That's Jokes
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A guy changes jobs and on his first day, askes where you can get a full tank of gas at lowest price around the area. His co-worker Bill tells him there is a gas station no to far off, its not the cheapest but they run an incredible deal and he should check it out for sure.
The guy follows directions and upon locating the station, he spots a huge sign that says: “Free sex here!”
Intrigued, he stops, fills his car and enters the shop. Asking about the sign, the dude behind the counter explains: If you get a full tank of gas, you can enter a lottery, guess the right number between 1 and 10, and receive free sex. Our guy shouts out 7 but no luck, the correct number was 8.
next week, same story, 3 when its 5 and so the story continues.
After a couple months the two coworkers meet up again and our guy goes on a ramble telling Bill he thinks the gas station is a scam, he never ever got the numbers right.
Impossible answers Bill, both my wife and my daughter win all the time! -
@Matt
You doing good
Math lessonhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/CnrWjnpBMTu/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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This one for you lesson 3
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnZJiKmpmAA/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
If you need to lose weight do this
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoHzfVtjW_Y/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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@Matt said in That's Jokes:
My fingers are all muscle. They’ll kick sand on your tiny baby fingers.
That why you look 87 years old
You old codger
Jealous I am younger than you
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@Matt
You doing well in English lesson keep up the good workhttps://www.instagram.com/reel/Cn3FPLFtFK-/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
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A guy gets sent to prison for a long stretch. On his first night in the clink, after lights out, his cell mate goes up to the bars and shouts out “Number 13”.
The whole place starts chuckling, with guys in every cell laughing. After the laugher subsides, someone from another cell shouts out “Number 47”. Everyone in the block chuckles again. Soon, someone yells “Number 26” and there’s a few muted guffaws from the block.
“What’s going on?” The new fish asks. “Why is everyone laughing at numbers?”
The cell mate explains “oh, we have been in here so long that we have learned all of one another’s jokes. So someone came up with the idea of assigning each of them a number so we can get through them quicker each evening. Someone yells a number, we all know which one it is, and we laugh at the memory.”
“Oh, I get it” says the new fish. “Let me have a go.” He moves to the bars and shouts out “Number 67”.
The whole block erupts into deep, uncontrollable belly laughter. The cell mate is doubled over gasping for breath he is laughing so hard.
“That’s a good one” he says, once he has regained his composure. “None of us have heard that one before!”
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I'm going to try and do this one justice. It may well be a "you had to be there", so may fall flat...
Last night we were out to dinner with one of our favourite couples. Mark the husband is one of the world's funniest and most eccentric people I know. He's also been married a few times....The first time, about 50 years ago to a lady a lot older than him...
Mark - Funny thing happened last week.
G - Yes?
Mark - We were sitting at the kitchen table and this strange bloke turns up at the window. He announces that he is my long lost step-son, from my first marriage
Giles - How did you know it was not one of yours?
@Madame-Buttonfly (quick as a flash) - Because he was older than MarkBrilliant
