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    • GilesG
      Giles
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      My fave one-liner of all time.

      Nancy Reagan has had so many face lifts, she's got a goatie….....

      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • GeoG
        Geo
        Joined:

        It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

        It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

        He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

        I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

        "what do you mean?" he said

        "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

        "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

        I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

        I said "what the hell happened to you?"

        He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

        Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • SeulS
          Seul
          Joined:

          @Geo:

          It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

          It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

          He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

          I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

          "what do you mean?" he said

          "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

          "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

          I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

          I said "what the hell happened to you?"

          He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

          😉

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • L
            Loveyuer
            Joined:

            Humerous, quite laughing

            Yesterday is the deadline of all complaints
            http://www.ledstripsuppliers.com/
            Professional LED strip supplier for you , contact me on facebook
            Michael Lv

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Finn666F
              Finn666
              Joined:

              Too good Geo :D…

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • D97x7D
                D97x7
                Joined:

                Excellent Geo

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • GeoG
                  Geo
                  Joined:

                  ok so you all know how awesome injunjack is on the WAYCT thread? well just found out he used to run a little restaurant which sadly failed  😞

                  basically he opened up a place that didn't have a fixed menu as such - the USP was that the customer could order any food combo he or she wanted and if the kitchen couldn't supply it within reasonble cooking time then IJ would pay the customer $100,000 cash

                  well this little place went great guns for weeks . . . cooking and selling weird and wonderful dishes to all that ordered . . . in fact IJ's fame spread far and wide

                  then one day nemesis visited the place

                  IJ came out, complimented Nem on his jawns and took his order:

                  'elephant's ears on toast' said Nem
                  'no problem' answered IJ

                  so off he scurried back into the kitchen . . .

                  moments later there was the sound of pots crashing off walls and some less than muffled swearing, then IJ came out of the kitchen, straightened himself out and walked up to Nem's table

                  'i am sorry to say we cannot provide you with your dinner - please take this cash and leave my restaurant' said IJ
                  Nem laughed  'ha! i knew you wouldn't have elephant's ears!'
                  IJ  'nope . . . it wasn't that'
                  Nem  'then why are you paying up?'
                  IJ  'we ran out of bread . . . .'

                  Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • SeulS
                    Seul
                    Joined:

                    😉

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • injunjackI
                      injunjack
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      😃 😉 🙂

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • B
                        bertoni
                        Joined:

                        Chap goes into a greasy spoon and the geezer behind the counter asks what he wants.

                        "I'll have a full english please mate…but I want the fried egg burnt to a crisp on the bottom and hard in the middle and totally raw on top. I'd like the bacon so crispy that it flies all over the place as soon as I put me fork in it. I'd like the sausages hard and chewy on the outside but uncooked and pink on the inside, the fried bread so black it tastes of coal and the tomatoes ....

                        Bloke behind the counter: Hold up hold up! I ain't got time to do all that!"

                        Customer: "Well you fuckin found time yesterday!"

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • GeoG
                          Geo
                          Joined:

                          😉

                          that was IJ's first effort . . .

                          Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • SeulS
                            Seul
                            Joined:

                            When the elephant was still cooking…

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • GeoG
                              Geo
                              Joined:

                              . . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

                              Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • ?
                                Guest
                                Joined:

                                cool joke Geo,,, 😉

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • SeulS
                                  Seul
                                  Joined:

                                  @Geo:

                                  . . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

                                  You try making an omelette with a trunk…

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                                  • ?
                                    Guest
                                    Joined:

                                    nah Seul,,you need eggs

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                                    • SeulS
                                      Seul
                                      Joined:

                                      Oh everyone's a comedian here innit!..  😉

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                                      • ?
                                        Guest
                                        Joined:

                                        well its a joke page ,,so in fer a penny m8
                                        😉

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                                        • ?
                                          Guest
                                          Joined:

                                          my attempt,,what can run down corridors ,,but cant turn corners,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

                                          a nun with a javelin thru her head
                                          😉

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • ?
                                            Guest
                                            Joined:

                                            Seul and Geo sitting on a park bench on a blazin hot day,,,a female streaker jogs past,,,Seul has a stroke,,,,,Geo couldnt reach 😉

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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