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Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

That's Jokes

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  • M
    mclaincausey
    見習いボス
    Joined: 12 Apr 2013

    Well then allow me to ruin it: the sequel will be "Nonederballs"

    Think it, be it.

    last edited by 5 May 2022, 14:27 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • P
      popvulture
      見習いボス
      Joined: 2 Oct 2018

      Ok, so I have a filthy one (but not egregiously so). I was at Eeyore's Birthday this past weekend (an Austin dirtbag hippie mainstay — if you know, you know) and this appropriately dirtbag hippie street poet guy came up to us and offered a joke:

      What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

      I don't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

      …I'll show myself out 😶

      WTB
      IHSH-IHG-BLK XXL
      Sugar Cane Coke Stripe SS L charcoal

      last edited by 5 May 2022, 14:47 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • G
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined: 22 Sept 2009

        @mclaincausey:

        Well then allow me to ruin it: the sequel will be "Nonederballs"

        👏

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 5 May 2022, 16:02 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • J
          Jett129
          見習いボス
          Joined: 17 Aug 2011

          I love it,can’t wait to tell it to my wife.

          last edited by 5 May 2022, 18:10 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • M
            mclaincausey
            見習いボス
            Joined: 12 Apr 2013

            LOL @popvulture that is the wookiest joke I've heard all day 😃

            Think it, be it.

            last edited by 5 May 2022, 18:16 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • P
              popvulture
              見習いボス
              Joined: 2 Oct 2018

              Hahahaha — I mean, the odds of him being dressed like a wookie while telling me that joke were quite high. I'm surprised he wasn't, to be honest.

              WTB
              IHSH-IHG-BLK XXL
              Sugar Cane Coke Stripe SS L charcoal

              last edited by 5 May 2022, 18:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • M
                mclaincausey
                見習いボス
                Joined: 12 Apr 2013

                By "wook," I mean a colloquial term for a dirty hippie (which originates from their often Chewbacca-esque appearance).

                Think it, be it.

                last edited by 5 May 2022, 18:40 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • P
                  popvulture
                  見習いボス
                  Joined: 2 Oct 2018

                  Hahaha I'm using that — I thought you'd tied it into May the Fourth (but alas that was yesterday)

                  WTB
                  IHSH-IHG-BLK XXL
                  Sugar Cane Coke Stripe SS L charcoal

                  last edited by 5 May 2022, 18:47 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • E
                    endo
                    見習いボス
                    Joined: 29 May 2020

                    (WIFI = Wurst Iz Fery Importänt)

                    … ready for the weekend?

                    si tacuisses

                    last edited by 5 Jun 2022, 06:00 6 May 2022, 05:13 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • P
                      popvulture
                      見習いボス
                      Joined: 2 Oct 2018

                      We're gonna be down to just one or two bars by the time I'm done with those.

                      WTB
                      IHSH-IHG-BLK XXL
                      Sugar Cane Coke Stripe SS L charcoal

                      last edited by 6 May 2022, 14:30 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • G
                        Giles
                        IHUK Crew
                        Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                        Does anyone know how to get to Penrith?

                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                        last edited by 11 May 2022, 12:02 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • S
                          steelworker
                          見習いボス
                          Joined: 16 Apr 2014

                          I'm reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen.. I can feel it.

                          Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                          Well, I have others.

                          last edited by 11 May 2022, 12:07 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • K
                            Kasi
                            見習いボス
                            Joined: 9 Oct 2014

                            Giles let me know where you are there lol [emoji23]

                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                            The world's insane
                            While you drink champagne
                            And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                            last edited by 11 May 2022, 12:13 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • G
                              goosehd
                              Mod Squad
                              Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                              Ventriloquist
                              He's a ventriloquist walking around the countryside.
                              A storm is coming, driving rain is falling on him. He sees a farm. The peasant welcomes him and even offers him a snack. Once the good weather returns, the ventriloquist tells himself that to thank his host, he will use his artistic skills.

                              He goes to a hen and makes her talk:

                              "How is your life on the farm"?

                              "Well, he steals my eggs in the morning but that's fine"

                              Then the turn of the cow.

                              "How is your life on the farm?"

                              "I'm also fine despite the fact that he touches my udders every morning and steals my milk."

                              As he walks towards a goat, the feverish peasant exclaims:

                              "Don't listen to her, she's a liar"

                              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                              last edited by 12 May 2022, 01:13 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • G
                                Giles
                                IHUK Crew
                                Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                last edited by 17 May 2022, 21:18 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • G
                                  goosehd
                                  Mod Squad
                                  Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                                  That's f'n funny!!!  😃

                                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                  last edited by 17 May 2022, 21:27 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • E
                                    endo
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined: 29 May 2020

                                    👍🏻 such a prick

                                    si tacuisses

                                    last edited by 18 May 2022, 09:35 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • EdHE
                                      EdH
                                      Iron Heart Deity
                                      Joined: 2 Jan 2022

                                      A Scotsman, and Englishman, and an Irishman are comparing their local pubs.

                                      "At McTavish's place, The Full Haggis in Aberdeen, McTavish will buy your fifth pint every time you buy four. It's the best deal going!"

                                      "No" says the Englishman. "The Red Lion in London is the best pub around. So much history, it's an icon, and every 3rd pint is on the house for us regulars!"

                                      "Ah dat's nothin" says the Irishman "at my local, in Kilkenny, they'll buy you one drink, then another, all the drinks you can manage really. Then when you're done drinking they'll take you upstairs and make sure that you get laid all night long!"

                                      "Bullshit" say the other two. "Did this actually happen to you?"

                                      "Well, not to me, no" the Irishman admits, "but it's happened to me sister a bunch o' times!"

                                      Take the dive...

                                      last edited by 30 May 2022, 16:59 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • J
                                        Jett129
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                                        As I was reading,I was wondering where’s he going with this? Good one.

                                        last edited by 30 May 2022, 17:11 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • G
                                          Giles
                                          IHUK Crew
                                          Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                                          Brilliant…..

                                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                          last edited by 30 May 2022, 19:11 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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