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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • MattM
      Matt
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      And I thought, as any red blooded atheist rightly would, that the punchline was going to involve an inappropriate relationship between the priest and the 5 yr old. I’m really glad I was wrong.

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • scarfmaceS
        scarfmace
        Haraki san Expert
        Joined:

        Ah gotcha! I misread the backpack part.

        "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • endoE
          endo
          見習いボス
          @Jett129
          Joined:

          @Jett129 said in That's Jokes:

          The original joke was a Rabbi,a Hippie and Henry Kissinger

          There are versions around here with the Pope and Berlusconi, or Trump. Obviously that joke's been around for some time if it dates back to Kissinger.

          si tacuisses

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • endoE
            endo
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            Bildschirmfoto 2024-05-12 um 22.30.57.png

            si tacuisses

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 8
            • steelworkerS
              steelworker
              見習いボス
              Joined:

              IMG_1644.jpeg

              Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
              Well, I have others.

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
              • EdHE
                EdH
                Iron Heart Deity
                Joined:

                3 guys - a redhead, a blonde and a guy with black hair, are working construction in NYC, sitting on a girder high above the city streets, having their lunch.
                The redhead opens his lunch, sighs heavily, and says "If my wife makes me another goddamn Reuben sandwich, I'm going to jump I swear to God."
                The blonde opens his, also sighs, and says "Goddamn bologna again! If I have to eat one more of these, I'll jump with you!"
                The black haired guy opens up his sandwich, sees what it is, and says "Another fucking tuna melt from my wife, and I'll jump too!"
                The next day, sure enough, the redhead has got a Reuben, so he leaps from the girder. The blonde sees that his is bologna, so he takes a leap too. And the guy with black hair takes the plunge after seeing that he has another tuna melt.
                The construction company agrees to pay for the funerals of its workers, but does them all at once to save some cash.
                Standing by as the coffins are being lowered into the ground, the readhead's wife breaks down and yells "If only I had been more inspired in my cooking, maybe he wouldn't have jumped!"
                The wife of the black haired guy wails "I should have introduced some variety! It's my fault he's dead!"
                They both then turn to the wife of the blonde, who looks back at them and says "What are you looking at me for? He packed his own lunches!"

                Take the dive...

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                • GilesG
                  Giles
                  IHUK Crew
                  Joined:

                  Kerboom....

                  "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                  last edited by MattM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • endoE
                    endo
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    IMG_2919.jpeg

                    si tacuisses

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                    • MattM
                      Matt
                      見習いボス
                      @Giles
                      Joined:

                      @Giles

                      IMG_1806.jpeg

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                      • GilesG
                        Giles
                        IHUK Crew
                        Joined:

                        Brilliant....

                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • endoE
                          endo
                          見習いボス
                          Joined:

                          My local barber was arrested yesterday for selling drugs. I've been his customer for years. Didn't even know he was a barber!

                          si tacuisses

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 10
                          • GilesG
                            Giles
                            IHUK Crew
                            Joined:

                            Hahahahahahaha

                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • steelworkerS
                              steelworker
                              見習いボス
                              Joined:

                              Screenshot 2024-06-23 at 7.35.33 PM.jpeg
                              Hope I didnt see this here...

                              Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                              Well, I have others.

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                              • J
                                Jett129
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                It’s like… I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse. Or I helped,my Uncle Jack,off a horse. I think.

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                • BrianB
                                  Brian
                                  Joined:

                                  IMG_4774.jpeg

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • GilesG
                                    Giles
                                    IHUK Crew
                                    Joined:

                                    An old boy saw us coming in earlier. He came to have a look at SAKURA. I admitted that my French is crap, he said I was a true Englishman….

                                    Translated from French (by Paula):

                                    “A person who can speak 3 languages is tri-lingual, a person who can speak 2 is bi-lingual, a person who speaks just 1 language is English”

                                    "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                    • MattM
                                      Matt
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      Why should English speakers learn new languages? Everyone else learns ours. 😬

                                      last edited by steelworkerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                      • J
                                        Jett129
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        This is old,but maybe some of you haven’t seen it.

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                        • steelworkerS
                                          steelworker
                                          見習いボス
                                          @Matt
                                          Joined:

                                          @Matt like metric vs imperial. It makes sense and its easy to understand. Wtf would we need that?

                                          Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                                          Well, I have others.

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • J
                                            Jett129
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            Saw this on Reddit and immediately thought of @Giles Had to screenshot it. Disregard the Headline.
                                            IMG_2365.png

                                            last edited by Jett129 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
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