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    • motojoboboM
      motojobobo
      啓蒙家
      Joined:

      A dentist noticed that his next patient, an older woman, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

      'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.

      'No, I don't,' she replied.

      'Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, Then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'

      She didn't crack a smile.

      'Oh, well.. I tried,' he thought.

      But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

      'What's so funny?' he asked.

      'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'

      The journey is the objective.

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
      • endoE
        endo
        見習いボス
        Joined:

        Bildschirm­foto 2023-07-28 um 21.08.55.png

        si tacuisses

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
        • steelworkerS
          steelworker
          見習いボス
          Joined:

          He must be a colonial

          Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
          Well, I have others.

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • J
            Jett129
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            A fun Mitch Hedberg clip.

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • flannel slutF
              flannel slut
              Raw and Unwashed
              Joined:

              Shane Gillis has a new hour up on Netflix. There’s a George Washington skit in there that details how he was able to defeat the British; KILLS

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • I
                IrishHeart
                Haraki san Expert
                Joined:

                A husband takes his wife to a disco.
                There’s a guy on the dance giving it large - break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.

                The wife turns to her husband and says “ see that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”

                Husband says “ looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!”

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 6
                • steelworkerS
                  steelworker
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  IMG_3582.png

                  Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                  Well, I have others.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • endoE
                    endo
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    si tacuisses

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • J
                      Jett129
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      I’m a big fan of Jimmy Carr.

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                      • dinobarnesberlinD
                        dinobarnesberlin
                        啓蒙家
                        Joined:

                        1806f4f8-d048-4f8b-88f2-92f0f92bcbd8.jpeg

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                        • EdHE
                          EdH
                          Iron Heart Deity
                          Joined:

                          I get that these clips are selected rather than representative, but all the same...

                          Take the dive...

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • EdHE
                            EdH
                            Iron Heart Deity
                            Joined:

                            A Dominican and a Jesuit were chain smokers. Both were eager to be allowed to smoke while performing their devotions, but needed to gain permission from a higher authority. ‘I tried asking the Prior, but he was dead against it,’ said the Dominican.

                            ‘What did you ask, precisely?’ enquired the Jesuit.

                            ‘Well, I asked him whether it was acceptable to smoke while I was praying.’

                            ‘Wrong question,’ replied the Jesuit. ‘I asked my Abbot whether I could pray while I was smoking. Permission granted.’

                            (Hat tip to an article in The Spectator.)

                            Take the dive...

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • scooterS
                              scooter
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined:

                              Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                              last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                              • J
                                Jett129
                                見習いボス
                                @scooter
                                Joined:

                                @scooter I think he is the single most brilliant comedian out there and I’m looking forward to seeing him on Nov. 10th at Carnegie Hall. Check out any of his specials on Netflix. He’s a huge football fan…Steelers.

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  This is the joke that got me into him. @scooter

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • T4920T
                                    T4920
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    I have a lot of respect for Jeselnik as a writer, and for pushing the boundaries of human decency to their limits, but I can't help but find his full sets a little tiresome as every single joke follows the same formula.

                                    Really wish he could incorporate just a little bit of long form storytelling into his act..

                                    “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                                    last edited by T4920 J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • J
                                      Jett129
                                      見習いボス
                                      @T4920
                                      Joined:

                                      @T4920 Have you ever heard his story about taking his friend to get an abortion? That’s about 16 minutes long. It’s from his last special I think.

                                      last edited by T4920T 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • T4920T
                                        T4920
                                        見習いボス
                                        @Jett129
                                        Joined:

                                        @Jett129 I think I've seen all of his recent shows (the ones on Netflix anyway) as I watch pretty much every special that's gets uploaded there, but I might well be guilty of tuning out a little if I'm doing other things at the same time.

                                        I'll try and find the bit this evening, and will gladly stand corrected if warranted!

                                        “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                                        last edited by T4920 J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • J
                                          Jett129
                                          見習いボス
                                          @T4920
                                          Joined:

                                          @T4920 Here you go.

                                          last edited by T4920T 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • T4920T
                                            T4920
                                            見習いボス
                                            @Jett129
                                            Joined:

                                            @Jett129 Thanks man, that was brilliant. I'm going to watch the whole show over the weekend now. Seems like I may have jumped to conclusions about his style based on some other material that didn't particularly resonate with me, always happy to have my mind changed.

                                            Just finished watching Michelle Wolf's new three-part Netflix special, 'It's Great to Be Here'.
                                            Such good stuff. Tackles some hot, controversial issues in extremely clever and original ways! Definitely recommend a watch, and it's split into 3 themed episodes so it's very digestible if you're short on time.

                                            “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                                            last edited by T4920 J 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
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