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    • GilesG
      Giles
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      Which is still my fave….

      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • endoE
        endo
        見習いボス
        Joined:

        no joke, real life

        si tacuisses

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • ARNCA
          ARNC
          啓蒙家
          Joined:

          @endo I thought someone else would have bitten by now. As they haven’t, I’ll do the necessary:

          I have never felt the need to comment on my complete lack of interest in sports cars until now  😃

          “Every day that you survive you get a free sunset“

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • endoE
            endo
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            😃 @ARNC

            si tacuisses

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • goosehdG
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              Joined:

              @ARNC  😃 😃 Well played, well played…

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • goosehdG
                  goosehd
                  Mod Squad
                  Joined:

                  Skinny little man in the elevator

                  A skinny little man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little dude staring up at him, so he says to him, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown." The little man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking the little guy. In a weak voice the little pipsqueak says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big guy says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown."

                  The little guy stutters, "T-T-T-Turner Brown?? Sweet Jesus, I thought you said 'Turn around'!!"

                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • J
                    Jett129
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    Al old married couple go to the doctor because their memory isn't what it used to be and they've become really forgetful.  The doctor suggests they write things down to help them remember.  Later on the wife asks the husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. He says sure. She says write it down you'll forget. He says I won't forget. She says I also want whipped cream on it.  She says,once again, write it down. He says no problem I got this. She says I want a cherry on top also. She says again write it down. He says I got it ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry. He goes into the kitchen and comes out a half hour later smiling with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at him and says…Where's the toast?

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • J
                      Jett129
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      @scooter   

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • scooterS
                        scooter
                        啓蒙家
                        Joined:

                        #truth

                        Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • GilesG
                          Giles
                          IHUK Crew
                          Joined:

                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • GilesG
                            Giles
                            IHUK Crew
                            Joined:

                            image.png

                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                            • scooterS
                              scooter
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined:

                              Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • EdHE
                                EdH
                                Iron Heart Deity
                                Joined:

                                @endo This reminded me of your recent brush with traffic enforcement:

                                Take the dive...

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • endoE
                                  endo
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  😂 yeah, very much so, btw haven't heard of them since, but ...

                                  si tacuisses

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • endoE
                                    endo
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    si tacuisses

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • EdHE
                                      EdH
                                      Iron Heart Deity
                                      Joined:

                                      @Matt Ever come across letters like these when you were an insurance guy?

                                      Take the dive...

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • MattM
                                        Matt
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        Just got home, ill def watch these later and get back to you.

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • MattM
                                          Matt
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          @EdH i have gotten hundreds, at least, of every variety of angry, confused, frustrated, and batshit nutty correspondence over the past 23 years but the truly inspired ones from those detached from our plane of reality always come written or typed on paper for some reason. I’ve definitely seen some good ones.

                                          last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • GilesG
                                            Giles
                                            IHUK Crew
                                            Joined:

                                            Thank you @endo 🙂

                                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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