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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

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    • GilesG
      Giles
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      Hahahahahaha

      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • neph93N
        neph93
        見習いボス
        @tody
        Joined:

        @tody you could probably find an area/city in the US (?) which would apply. I won’t show my ignorance and suggest one.

        “Some of those that work forces
        Are the same that burn crosses”

        • Virginia Woolf
        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • WhiskeySandwichW
          WhiskeySandwich
          啓蒙家
          Joined:

          I'm creating a performance improvement plan for one of my direct reports because he "talks too much and farts too loud and it's creating a distracting environment". 😑

          "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
          -Seneca

          last edited by Tago MagoT 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • GilesG
            Giles
            IHUK Crew
            Joined:

            hahahahahahaha

            I want to see the "Do not fart out-loud" part of that plan....

            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

            last edited by mclaincauseyM 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • Tago MagoT
              Tago Mago
              Mod Squad
              @WhiskeySandwich
              Joined:

              @WhiskeySandwich which of his two transgressions is causing the distraction?

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                Both are aural, one is olifactory as well......So I go for the fart....

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by Giles 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • GilesG
                  Giles
                  IHUK Crew
                  Joined:

                  And what exactly is the performance issue? That he can't talk and fart at the same time, therefore an inability to multi-task....

                  Oh, and whilst we are at it, would it be OK if his farts were silent?

                  😊

                  "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                  last edited by Giles 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • mclaincauseyM
                    mclaincausey
                    見習いボス
                    @Giles
                    Joined:

                    @Giles

                    Start chewing your food

                    No more beer

                    Reduce consumption of cabbage and cruciferous vegetables by 50% or more

                    If all else fails, go to the bathroom you absolute savage

                    Think it, be it.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • GilesG
                      Giles
                      IHUK Crew
                      Joined:

                      Cut out the curries....

                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • neph93N
                        neph93
                        見習いボス
                        @Jett129
                        Joined:

                        @Jett129 works too! 😂

                        “Some of those that work forces
                        Are the same that burn crosses”

                        • Virginia Woolf
                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • WhiskeySandwichW
                          WhiskeySandwich
                          啓蒙家
                          Joined:

                          LOL there are several issues going on. The employee has had several complaints - loud and excessively long conversations unrelated to work causing distractions, engaging in blatant and excessive entertainment media on the job (youtube usage), and as a result, just being slow to complete their work....and loud farting. All of which takes away from productivity of the employee and those around. There have been several complaints and several informal warnings and talks. Of course formal documentation has to be corporate-appropriate and PC, etc.... so for the improvement plan portion covering farting, we're going with "When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."

                          "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                          -Seneca

                          last edited by GilesG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • WhiskeySandwichW
                            WhiskeySandwich
                            啓蒙家
                            Joined:

                            basically, get to work and try not to be disgusting.

                            "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                            -Seneca

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • GilesG
                              Giles
                              IHUK Crew
                              @WhiskeySandwich
                              Joined:

                              @WhiskeySandwich said in Random Rants:

                              When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."

                              Inappropriate is a subjective thing. I'm guessing that in his circle of friends and family, he likely gets a high-five for an exceptionally loud bodily function.....🙄

                              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                              last edited by Tago MagoT WhiskeySandwichW 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Tago MagoT
                                Tago Mago
                                Mod Squad
                                @Giles
                                Joined:

                                @Giles my first thought upon reading this was that he likes to take a dump in the office potted plants...

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • WhiskeySandwichW
                                  WhiskeySandwich
                                  啓蒙家
                                  Joined:

                                  "inappropriate" IS subjective, yes. All those around him consider it inappropriate and have complained. I'd prefer to be more clear and tell him to leave the room when he does that shit, before he clears the room. I'll surely do this verbally though, and not on the official documentation.

                                  "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                                  -Seneca

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • GilesG
                                    Giles
                                    IHUK Crew
                                    Joined:

                                    😂😂😂😂😂

                                    "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • WhiskeySandwichW
                                      WhiskeySandwich
                                      啓蒙家
                                      Joined:

                                      Its one thing to rip all day into your seat cushion... if you can keep it under control. But to blast for glory....this isn't the place for that.

                                      "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                                      -Seneca

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                      • Tago MagoT
                                        Tago Mago
                                        Mod Squad
                                        Joined:

                                        the joys of working from home

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                        • WhiskeySandwichW
                                          WhiskeySandwich
                                          啓蒙家
                                          @Giles
                                          Joined:

                                          @Giles LOL i know i do 😉 but not at work

                                          "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                                          -Seneca

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • J
                                            Jett129
                                            見習いボス
                                            Joined:

                                            Flying home tomorrow and while I had a great trip,I’m dreading all the airplane stuff.

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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