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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • GilesG
      Giles
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

      THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
      THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

      THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

      THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

      THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

      THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

      THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
      "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

      last edited by Giles 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 11
      • EdHE
        EdH
        Iron Heart Deity
        Joined:

        When does a dad joke become funny?
        When the punchline becomes apparent.
        When does the punchline become apparent?
        When it is delivered.

        Take the dive...

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • I
          IrishHeart
          Haraki san Expert
          Joined:

          IMG_0094.png

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
          • I
            IrishHeart
            Haraki san Expert
            Joined:

            IMG_0095.png

            last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
            • goosehdG
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              @IrishHeart
              Joined:

              @IrishHeart 😆 😆 😆

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • endoE
                endo
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                ouch @IrishHeart 😬

                si tacuisses

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • MattM
                  Matt
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  On paper it does sound pretty good.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • J
                    Jett129
                    見習いボス
                    @T4920
                    Joined:

                    @T4920 Saw Anthony Jeselnik live tonight at Carnegie Hall. He was absolutely off the charts,next level brilliant. But he now knows that his fans know what to expect and somehow he manages to stay one step ahead of everyone in when and how he flips the punchline.

                    last edited by MizmazzleM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • MizmazzleM
                      Mizmazzle
                      見習いボス
                      @Jett129
                      Joined:

                      @Jett129 I’d love to see him some day. Think he’s coming to Denver soon or perhaps just passed through. Sold out before I got tix.

                      In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • endoE
                        endo
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        For my german pals only, sorry. The great Bernhard-Viktor 'Vicco' Christoph-Carl von Bülow, or Loriot, was born tomorrow 100 years ago. No one but him could do a literary criticism on the timetable of the Bundesbahn and be entertaining af.

                        si tacuisses

                        last edited by endo 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • J
                          Jett129
                          見習いボス
                          Joined:

                          Took this from Sundays with Mitch.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • MizmazzleM
                            Mizmazzle
                            見習いボス
                            Joined:

                            ^one of a kind

                            In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • dinobarnesberlinD
                              dinobarnesberlin
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined:

                              IMG_7796.jpeg

                              Could be 14oz— could be 18
                              Still getting some fades
                              😳

                              last edited by dinobarnesberlin 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                              • MizmazzleM
                                Mizmazzle
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                Saw Marc Maron last night. He was great! Shook the man’s hand after the show.

                                In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  @Mizmazzle
                                  Joined:

                                  @Mizmazzle Was he wearing anything from Ship John?

                                  last edited by MizmazzleM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • MizmazzleM
                                    Mizmazzle
                                    見習いボス
                                    @Jett129
                                    Joined:

                                    @Jett129 pretty sure he had on the green Patton shirt. After the show when I met him he had on some tweed jacket so couldn’t see his shirt up close.

                                    In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                    last edited by Mizmazzle J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • J
                                      Jett129
                                      見習いボス
                                      @Mizmazzle
                                      Joined:

                                      @Mizmazzle I bought my first ever Ship John shirt because I saw him wearing it on one of the late night talk shows,and it looked so good. It was the canvas waxed Townes,which I hardly wore and ended up selling.

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • endoE
                                        endo
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        IMG_0883.jpeg

                                        sad, but so true

                                        si tacuisses

                                        last edited by endo 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                        • BrianB
                                          Brian
                                          Joined:

                                          Probably already been posted however it’s Friday and i’m too lazy to look back 764 posts

                                          IMG_6620.jpeg

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • endoE
                                            endo
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            nice short documentary on the friendship of Bob Newhart and Don Rickles

                                            si tacuisses

                                            last edited by endo 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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