse. Global warming, neo-Fascism, girls.

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • GraemeEG
                          GraemeE
                          Joined:

                          I figured it was because we had the common thread of being gluttons for financial punishment

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • mclaincauseyM
                            mclaincausey
                            見習いボス
                            Joined:

                            That’s interesting. Gotta say, I absolutely love being a girl daddy. I’m sure I’ll be much more patient with her than I would a little mini-me 😂

                            Think it, be it.

                            last edited by GraemeEG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • GraemeEG
                              GraemeE
                              @mclaincausey
                              Joined:

                              @mclaincausey same.
                              I would much prefer not to have a mini me.

                              I think the term at the time for me as a wee one was a combination of "active" and "busy"

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • C
                                Craneman
                                Raw and Unwashed
                                @EdH
                                Joined:

                                @EdH they're crafty little buggers

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • BrianB
                                  Brian
                                  Joined:

                                  I’ve figured out boy or girl they all cost a fortune
                                  Ours is only in what I call primary school, depending on the time they turn 5 here depends on whether or not they have to sit it out in childcare for another 6 months or can actually go to school unless you go to a private school when the do a mid year let’s make money intake
                                  Jacob was in that group and way way past childcare kindergarten so we enrolled him
                                  One of the best things we did even if it has stretched our expenses somewhat

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • deancleanD
                                    deanclean
                                    Iron Heart Deity
                                    Joined:

                                    Sorry @goosehd i missed your reply to me. I’m still getting used to notifications with the new forum. I agree with you whole heartedly. There are definite advantages of being older. I was too busy thinking about where my next beer and party were going to be in my 20’s and 30’s.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • chrisjohnnickC
                                      chrisjohnnick
                                      Iron Heart Deity
                                      Joined:

                                      boy dad here. have a 2.5 year old and one that is just shy of 7. both very active, busy, wild, spontaneous, adventurous, etc.

                                      I'm just tired. always tired.

                                      Wants List:
                                      IHSH-20-Red, XL
                                      IHSH-208-Indigo Kersey, L-XL
                                      IHSH-254-Grey Kersey, L-XL
                                      IHSW-45 Black, M
                                      IH-526SV 21oz type III, 38 or 40
                                      IH-777S-SB size 32
                                      IH-777S-142 size 31 or 32

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • ChokoC
                                        Choko
                                        Iron Heart Deity
                                        Joined:

                                        @EdH and all other new dads. My mom told me to do this and it really works. When your child hits 4 months old, put them in their crib. The day they turn 4 months. It’s gonna be hard as fuck for the wife because your kid is gonna scream bloody murder. Wait 5 minutes, go in and reassure them that you’re there. DON’T pick them up. Just reach over the crib. Walk out. Come back in 10 minutes. Do the same thing. Then wait 15 more minutes and so on. Until they’re asleep. I’ve told all new parents this and it will teach them that when you put them in their crib, it’s time to sleep. And they won’t be crawling into bed with you when they’re 2-3 years old like a lot of kids do. Cause they won’t shake sleeping with you until they’re 6 or 7. I let my son sleep with us sometimes but only when he’s sick. Hope this helps
                                        Choko

                                        Less is more

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                        • ChokoC
                                          Choko
                                          Iron Heart Deity
                                          Joined:

                                          Oh and it’s 4 months because that’s when kids start forming habits

                                          Less is more

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • MattM
                                            Matt
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            That’s pretty much it. That, I believe, is the same as a what they say in the book. I still recommend the book, maybe the library has it? The benefit of the book is that it has a lot of additional info on how to address pacifiers, bed toys and even relapses. You’ll get to those right when you’re feeling good about yourself.

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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