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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Live Reveal - Thursday 12th of June at 1700BST

    That's Jokes

    General Chat
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    • MattM
      Matt
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • ROmanR
        ROman
        Haraki san Prodigy
        Joined:

        @endo I've been reading good things about Condors new fleet.

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • endoE
          endo
          見習いボス
          Joined:

          The aircraft was fine, but the ride was rough. We experienced turbulences over the indian ocean. I was thrown out of my seat, hit the ceiling with my head and landed in the aisle. Approximately 20 people got injured, one broken leg, lots of bleeding heads. The ceiling in the cabin was actually broken above many seats from people (heads) been thrown against it. Together with 4 other doctors we managed to take care of everyone untill the plane landed about 3 hrs later. Haven‘t had this before.

          si tacuisses

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • motojoboboM
            motojobobo
            啓蒙家
            Joined:

            Glad you made it OK @endo but sorry you and the rest of the passengers had such a rough ride. Never been on such a turbulent flight myself.

            Odds are you are very unlikely to ever buy an IHTB-01-GRN after this !!

            The journey is the objective.

            last edited by endoE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • endoE
              endo
              見習いボス
              @motojobobo
              Joined:

              @motojobobo said in That's Jokes:

              Glad you made it OK @endo but sorry you and the rest of the passengers had such a rough ride. Never been on such a turbulent flight myself.

              Odds are you are very unlikely to ever buy an IHTB-01-GRN after this !!

              😁 no, I‘d love to

              si tacuisses

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                Wow....

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • ROmanR
                  ROman
                  Haraki san Prodigy
                  Joined:

                  WOW @endo glad you made it out Okay, and were able to help the others that were injured. Crazy story.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • MattM
                    Matt
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    That’s nuts. If I were on that plane I’d have gone home and told my family about the dreamy well dressed doctor who tenderly cared for me during my moment of terror. My version would have had snakes in it though. 🐍 ✈️

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • endoE
                      endo
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      haha, not dreamy well dressed I‘m afraid, and no snakes

                      si tacuisses

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • I
                        IrishHeart
                        Haraki san Expert
                        Joined:

                        Newbie here, so hopefully nobody offended by this one.

                        Sister Mary entered the Monastery of Silence. The Abbot said, “ sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so.”
                        Sister Mary lived in the monastery for 5 years before the abbot said to her, “ Sister Mary, you have been here for 5 years. You can speak two words.
                        Sister Mary said, “Hard bed.”
                        “Im sorry to hear that” the Abbot said, “we’ll get you a better bed.”
                        After 5 more years, Sister Mary was called by the Abbot. “ You may say another 2 words Sister”.
                        “ Cold food”, said Sister Mary. The Abbot assured her the food would be better in future.
                        On her 15th anniversary, the Abbot again called Sister Mary into his office. “ You may say 2 words today”.
                        “ I quit” said Sister Mary.
                        “It’s probably for the best” said the Abbot, “ you’ve done fuck all but moan since you’ve been here”.

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
                        • GilesG
                          Giles
                          IHUK Crew
                          Joined:

                          Brilliant

                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • A
                            Autorotate
                            Joined:

                            (This may have been posted earlier)

                            All of my fake plants died… because I forgot to pretend to water them.
                            -Mitch Hedberg

                            I did a YouTube deep dive on some of his joke yesterday, and this is his most popular. King of the deadpan one-liners. He was absolutely brilliant. For a good laugh, I recommend searching some of his performances. Happy Friday!

                            last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                            • goosehdG
                              goosehd
                              Mod Squad
                              Joined:

                              Hedberg always makes me laugh 😂 I think this is one of the one liners he is most known for:

                              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                              • KasiK
                                Kasi
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                @Matt

                                Taking English lessons 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

                                https://www.instagram.com/reel/Co423oxgmJh/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

                                The world's insane
                                While you drink champagne
                                And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  @Autorotate
                                  Joined:

                                  @Autorotate I'm a huge,huge really huge Mitch Hedbberg fan ,and over the years I've occasionally posted clips,and never got any response. Nice to see someone else posting about him. One of my favorites is... My friend said look at this picture of me when I was younger,I told him every picture of you is when you were younger!

                                  last edited by Jett129 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • scarfmaceS
                                    scarfmace
                                    Haraki san Expert
                                    Joined:

                                    A guy changes jobs and on his first day, askes where you can get a full tank of gas at lowest price around the area. His co-worker Bill tells him there is a gas station no to far off, its not the cheapest but they run an incredible deal and he should check it out for sure.
                                    The guy follows directions and upon locating the station, he spots a huge sign that says: “Free sex here!”
                                    Intrigued, he stops, fills his car and enters the shop. Asking about the sign, the dude behind the counter explains: If you get a full tank of gas, you can enter a lottery, guess the right number between 1 and 10, and receive free sex. Our guy shouts out 7 but no luck, the correct number was 8.
                                    next week, same story, 3 when its 5 and so the story continues.
                                    After a couple months the two coworkers meet up again and our guy goes on a ramble telling Bill he thinks the gas station is a scam, he never ever got the numbers right.
                                    Impossible answers Bill, both my wife and my daughter win all the time!

                                    "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                    • KasiK
                                      Kasi
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      @Matt
                                      You doing good
                                      Math lesson

                                      https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnrWjnpBMTu/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

                                      The world's insane
                                      While you drink champagne
                                      And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • J
                                        Jett129
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        One of my favorites. Sites Mitch Hedberg as an influence.

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • KasiK
                                          Kasi
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          @Matt

                                          This one for you lesson 3

                                          🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

                                          https://www.instagram.com/reel/CnZJiKmpmAA/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

                                          If you need to lose weight do this

                                          https://www.instagram.com/reel/CoHzfVtjW_Y/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

                                          The world's insane
                                          While you drink champagne
                                          And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                                          last edited by Kasi 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • KasiK
                                            Kasi
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpeBXf7owSD/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

                                            The world's insane
                                            While you drink champagne
                                            And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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