• Home
    • Recent
    • Calendar
    • Register
    • Login
    Iron Heart Forum
    Iron Heart Forum

    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

    General Chat
    124
    1.3k
    224.7k
    Loading More Posts
    • Oldest to Newest
    • Newest to Oldest
    • Most Votes
    Reply
    • Reply as topic
    Log in to reply
    This topic has been deleted. Only users with topic management privileges can see it.
    • ARNCA
      ARNC
      啓蒙家
      Joined:

      @endo I thought someone else would have bitten by now. As they haven’t, I’ll do the necessary:

      I have never felt the need to comment on my complete lack of interest in sports cars until now  😃

      “Every day that you survive you get a free sunset“

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • endoE
        endo
        見習いボス
        Joined:

        😃 @ARNC

        si tacuisses

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • goosehdG
          goosehd
          Mod Squad
          Joined:

          @ARNC  😃 😃 Well played, well played…

          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • GilesG
            Giles
            IHUK Crew
            Joined:

            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • goosehdG
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              Joined:

              Skinny little man in the elevator

              A skinny little man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little dude staring up at him, so he says to him, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown." The little man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking the little guy. In a weak voice the little pipsqueak says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big guy says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown."

              The little guy stutters, "T-T-T-Turner Brown?? Sweet Jesus, I thought you said 'Turn around'!!"

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • J
                Jett129
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                Al old married couple go to the doctor because their memory isn't what it used to be and they've become really forgetful.  The doctor suggests they write things down to help them remember.  Later on the wife asks the husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. He says sure. She says write it down you'll forget. He says I won't forget. She says I also want whipped cream on it.  She says,once again, write it down. He says no problem I got this. She says I want a cherry on top also. She says again write it down. He says I got it ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry. He goes into the kitchen and comes out a half hour later smiling with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at him and says…Where's the toast?

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • J
                  Jett129
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  @scooter   

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • scooterS
                    scooter
                    啓蒙家
                    Joined:

                    #truth

                    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • GilesG
                      Giles
                      IHUK Crew
                      Joined:

                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • GilesG
                        Giles
                        IHUK Crew
                        Joined:

                        image.png

                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • scooterS
                          scooter
                          啓蒙家
                          Joined:

                          Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • EdHE
                            EdH
                            Iron Heart Deity
                            Joined:

                            @endo This reminded me of your recent brush with traffic enforcement:

                            Take the dive...

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • endoE
                              endo
                              見習いボス
                              Joined:

                              😂 yeah, very much so, btw haven't heard of them since, but ...

                              si tacuisses

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • endoE
                                endo
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                si tacuisses

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • EdHE
                                  EdH
                                  Iron Heart Deity
                                  Joined:

                                  @Matt Ever come across letters like these when you were an insurance guy?

                                  Take the dive...

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • MattM
                                    Matt
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    Just got home, ill def watch these later and get back to you.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • MattM
                                      Matt
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      @EdH i have gotten hundreds, at least, of every variety of angry, confused, frustrated, and batshit nutty correspondence over the past 23 years but the truly inspired ones from those detached from our plane of reality always come written or typed on paper for some reason. I’ve definitely seen some good ones.

                                      last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • GilesG
                                        Giles
                                        IHUK Crew
                                        Joined:

                                        Thank you @endo 🙂

                                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • endoE
                                          endo
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          It's a brilliant show IMO ('Fleabag').

                                          si tacuisses

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • GilesG
                                            Giles
                                            IHUK Crew
                                            Joined:

                                            Have not watched. Will definitely do so now 🙂

                                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                            • First post
                                              Last post
                                            Copyright Iron Heart 2025.