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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • scarfmaceS
      scarfmace
      Haraki san Expert
      Joined:

      I don't get it?

      "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

      last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • J
        Jett129
        見習いボス
        @scarfmace
        Joined:

        @scarfmace The original joke was a Rabbi,a Hippie and Henry Kissinger were on a plane,when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash,they’re short one parachute,grabs a parachute and jumps. Henry KIssinger says I’m important to national security, I’m the smartest man in the world,I have to survive,grabs a parachute and jumps. The Rabbi turns to the hippie and says I’m an old man I’ve lived a full life you take the last parachute. To which the Hippie says No way, we can both go. The astonished Rabbi asks What do you mean? And the hippie replies…Well the smartest man in the world just took my backpack. I thought this was where Matt was going with his daughter’s story when they were in the car.

        last edited by endoE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • MattM
          Matt
          見習いボス
          Joined:

          And I thought, as any red blooded atheist rightly would, that the punchline was going to involve an inappropriate relationship between the priest and the 5 yr old. I’m really glad I was wrong.

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • scarfmaceS
            scarfmace
            Haraki san Expert
            Joined:

            Ah gotcha! I misread the backpack part.

            "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • endoE
              endo
              見習いボス
              @Jett129
              Joined:

              @Jett129 said in That's Jokes:

              The original joke was a Rabbi,a Hippie and Henry Kissinger

              There are versions around here with the Pope and Berlusconi, or Trump. Obviously that joke's been around for some time if it dates back to Kissinger.

              si tacuisses

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • endoE
                endo
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                Bildschirmfoto 2024-05-12 um 22.30.57.png

                si tacuisses

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 8
                • steelworkerS
                  steelworker
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  IMG_1644.jpeg

                  Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                  Well, I have others.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
                  • EdHE
                    EdH
                    Iron Heart Deity
                    Joined:

                    3 guys - a redhead, a blonde and a guy with black hair, are working construction in NYC, sitting on a girder high above the city streets, having their lunch.
                    The redhead opens his lunch, sighs heavily, and says "If my wife makes me another goddamn Reuben sandwich, I'm going to jump I swear to God."
                    The blonde opens his, also sighs, and says "Goddamn bologna again! If I have to eat one more of these, I'll jump with you!"
                    The black haired guy opens up his sandwich, sees what it is, and says "Another fucking tuna melt from my wife, and I'll jump too!"
                    The next day, sure enough, the redhead has got a Reuben, so he leaps from the girder. The blonde sees that his is bologna, so he takes a leap too. And the guy with black hair takes the plunge after seeing that he has another tuna melt.
                    The construction company agrees to pay for the funerals of its workers, but does them all at once to save some cash.
                    Standing by as the coffins are being lowered into the ground, the readhead's wife breaks down and yells "If only I had been more inspired in my cooking, maybe he wouldn't have jumped!"
                    The wife of the black haired guy wails "I should have introduced some variety! It's my fault he's dead!"
                    They both then turn to the wife of the blonde, who looks back at them and says "What are you looking at me for? He packed his own lunches!"

                    Take the dive...

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                    • GilesG
                      Giles
                      IHUK Crew
                      Joined:

                      Kerboom....

                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                      last edited by MattM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • endoE
                        endo
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        IMG_2919.jpeg

                        si tacuisses

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
                        • MattM
                          Matt
                          見習いボス
                          @Giles
                          Joined:

                          @Giles

                          IMG_1806.jpeg

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                          • GilesG
                            Giles
                            IHUK Crew
                            Joined:

                            Brilliant....

                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • endoE
                              endo
                              見習いボス
                              Joined:

                              My local barber was arrested yesterday for selling drugs. I've been his customer for years. Didn't even know he was a barber!

                              si tacuisses

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 10
                              • GilesG
                                Giles
                                IHUK Crew
                                Joined:

                                Hahahahahahaha

                                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • steelworkerS
                                  steelworker
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  Screenshot 2024-06-23 at 7.35.33 PM.jpeg
                                  Hope I didnt see this here...

                                  Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                                  Well, I have others.

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                                  • J
                                    Jett129
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    It’s like… I helped my Uncle Jack off a horse. Or I helped,my Uncle Jack,off a horse. I think.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                    • BrianB
                                      Brian
                                      Joined:

                                      IMG_4774.jpeg

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • GilesG
                                        Giles
                                        IHUK Crew
                                        Joined:

                                        An old boy saw us coming in earlier. He came to have a look at SAKURA. I admitted that my French is crap, he said I was a true Englishman….

                                        Translated from French (by Paula):

                                        “A person who can speak 3 languages is tri-lingual, a person who can speak 2 is bi-lingual, a person who speaks just 1 language is English”

                                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                        • MattM
                                          Matt
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          Why should English speakers learn new languages? Everyone else learns ours. 😬

                                          last edited by steelworkerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • J
                                            Jett129
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            This is old,but maybe some of you haven’t seen it.

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
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