That's Jokes
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Good one @Jett129 !!!
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A middle aged British guy is on a business trip to the USA. Being away from the wife and kids, he decides to be naughty and head out to the local red light district one night. He quickly finds a brothel, and heads inside.
All the girls are enamoured with his accent and foreign ways. The madam decides to put a stop to the gaggle of girls, who are ignoring other punters, and asks the Brit to sit down in the corner and she'll send a girl over.
First she sends over one of her newest girls; she needs more experience, and where better to get it than from a foreign gent! The girl heads over, they chat for a bit, she giggles flirtatiously, then sits on his lap. The Brit leans in and whispers in her ear. "No way, I'm not doing that!" she yells, and quickly runs away from him.
The madam realises the Brit must have foreign tastes that are a bit risque, so she sends over a girl who's been around a bit longer. Again, they chat, he makes her giggle, she sits on his lap, and then the Brit whispers in her ear. "Get fucked!" the girl says to him, venomously, before leaving him alone.
A man whose tastes are as eclectic as this guy's are needs the madam's most experienced hooker, she thinks… so she sends in Lola, who has never refused anything. Lola goes up to the Brit, they chat, he makes her giggle, and Lola sits on his lap. The Brit whispers in Lola's ear. "No way asshole" says Lola, slapping him hard across the face before leaving him sat there alone.
Now the madam is intrigued. What must this guy be into that even Lola refused? While she hasn't done any bedroom work for a while, the madam decides that she alone has the years of experience required to satisfy this guy. So she heads in.
They chat for a while, the Brit tells a saucy joke which makes the madam genuinely laugh, and she too sits on his lap afterwards. The Brit leans in to whisper in her ear:
"Can I pay in pounds?"
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Thought you'd like that one @Giles, I thought it had a similar appeal to the "best pub" joke…
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Skinny little man in the elevator
A skinny little man goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little dude staring up at him, so he says to him, "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pounds of testicles, Turner Brown." The little man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking the little guy. In a weak voice the little pipsqueak says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big guy says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me…I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 pounds and my name is Turner Brown."
The little guy stutters, "T-T-T-Turner Brown?? Sweet Jesus, I thought you said 'Turn around'!!"
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Al old married couple go to the doctor because their memory isn't what it used to be and they've become really forgetful. The doctor suggests they write things down to help them remember. Later on the wife asks the husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. He says sure. She says write it down you'll forget. He says I won't forget. She says I also want whipped cream on it. She says,once again, write it down. He says no problem I got this. She says I want a cherry on top also. She says again write it down. He says I got it ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry. He goes into the kitchen and comes out a half hour later smiling with a plate of bacon and eggs. She looks at him and says…Where's the toast?
