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    • MattM
      Matt
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      Why should English speakers learn new languages? Everyone else learns ours. 😬

      last edited by steelworkerS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
      • J
        Jett129
        見習いボス
        Joined:

        This is old,but maybe some of you haven’t seen it.

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • steelworkerS
          steelworker
          見習いボス
          @Matt
          Joined:

          @Matt like metric vs imperial. It makes sense and its easy to understand. Wtf would we need that?

          Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
          Well, I have others.

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
          • J
            Jett129
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            Saw this on Reddit and immediately thought of @Giles Had to screenshot it. Disregard the Headline.
            IMG_2365.png

            last edited by Jett129 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
            • GilesG
              Giles
              IHUK Crew
              Joined:

              hahahahahah

              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • endoE
                endo
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                I know it's old, but so good.

                si tacuisses

                last edited by MizmazzleM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                • scooterS
                  scooter
                  啓蒙家
                  Joined:

                  Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • MizmazzleM
                    Mizmazzle
                    見習いボス
                    @endo
                    Joined:

                    @endo Freaking hilarious!!!

                    In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • scooterS
                      scooter
                      啓蒙家
                      Joined:

                      Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • Danimal506D
                        Danimal506
                        Haraki san Expert
                        Joined:

                        Bret Ernst is a very funny comedian. I always liked this bit, it’s pretty old but still makes me laugh

                        WTB:
                        IHC-06
                        IHSW-70 L or XL
                        UHF Pillow Cover

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • J
                          Jett129
                          見習いボス
                          Joined:

                          Thought this was pretty funny.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • CosmoSix5C
                            CosmoSix5
                            Haraki san Prodigy
                            Joined:

                            This guy is gold. His delivery seals the deal.

                            WTB Brund Flannel 2 or 3x

                            last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • J
                              Jett129
                              見習いボス
                              @CosmoSix5
                              Joined:

                              @CosmoSix5 Haven’t finished it yet,but he’s really great. At times reminded me of,one of my favorites,Mitch Hedberg. His timing and delivery are really great. Maybe a little Steven Wright in there.

                              last edited by CosmoSix5C 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • CosmoSix5C
                                CosmoSix5
                                Haraki san Prodigy
                                @Jett129
                                Joined:

                                @Jett129 he does a bit about checking out at whole foods with someone else's cart. ""What can they say? I..... Gathered that"" 😂

                                WTB Brund Flannel 2 or 3x

                                last edited by J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  @CosmoSix5
                                  Joined:

                                  @CosmoSix5 That was great as was everything else he did. Are you,at all,familiar with Mitch Herberg? He didn’t like telling long stories that ended with a joke,instead he just told you things that he found amusing like …An escalator can not be broken it can only be stairs. My friend said this is a picture of me when I was younger,I said every picture of you is when you were younger. Some of his observations reminded me of Mitch. He died quite young,and a few of today’s comedians,such as John Mulaney,site him as an influence. Check him out on YouTube.

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • scooterS
                                    scooter
                                    啓蒙家
                                    Joined:

                                    Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • CosmoSix5C
                                      CosmoSix5
                                      Haraki san Prodigy
                                      Joined:

                                      Why can't Smokey Bear and his wife have kids?

                                      Every time she gets hot he smacks her with a shovel.
                                      Smokey-Standing.png

                                      WTB Brund Flannel 2 or 3x

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • flannel slutF
                                        flannel slut
                                        Raw and Unwashed
                                        Joined:

                                        You’re playing for the club championship. After 17 holes you and your opponent are dead even. You have the honors off the 18th tee. You hit your drive down the middle of the fairway 280 yards. Your opponent goes straight right into the woods. You help him look for the ball for about 10 minutes. Finally he says, “why don’t you go and hit your second shot, I’ll look for my ball for a couple more minutes and if I don’t find it, I’ll go back and tee up again”. You go out to the fairway and hit your second shot. It’s perfect. Lands about 10 feet from the pin. Just as your ball hits the green; from out in the woods you hear “FOUND IT”. The ball comes flying out of the woods and falls about 2 inches from the pin for a gimmie.
                                        Here’s the dilemma.
                                        Do you take the cheating bastards ball out of your pocket? And confront him with it? Or do you just keep your mouth shut?

                                        last edited by flannel slut J 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • J
                                          Jett129
                                          見習いボス
                                          @flannel slut
                                          Joined:

                                          @flannel-slut Isn’t the punchline the funny answer to the question. Similar joke. Years ago. You see Osama Bin Laden clinging to a tree branch in a raging river. You can go for help and risk missing out on taking a prize winning picture. The question is what lens do you use? Or something like that.

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • endoE
                                            endo
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            "Mum, today at school we all put our dicks on the table and mine was the longest."
                                            "Comes as no surprise, Alfred, you are the teacher."

                                            si tacuisses

                                            last edited by BrianB 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
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