That's Jokes
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An old boy saw us coming in earlier. He came to have a look at SAKURA. I admitted that my French is crap, he said I was a true Englishman….
Translated from French (by Paula):
“A person who can speak 3 languages is tri-lingual, a person who can speak 2 is bi-lingual, a person who speaks just 1 language is English”
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@Matt like metric vs imperial. It makes sense and its easy to understand. Wtf would we need that?
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Bret Ernst is a very funny comedian. I always liked this bit, it’s pretty old but still makes me laugh
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This guy is gold. His delivery seals the deal.
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@CosmoSix5 Haven’t finished it yet,but he’s really great. At times reminded me of,one of my favorites,Mitch Hedberg. His timing and delivery are really great. Maybe a little Steven Wright in there.
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@Jett129 he does a bit about checking out at whole foods with someone else's cart. ""What can they say? I..... Gathered that""
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@CosmoSix5 That was great as was everything else he did. Are you,at all,familiar with Mitch Herberg? He didn’t like telling long stories that ended with a joke,instead he just told you things that he found amusing like …An escalator can not be broken it can only be stairs. My friend said this is a picture of me when I was younger,I said every picture of you is when you were younger. Some of his observations reminded me of Mitch. He died quite young,and a few of today’s comedians,such as John Mulaney,site him as an influence. Check him out on YouTube.
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Why can't Smokey Bear and his wife have kids?
Every time she gets hot he smacks her with a shovel.
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You’re playing for the club championship. After 17 holes you and your opponent are dead even. You have the honors off the 18th tee. You hit your drive down the middle of the fairway 280 yards. Your opponent goes straight right into the woods. You help him look for the ball for about 10 minutes. Finally he says, “why don’t you go and hit your second shot, I’ll look for my ball for a couple more minutes and if I don’t find it, I’ll go back and tee up again”. You go out to the fairway and hit your second shot. It’s perfect. Lands about 10 feet from the pin. Just as your ball hits the green; from out in the woods you hear “FOUND IT”. The ball comes flying out of the woods and falls about 2 inches from the pin for a gimmie.
Here’s the dilemma.
Do you take the cheating bastards ball out of your pocket? And confront him with it? Or do you just keep your mouth shut? -
@flannel-slut Isn’t the punchline the funny answer to the question. Similar joke. Years ago. You see Osama Bin Laden clinging to a tree branch in a raging river. You can go for help and risk missing out on taking a prize winning picture. The question is what lens do you use? Or something like that.
