Random Rants
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That's fucking awful. As others have said, things will be ok. Take care of yourself, be nice to yourself, make sure to breathe.
Day by day, man. Day by day.
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Sorry to hear all that, my man. Just do one day at a time.
Every situation is different, and I haven't experienced those same things, but I have been working through depression for the last several years. Every time I feel it coming on I just follow these 3 rules: Drinks lots of water, get plenty of sleep, and avoid social media for a few days at a time.
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Oh man @scarfmace what a terrible start to the year. Better times wait you in your 36th year. Happy birthday!
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thank you all for the kind words!
I'll be fine. I was in a dark place for a while but I'm recovering. I've written down a lot and was able to lean hard on friends. The thing is that nothing really happened. We had everything we can hope for, a beautiful house, 2 healthy boys and enough money in the bank to go on holiday every year. She has everything to be happy but she doesn't feel happy. So she wants to take a step back to reflect, and find out what is missing in her life. I can't help her and the divorce is absolutely necessary in her mind to be able to make a clean break.
We want to stay in close touch and centre around the kids.
I didn't see it coming and never even thought about this as a possibility, it hit me hard and I felt like a loser for a while. It feels like I'm grieving but the person is still actually there.
Anyway, looking back on the first week, I know that I'm a lot stronger now, and eventually, this will get its place in history and I'll move on from it. I'm strong enough to endure and stay focused on the positive. One day at a time. Yesterday was my birthday and I hit a low again, but today is a new day and still here
I know the forum is maybe not the best place to vent, seeing as most of you are complete strangers but for some reason it felt like something I had to get off my chest.
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Great post. Glad you're keeping it together.
Keep venting here. No probs.
Agreed with all that.
@scarfmace from what you write you are dealing with this exactly as you should. The most important thing is to experience and acknowledge all the emotions. Psychologically one of the worst experiences is thinking negative thoughts about someone you love, while not grieving loss is also extremely damaging. It sounds like you're doing the latter and will be able to reconcile the former.
Keep up the good work mate. Lots of folks here have been through the same thing, myself included.
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I'm sorry for your troubles @scarfmace . One foot in front of the other is all you can do.
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Keep on keepin' on @scarfmace . it takes a lot of courage to share, and you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for - we're all rooting for you!
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I'm so glad to hear you're doing a little better — and vent away, as we've all been through stuff of our own and are here to listen
And as Neph said, give yourself room to feel all of the stuff. I know that's something I've dealt with, and giving myself the permission was a huge step forward in starting to heal from things that were holding me back.
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The only thing that's gonna help is sharing your life with others, @scarfmace. Together we can celebrate and magnify the good things and together we can divvy up the burden of tougher times. I'm sorry that this is how your 2022 is shaking out.
I wish you the best and hope that you continue to reach out for support both here and in the community around you. People want to help. They just need to be asked to give it.
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. Listening to the IH podcast S2e3 and finding the 'Vir Vunerabilis Vir' podcast realy helps me put things in perspective.
On the homefront:
We just told our kids we are going to separate and they said they 'liked the idea'. (they are 3 and 5, I'm sure the real questions will come much later)Another thing that seems to work out is me buying off the house and mortgage on my own.
In about 10 days my ex (it feels so weird to call her that) is moving out and in a way, I feel that it will help me consolidate and heal.
Still going one step at a time but looking back, I can see the road I've been on emotionaly, and in a way that gives me the strength to push on, knowing that time will heal all wounds.
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These make me cringe. Do these bring out the Trypophobia in anyone else?
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Lol I agree — the super neppy stuff is just way too much for me. I like my shit looking vintage for the most part, the occasional slubbiness. That's about as far as I wanna go.
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Look like snow jeans….
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement. Listening to the IH podcast S2e3 and finding the 'Vir Vunerabilis Vir' podcast realy helps me put things in perspective.
On the homefront:
We just told our kids we are going to separate and they said they 'liked the idea'. (they are 3 and 5, I'm sure the real questions will come much later)Another thing that seems to work out is me buying off the house and mortgage on my own.
In about 10 days my ex (it feels so weird to call her that) is moving out and in a way, I feel that it will help me consolidate and heal.
Still going one step at a time but looking back, I can see the road I've been on emotionaly, and in a way that gives me the strength to push on, knowing that time will heal all wounds.
You know, there’s a support group meeting coming up in September I think.
