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+ SEUL'S WRITING TOPIC - MAINLY FOR GETTING ADVICE CAUSE HE'S AN INEPT TOOL +

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  • N
    neph93
    見習いボス
    Joined: 18 Aug 2014

    Also “incapable” and while “Alkie” is idiomatic, the preferred spelling is with a “k” not a “c”. So “incapable alkie”.

    “Some of those that work forces
    Are the same that burn crosses”

    • Virginia Woolf
    last edited by 15 Jun 2021, 14:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • S
      Seul
      Joined: 24 Nov 2009

      Thank you, thank you ever so much. Alcie's a keeper though… It's me second language and somehow it feels more natural...

      More dribble... Main goal still is to move to Ireland soon, so I need this exercise!.. (IHxIreland: you hiring?..)

      George never was a great speaker. Throat cancer saw to that.

      Mark didn't understand Baudelaire. Or Verlaine, for that matter. The most romantic thing he'd ever done was suck off Terry at a picnic. Just then he realised he'd forgotten the strawberry jam. Oh how Mark loved the stuff! They made fun of his rather legendary appetite for jam at family parties… And there he was... With a throat full of cock and a soon to be dry piece of croissant.

      Swings and roundabouts.

      Martha never grew old. She died.

      The doctor realised he hadn't quite succeeded in putting Susan under, as she was strangling him with one hand, calling him a liar and an  incompetent fool, whilst reaching for anything that would, hopefully more succesfully, give him a tracheostomy, through which she'd feed him hornets... Who needs doctors. They're a dime a dozen, she thought, just before everything went black.

      And then woke up with just the one arm.

      last edited by 15 Jun 2021, 15:37 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • G
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined: 22 Sept 2009

        Am now

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 15 Jun 2021, 15:48 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • C
          Chris
          Raw and Unwashed
          Joined: 28 Jun 2010

          You going for English English or American English?  I ask because "whilst" and "tracheostomy" are much more common for UK English. Americans would generally use "while" and "tracheotomy".

          last edited by 15 Jun 2021, 17:53 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • S
            Seul
            Joined: 24 Nov 2009

            I don't even acknowledge US English…

            last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 05:40 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • S
              scarfmace
              Haraki san Expert
              Joined: 20 Feb 2015

              I don't understand, if his throat is full of cock and crosisant, how can the croissant suddenly get dry?  😉 😉

              "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

              last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 07:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • C
                Chris
                Raw and Unwashed
                Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                @Seul:

                I don't even acknowledge US English…

                The most reasonable position to take, really.

                last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 17:17 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • S
                  Seul
                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                  @scarfmace:

                  I don't understand, if his throat is full of cock and crosisant, how can the croissant suddenly get dry?  😉 😉

                  Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                  last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 17:46 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • M
                    mclaincausey
                    見習いボス
                    Joined: 12 Apr 2013

                    "Alchie" reads more like what I think you're saying here than either other spelling IMO.

                    Have you tried cinnamon rolls?

                    Think it, be it.

                    last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 19:44 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • S
                      sabergirl
                      見習いボス
                      Joined: 4 Oct 2013

                      @Seul:

                      Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                      I expect that depends on where you’re getting your croissants.

                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                      last edited by 16 Jun 2021, 23:11 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • N
                        neph93
                        見習いボス
                        Joined: 18 Aug 2014

                        @sabergirl:

                        @Seul:

                        Cause croissants don't come pre-cummed on.

                        I expect that depends on where you’re getting your croissants.

                        Do you know a place?  ???

                        “Some of those that work forces
                        Are the same that burn crosses”

                        • Virginia Woolf
                        last edited by 17 Jun 2021, 09:21 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • S
                          Seul
                          Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                          Some bad bad bad lines here that don't get the rhytm but I have no ego (except for my huge ego) so just go so just go go go look at my ego and and and looks over this won't you sweet 'tings do me this favour then…
                          (PS: all English in 'ere is very UK except for "yinz" which is my fav Southern US word next to POP...)

                          There's less air than liquor here. There's less need for air than liquor 'ere.

                          We are alive, sometimes it's all you got,
                          out and about, folk out loud or purposely not..
                          We are all sun and carbon, warmth, hate, love, soulful cloud dat!…
                          Cat's out there look!
                          SHOOK.
                          You's scared she'd fall three down haha she never will she never won't...
                          Meanwhile we'll die of cancer or misinterpreting the weather.
                          Miserable bastards us cunts.

                          There's folk here... Good folk bad folk yinz who care
                          folk who don't folk in all colourz
                          folk white folk brown folk black folk yella
                          YELLA?
                          Shit sorry her liver's giving out I ain't even trying to be woke, folk.
                          Talk.

                          ... There's folk here... They'se a ruckus or ain''t... Daily lives – always there -
                          And the cats don't love 'm... I get cats better than men. Cats shy from everyone – it's good advice.

                          There's weather here. And drinks. There's always weather Heather innit bin it there's always drinks stinks bin it. Finnit. Yeah you got that'un. Good. Finish it.

                          We need God as little as he needs us.

                          We need goodness as little s'we deserve it.

                          We could do better as us should. But we don't so we don't deserve it. Serve it. Couldn't dish a colder platter even if you freezed it.

                          last edited by 10 Jun 2022, 10:41 6 Oct 2022, 09:30 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • S
                            sabergirl
                            見習いボス
                            Joined: 4 Oct 2013

                            @Seul:

                            Cats shy from everyone – it's good advice.

                            Love this line.

                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                            last edited by 6 Oct 2022, 11:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • S
                              Seul
                              Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                              Turns out I love queer girls - must explain my succes in love.

                              last edited by 6 Oct 2022, 12:06 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • S
                                sabergirl
                                見習いボス
                                Joined: 4 Oct 2013

                                [emoji8]

                                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                                last edited by 6 Oct 2022, 12:14 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • S
                                  Seul
                                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                  Sorry I'm in a bad way… Yinz needa deal... I think this is better?..

                                  There's less air than liquor here.
                                  Lesser liquor as air is 'ere.
                                  is
                                  Lesser need for the blesser
                                  is
                                  then
                                  As us never forgave
                                  just gave and GAVE
                                  Might 've dug us own grave.

                                  BLESS.

                                  Us
                                  Mostly dead, beat; sometimes it's all you got,
                                  out and 'bout, folk living loud or purposely not
                                  Yinz all sun and carbon, warmth and love
                                  ever glowful moon dat

                                  SHIT!

                                  Cat's out there look!

                                  SHOOK!

                                  You's scared she'd fall three down
                                  haha she never will she never won't…
                                  Meanwhile us is dying til we can't or don't
                                  Miserable lot us cunt
                                  Best gi's another litter of them cute runt.

                                  THEN.

                                  There's folk here...
                                  Good folk bad folk yinz who care
                                  Folk them joke
                                  folk who's felt
                                  folk who scare
                                  folk who don't
                                  folks them won't
                                  more colourz
                                  'Benetton ad

                                  TALK.

                                  Some's a ruckus but I won't
                                  Daily fight – even cats tire
                                  I get them better than men.
                                  They shy from all us folk –
                                  instinct which I admire.

                                  There's weather here..
                                  There's weather here.
                                  It gets repetitive.

                                  REPEAT.

                                  There's always weather Heather innit bin it
                                  there's always drinks '
                                  'n drinks
                                  'n tinks 'n finks
                                  but
                                  Bin it. Finnit.
                                  Yeah you got that'un.

                                  FINISH.

                                  We need God as little as he needs us.
                                  Fuss.

                                  We could do better as us should. But we don't so we DESERVE.
                                  .
                                  Swerve.

                                  Couldn't dish a plate colder if a Kardashian served it.

                                  last edited by 10 Oct 2022, 11:37 7 Oct 2022, 00:35 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • S
                                    Seul
                                    Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                    Don't even read this. 4.28 am and I don't even know if I'm alive.

                                    How life begins! At 7am it bursts open like a festering wound!
                                    Cars! Voices! Families! Look at that young pigeon skyrocketing!.. Bloody Nasa that thing!.. And me looking at it with bloodshot eyes.
                                    It is what it is. Always. As I say to myself and thus know.That fucking pigeon has more direction than me. And is a damn lot more smarter as is I.

                                    7am! The howls! The cries! The moans! As if everything's born again! Everyone's conceiving! Birth of mind sun planets universe – and a shitload of pigeons. Can't even hold on to those. They're smarter than I am - at 7am they scatter.

                                    The world! It awakens! Again! It's never been gone, some know some don't… It just takes one look... But alas! We live on a planet of the blind! Never a blink, just an exhausted weary  sigh. Not even a one eyed king just a fool. And we all seem to take after 'im. Except for the pigeons.

                                    The uproar!.. It shatters my world! Silence, darkness! Slumber! Fantasies by the millions! A life I'll never have! Rain? Please, please lord I'm not a religious man but can you please put on my favourite soundtrack!.. Wake the worms hell wake me up... And trap me once more into this godfall of a day starting.

                                    Once more. One last goddamn time.

                                    last edited by 7 Oct 2022, 02:29 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • S
                                      sabergirl
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined: 4 Oct 2013


                                      Not sure how well Tapatalk plays with the forum these days, but if it works, enjoy this fucking pigeon seeing into your soul, Eli.

                                      Otherwise the 404 broken gif link will have to do.

                                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                                      last edited by 7 Oct 2022, 02:41 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • S
                                        Seul
                                        Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                        Scariest thing I've ever seen  😃 😃 😃 (But yeah: oi you know… Thanks for being here for me sub!.. It ain't nothing... It's a ton if you're in a bad way...)

                                        last edited by 7 Oct 2022, 03:04 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • S
                                          Seul
                                          Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                          (Note to self: this is shit. Go to bed. And will you please shut it.)

                                          They had an eye out for Carl cause he had ordered a glass one and then refused to pick it up.

                                          There's worse folk than I. Have you heard of Hitler? Look 'm up. Piece of work, that.

                                          It still smells worse than two drunken goddamn hilbilly bars having sex in here. I just wished I was having sex with two drunken goddam hillbillies in here rn. I'd mudwrestle the one 'n finger the other…

                                          No: go look up Hitler. Then come back to me.

                                          Carl was a sweet man. Victim of someone stabbing him for being Jewish, losing the eye. It's ok though cause they got the bastard in the chamber... Where they got all of them fellas and one soldier managed to collect 7 glass eyes after they'd been convinced of dying. None's was Carl's though. He never picked his up. There's a weird “in hindsight” joke here but...

                                          Go look up Hitler.

                                          last edited by 7 Oct 2022, 03:12 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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