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  • B
    bertoni
    Joined: 17 Oct 2010

    Chap goes into a greasy spoon and the geezer behind the counter asks what he wants.

    "I'll have a full english please mate…but I want the fried egg burnt to a crisp on the bottom and hard in the middle and totally raw on top. I'd like the bacon so crispy that it flies all over the place as soon as I put me fork in it. I'd like the sausages hard and chewy on the outside but uncooked and pink on the inside, the fried bread so black it tastes of coal and the tomatoes ....

    Bloke behind the counter: Hold up hold up! I ain't got time to do all that!"

    Customer: "Well you fuckin found time yesterday!"

    last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:23 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • G
      Geo
      Joined: 29 Sept 2010

      😉

      that was IJ's first effort . . .

      Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

      last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:29 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • S
        Seul
        Joined: 24 Nov 2009

        When the elephant was still cooking…

        last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:30 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • G
          Geo
          Joined: 29 Sept 2010

          . . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

          Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

          last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:33 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • ?
            Guest
            Joined:

            cool joke Geo,,, 😉

            last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:37 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • S
              Seul
              Joined: 24 Nov 2009

              @Geo:

              . . . well they do take a little bit more time . . .

              You try making an omelette with a trunk…

              last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:39 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • ?
                Guest
                Joined:

                nah Seul,,you need eggs

                last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:43 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • S
                  Seul
                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                  Oh everyone's a comedian here innit!..  😉

                  last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:48 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • ?
                    Guest
                    Joined:

                    well its a joke page ,,so in fer a penny m8
                    😉

                    last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:57 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • ?
                      Guest
                      Joined:

                      my attempt,,what can run down corridors ,,but cant turn corners,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

                      a nun with a javelin thru her head
                      😉

                      last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:08 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • ?
                        Guest
                        Joined:

                        Seul and Geo sitting on a park bench on a blazin hot day,,,a female streaker jogs past,,,Seul has a stroke,,,,,Geo couldnt reach 😉

                        last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • G
                          Geo
                          Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                          😉

                          Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                          last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:25 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • B
                            bertoni
                            Joined: 17 Oct 2010

                            😉

                            last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:27 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • S
                              Seul
                              Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                              It was more of a spank really… She actually yelled 'Try and catch me boys' and what with Geo's lungs quantity being halfed, I didn't think it very appropriate...

                              last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:42 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • G
                                Geo
                                Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                i've been a half capacity since i was 4 . . . no worries on my part . . . you're just trying to big yourself up  😉

                                Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 18:53 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • S
                                  Seul
                                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                  That's what she said…

                                  last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 19:01 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • G
                                    Geo
                                    Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                    😉

                                    Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                    last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 19:05 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • ?
                                      Guest
                                      Joined:

                                      Geo gets captured by the Indians,,,after hours of harsh torture ,the Chief injun approaches,,
                                      do you wish to be free Scotsman.to which Geo replies
                                      too fekkin right..
                                      well says the Injun chief,to gain your freedom you must complete three arduous tasks
                                      Geo thinks fer a while,,,
                                      Fekk it,,ill take yer tasks
                                      task one,the Injun chief says,,,
                                      is you must outdrink my son,,the greatest drinker in our tribe,,no man has beaten him
                                      piece of pish,,Geo replies
                                      second task,,is to go out into the woods and search out the cave of The Great Bear,,where you will fight/kill him and bring back one of his teeth
                                      Nae probs,,Geo replies
                                      third task,is you must make passionate love with the ugliest squaw in my tribe,if you survive all tasks you will be set free
                                      Bring it the fekk on,,says Geo

                                      the next day Geo is brought out,,and is sat down in front of the Injun chiefs son,,next to them both is a cauldron full of the nastiest brew going and two cups
                                      Begin,,shouts Injun chief,,
                                      they both begin swiggin down the foul brew,,cup after cup goes down,,till eventually,,,,the Injun chiefs son keels over ,,,
                                      Geo gets up,,and heads off into the woods,,after about 30mins or so,,there is an almighty roar
                                      task 2 has begun ,,the Injun chief says
                                        all you can hear are earpeircing screams,,mighty roars,,,shouting,,,swearing,,,,,,,then silence,,,,,,the Injun chief sends one of his tribe to fetch news of 2nd task,,
                                      then at the edge of the woods,,,,,Geo appears,,,clothes shredded,,,ear flapping in the breeze,,,covered in blood/snot and whatever,,,,then at the top of his voice
                                      Geo shouts,,,NOW WHERE IS THAT FEKKIN SQUAW WITH THE BAD TOOTH!!!!!!!!!!!

                                      last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 19:10 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • G
                                        Geo
                                        Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                        brilliant  😉

                                        Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                        last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 19:12 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • ?
                                          Guest
                                          Joined:

                                          ya like that one,,,,took me fekkin ages to type  😉

                                          last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 19:13 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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