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That's Jokes

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  • R
    ROman
    Haraki san Prodigy
    Joined: 5 Jan 2015

    ^very good.

    last edited by 3 Nov 2023, 00:03 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
    • B
      Brian
      Joined: 24 Nov 2022

      May have been posted previously I have no idea

      A young lad walked into a pharmacy. "How much is it for one condom?", he asked the pharmacist. "Sorry, son, but they only come in packs of three and they're $3.50," said the pharmacist. "Darn," said the disappointed lad, "I don't have enough money. And today I was planning on getting lucky with my new girlfriend." "Well," said the pharmacist, "in that case you can take a box for free." "Gee, thanks!!!" yelled the lad as he dashed out the door holding the box of condoms.

      That night, he was at his girlfriends' house, and everyone was seated at the dinner table, ready to eat. They all said grace with bowed heads, and then they began eating. As dinner progressed, the girl noticed that the boy's head was still bowed. "I didn't know you were so religious," she whispered to her young boyfriend, impressed.

      "I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist," was his reply.

      last edited by 3 Nov 2023, 09:51 J 1 Reply Last reply 3 Nov 2023, 12:08 Reply Quote 7
      • J
        Jett129
        見習いボス
        @Brian
        Joined: 17 Aug 2011

        @Brian One of my all time favorite jokes.

        last edited by 3 Nov 2023, 12:08 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
        • E
          endo
          見習いボス
          Joined: 29 May 2020

          hahaha

          si tacuisses

          last edited by 3 Nov 2023, 13:35 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • D
            dinobarnesberlin
            啓蒙家
            Joined: 28 Mar 2020

            281e8e96-86f2-417c-8525-9b7b82a9ebed.jpeg

            last edited by 5 Nov 2023, 05:41 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
            • M
              Matt
              見習いボス
              Joined: 4 Oct 2011

              😂

              last edited by 5 Nov 2023, 18:36 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • G
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO TORONTO , WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.

                THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
                THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

                THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT.

                THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO TORONTO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."

                THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.

                THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.

                THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT ANY FUSS.
                "I TOLD HER, 'FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO TORONTO."

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by Giles 11 May 2023, 19:32 5 Nov 2023, 19:30 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 11
                • E
                  EdH
                  Iron Heart Deity
                  Joined: 2 Jan 2022

                  When does a dad joke become funny?
                  When the punchline becomes apparent.
                  When does the punchline become apparent?
                  When it is delivered.

                  Take the dive...

                  last edited by 8 Nov 2023, 15:40 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • I
                    IrishHeart
                    Haraki san Expert
                    Joined: 1 Mar 2023

                    IMG_0094.png

                    last edited by 10 Nov 2023, 17:39 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                    • I
                      IrishHeart
                      Haraki san Expert
                      Joined: 1 Mar 2023

                      IMG_0095.png

                      last edited by 10 Nov 2023, 18:57 G 1 Reply Last reply 10 Nov 2023, 18:59 Reply Quote 7
                      • G
                        goosehd
                        Mod Squad
                        @IrishHeart
                        Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                        @IrishHeart 😆 😆 😆

                        "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                        last edited by 10 Nov 2023, 18:59 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • E
                          endo
                          見習いボス
                          Joined: 29 May 2020

                          ouch @IrishHeart 😬

                          si tacuisses

                          last edited by 10 Nov 2023, 19:01 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • M
                            Matt
                            見習いボス
                            Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                            On paper it does sound pretty good.

                            last edited by 10 Nov 2023, 19:25 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • J
                              Jett129
                              見習いボス
                              @T4920
                              Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                              @T4920 Saw Anthony Jeselnik live tonight at Carnegie Hall. He was absolutely off the charts,next level brilliant. But he now knows that his fans know what to expect and somehow he manages to stay one step ahead of everyone in when and how he flips the punchline.

                              last edited by 11 Nov 2023, 02:23 M 1 Reply Last reply 11 Nov 2023, 03:10 Reply Quote 2
                              • M
                                Mizmazzle
                                見習いボス
                                @Jett129
                                Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                @Jett129 I’d love to see him some day. Think he’s coming to Denver soon or perhaps just passed through. Sold out before I got tix.

                                In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                last edited by 11 Nov 2023, 03:10 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • E
                                  endo
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined: 29 May 2020

                                  For my german pals only, sorry. The great Bernhard-Viktor 'Vicco' Christoph-Carl von Bülow, or Loriot, was born tomorrow 100 years ago. No one but him could do a literary criticism on the timetable of the Bundesbahn and be entertaining af.

                                  si tacuisses

                                  last edited by endo 11 Nov 2023, 16:12 11 Nov 2023, 16:12 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • J
                                    Jett129
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                                    Took this from Sundays with Mitch.

                                    last edited by 13 Nov 2023, 03:18 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • M
                                      Mizmazzle
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                      ^one of a kind

                                      In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                      last edited by 13 Nov 2023, 05:14 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • D
                                        dinobarnesberlin
                                        啓蒙家
                                        Joined: 28 Mar 2020

                                        IMG_7796.jpeg

                                        Could be 14oz— could be 18
                                        Still getting some fades
                                        😳

                                        last edited by dinobarnesberlin 18 Nov 2023, 05:43 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                        • M
                                          Mizmazzle
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                          Saw Marc Maron last night. He was great! Shook the man’s hand after the show.

                                          In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                          last edited by 19 Nov 2023, 15:18 J 1 Reply Last reply 19 Nov 2023, 15:21 Reply Quote 2
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