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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    + SEUL'S WRITING TOPIC - MAINLY FOR GETTING ADVICE CAUSE HE'S AN INEPT TOOL +

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    • SeulS
      Seul
      Joined:

      Thank you, thank you ever so much. Alcie's a keeper though… It's me second language and somehow it feels more natural...

      More dribble... Main goal still is to move to Ireland soon, so I need this exercise!.. (IHxIreland: you hiring?..)

      George never was a great speaker. Throat cancer saw to that.

      Mark didn't understand Baudelaire. Or Verlaine, for that matter. The most romantic thing he'd ever done was suck off Terry at a picnic. Just then he realised he'd forgotten the strawberry jam. Oh how Mark loved the stuff! They made fun of his rather legendary appetite for jam at family parties… And there he was... With a throat full of cock and a soon to be dry piece of croissant.

      Swings and roundabouts.

      Martha never grew old. She died.

      The doctor realised he hadn't quite succeeded in putting Susan under, as she was strangling him with one hand, calling him a liar and an  incompetent fool, whilst reaching for anything that would, hopefully more succesfully, give him a tracheostomy, through which she'd feed him hornets... Who needs doctors. They're a dime a dozen, she thought, just before everything went black.

      And then woke up with just the one arm.

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • GilesG
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined:

        Am now

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • ChrisC
          Chris
          Raw and Unwashed
          Joined:

          You going for English English or American English?  I ask because "whilst" and "tracheostomy" are much more common for UK English. Americans would generally use "while" and "tracheotomy".

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • SeulS
            Seul
            Joined:

            I don't even acknowledge US English…

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • scarfmaceS
              scarfmace
              Haraki san Expert
              Joined:

              I don't understand, if his throat is full of cock and crosisant, how can the croissant suddenly get dry?  😉 😉

              "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • ChrisC
                Chris
                Raw and Unwashed
                Joined:

                @Seul:

                I don't even acknowledge US English…

                The most reasonable position to take, really.

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • SeulS
                  Seul
                  Joined:

                  @scarfmace:

                  I don't understand, if his throat is full of cock and crosisant, how can the croissant suddenly get dry?  😉 😉

                  Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • mclaincauseyM
                    mclaincausey
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    "Alchie" reads more like what I think you're saying here than either other spelling IMO.

                    Have you tried cinnamon rolls?

                    Think it, be it.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • S
                      sabergirl
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      @Seul:

                      Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                      I expect that depends on where you’re getting your croissants.

                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • neph93N
                        neph93
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        @sabergirl:

                        @Seul:

                        Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                        I expect that depends on where you’re getting your croissants.

                        Do you know a place?  ???

                        “Some of those that work forces
                        Are the same that burn crosses”

                        • Virginia Woolf
                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • SeulS
                          Seul
                          Joined:

                          Some bad bad bad lines here that don't get the rhytm but I have no ego (except for my huge ego) so just go so just go go go look at my ego and and and looks over this won't you sweet 'tings do me this favour then…
                          (PS: all English in 'ere is very UK except for "yinz" which is my fav Southern US word next to POP...)

                          There's less air than liquor here. There's less need for air than liquor 'ere.

                          We are alive, sometimes it's all you got,
                          out and about, folk out loud or purposely not..
                          We are all sun and carbon, warmth, hate, love, soulful cloud dat!…
                          Cat's out there look!
                          SHOOK.
                          You's scared she'd fall three down haha she never will she never won't...
                          Meanwhile we'll die of cancer or misinterpreting the weather.
                          Miserable bastards us cunts.

                          There's folk here... Good folk bad folk yinz who care
                          folk who don't folk in all colourz
                          folk white folk brown folk black folk yella
                          YELLA?
                          Shit sorry her liver's giving out I ain't even trying to be woke, folk.
                          Talk.

                          ... There's folk here... They'se a ruckus or ain''t... Daily lives – always there -
                          And the cats don't love 'm... I get cats better than men. Cats shy from everyone – it's good advice.

                          There's weather here. And drinks. There's always weather Heather innit bin it there's always drinks stinks bin it. Finnit. Yeah you got that'un. Good. Finish it.

                          We need God as little as he needs us.

                          We need goodness as little s'we deserve it.

                          We could do better as us should. But we don't so we don't deserve it. Serve it. Couldn't dish a colder platter even if you freezed it.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • S
                            sabergirl
                            見習いボス
                            Joined:

                            @Seul:

                            Cats shy from everyone – it's good advice.

                            Love this line.

                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • SeulS
                              Seul
                              Joined:

                              Turns out I love queer girls - must explain my succes in love.

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • S
                                sabergirl
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                [emoji8]

                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • SeulS
                                  Seul
                                  Joined:

                                  Sorry I'm in a bad way… Yinz needa deal... I think this is better?..

                                  There's less air than liquor here.
                                  Lesser liquor as air is 'ere.
                                  is
                                  Lesser need for the blesser
                                  is
                                  then
                                  As us never forgave
                                  just gave and GAVE
                                  Might 've dug us own grave.

                                  BLESS.

                                  Us
                                  Mostly dead, beat; sometimes it's all you got,
                                  out and 'bout, folk living loud or purposely not
                                  Yinz all sun and carbon, warmth and love
                                  ever glowful moon dat

                                  SHIT!

                                  Cat's out there look!

                                  SHOOK!

                                  You's scared she'd fall three down
                                  haha she never will she never won't…
                                  Meanwhile us is dying til we can't or don't
                                  Miserable lot us cunt
                                  Best gi's another litter of them cute runt.

                                  THEN.

                                  There's folk here...
                                  Good folk bad folk yinz who care
                                  Folk them joke
                                  folk who's felt
                                  folk who scare
                                  folk who don't
                                  folks them won't
                                  more colourz
                                  'Benetton ad

                                  TALK.

                                  Some's a ruckus but I won't
                                  Daily fight – even cats tire
                                  I get them better than men.
                                  They shy from all us folk –
                                  instinct which I admire.

                                  There's weather here..
                                  There's weather here.
                                  It gets repetitive.

                                  REPEAT.

                                  There's always weather Heather innit bin it
                                  there's always drinks '
                                  'n drinks
                                  'n tinks 'n finks
                                  but
                                  Bin it. Finnit.
                                  Yeah you got that'un.

                                  FINISH.

                                  We need God as little as he needs us.
                                  Fuss.

                                  We could do better as us should. But we don't so we DESERVE.
                                  .
                                  Swerve.

                                  Couldn't dish a plate colder if a Kardashian served it.

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • SeulS
                                    Seul
                                    Joined:

                                    Don't even read this. 4.28 am and I don't even know if I'm alive.

                                    How life begins! At 7am it bursts open like a festering wound!
                                    Cars! Voices! Families! Look at that young pigeon skyrocketing!.. Bloody Nasa that thing!.. And me looking at it with bloodshot eyes.
                                    It is what it is. Always. As I say to myself and thus know.That fucking pigeon has more direction than me. And is a damn lot more smarter as is I.

                                    7am! The howls! The cries! The moans! As if everything's born again! Everyone's conceiving! Birth of mind sun planets universe – and a shitload of pigeons. Can't even hold on to those. They're smarter than I am - at 7am they scatter.

                                    The world! It awakens! Again! It's never been gone, some know some don't… It just takes one look... But alas! We live on a planet of the blind! Never a blink, just an exhausted weary  sigh. Not even a one eyed king just a fool. And we all seem to take after 'im. Except for the pigeons.

                                    The uproar!.. It shatters my world! Silence, darkness! Slumber! Fantasies by the millions! A life I'll never have! Rain? Please, please lord I'm not a religious man but can you please put on my favourite soundtrack!.. Wake the worms hell wake me up... And trap me once more into this godfall of a day starting.

                                    Once more. One last goddamn time.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • S
                                      sabergirl
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:


                                      Not sure how well Tapatalk plays with the forum these days, but if it works, enjoy this fucking pigeon seeing into your soul, Eli.

                                      Otherwise the 404 broken gif link will have to do.

                                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • SeulS
                                        Seul
                                        Joined:

                                        Scariest thing I've ever seen  😃 😃 😃 (But yeah: oi you know… Thanks for being here for me sub!.. It ain't nothing... It's a ton if you're in a bad way...)

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • SeulS
                                          Seul
                                          Joined:

                                          (Note to self: this is shit. Go to bed. And will you please shut it.)

                                          They had an eye out for Carl cause he had ordered a glass one and then refused to pick it up.

                                          There's worse folk than I. Have you heard of Hitler? Look 'm up. Piece of work, that.

                                          It still smells worse than two drunken goddamn hilbilly bars having sex in here. I just wished I was having sex with two drunken goddam hillbillies in here rn. I'd mudwrestle the one 'n finger the other…

                                          No: go look up Hitler. Then come back to me.

                                          Carl was a sweet man. Victim of someone stabbing him for being Jewish, losing the eye. It's ok though cause they got the bastard in the chamber... Where they got all of them fellas and one soldier managed to collect 7 glass eyes after they'd been convinced of dying. None's was Carl's though. He never picked his up. There's a weird “in hindsight” joke here but...

                                          Go look up Hitler.

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • SeulS
                                            Seul
                                            Joined:

                                            So my family was legit concerned about my mental state after posting the STILL WOKE FOLK bit on FB… Well I guess it's raining and I'm listening to

                                            And I's written... Which I reckon won't sooth them...

                                            2,37am t'is

                                            but

                                            LOOK!

                                            Isssis for alll of yinz's got SHOOK
                                            pray
                                            well
                                            tell
                                            should mind their minds and LOOK.

                                            BE.

                                            Issis more brew than stew
                                            but then us know
                                            past midnight
                                            shit
                                            issis how we go.

                                            I get more drink than a good puss' stink.

                                            FINK.

                                            Just leave us 'n leave us be.

                                            Leave us t'is nearing three.

                                            'N us is nearly free.

                                            Cold breeze here is spelling
                                            Might I gone no telling.

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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