Random Rants

[Jett129]

@neph93 said in Random Rants:

@tody reminds me of a joke about Liverpudlians:

Q: What do you call a scouser in a suit?
A: The defendant.

Also,What do you call a drummer in a 3 piece suit?…The defendant!

[Tago Mago]

@Giles How was the rest of the flight? Especially attentive service?

[Giles]

Amazingly attentive

[Brian]

It’s like the millionaire walking into a Ferrari garage in flip flops shorts and a tshirt and being left unattended and not spoken to even though they could buy any of the cars there ( well not quite if you know how super car sales work ) and the tyre kicker in a suit getting all the attention

[IrishHeart]

@Brian you do have to be careful kicking tyres in flip flops!

[Walery Smirnoff]

@Brian I work at BMW service. Or rather, a former BMW service. Regular clients are officials, thieves, hooligans and swindlers. This audience in any clothes behaves like complete freaks. If you knock on his wheel, they’ll drag him to court or take him to the forest to talk)

[Brian]

Don’t get me started on the super car rorte the dealers over the world run it’s almost as bad as the mafia in some ways

[jerkules]

I have a work trip to the US that I’m dreading next week, the only silver lining being the BA business flights I’ve managed to wangle. Never flown business, and fully expect something similar will happen to me when boarding.

[Giles]

Hahahahahaha

[neph93]

@tody you could probably find an area/city in the US (?) which would apply. I won’t show my ignorance and suggest one.

[WhiskeySandwich]

I'm creating a performance improvement plan for one of my direct reports because he "talks too much and farts too loud and it's creating a distracting environment".

[Giles]

hahahahahahaha

I want to see the "Do not fart out-loud" part of that plan....

[Tago Mago]

@WhiskeySandwich which of his two transgressions is causing the distraction?

[Giles]

Both are aural, one is olifactory as well......So I go for the fart....

[Giles]

And what exactly is the performance issue? That he can't talk and fart at the same time, therefore an inability to multi-task....

Oh, and whilst we are at it, would it be OK if his farts were silent?

[mclaincausey]

@Giles

Start chewing your food

No more beer

Reduce consumption of cabbage and cruciferous vegetables by 50% or more

If all else fails, go to the bathroom you absolute savage

[Giles]

Cut out the curries....

[neph93]

@Jett129 works too!

[WhiskeySandwich]

LOL there are several issues going on. The employee has had several complaints - loud and excessively long conversations unrelated to work causing distractions, engaging in blatant and excessive entertainment media on the job (youtube usage), and as a result, just being slow to complete their work....and loud farting. All of which takes away from productivity of the employee and those around. There have been several complaints and several informal warnings and talks. Of course formal documentation has to be corporate-appropriate and PC, etc.... so for the improvement plan portion covering farting, we're going with "When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."

[WhiskeySandwich]

basically, get to work and try not to be disgusting.