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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

    General Chat
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    • madmondayM
      madmonday
      Raw and Unwashed
      Joined:

      most are taken from my daily life; they are not that funny when i'm in the middle of it  😠

      just f^ckin' with the lot of yous, but yeah my daily life is like an episode of Larry David in the hood 😉

      head high, middle finger higher

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • GilesG
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined:

        This is the last joke Geo told me.

        So, after they had been going out together for a few weeks, the girl plucked up the courage to ask her man how many women he had slept with.

        "Oh honey, I don't think I want to tell you that"
        "Oh go on, we're in love and I won't be jealous"
        "Oh, OK then.  Let me think; One, Two, Three, Four, Five, You, Seven, Eight…......."

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • madmondayM
          madmonday
          Raw and Unwashed
          Joined:

          classic Geo

          head high, middle finger higher

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • Megatron1505M
            Megatron1505
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            What do you call a cowboy with no legs?

            A low down dirty bum  😠

            Made in England, clothed in Japan, fed in America and drunk in Belgium !

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • alcatrazA
              alcatraz
              Joined:

              My uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist….

              I used to sit on his knee, he'd stick his fingers up my arse and would ask me not to say anything!!

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • madmondayM
                madmonday
                Raw and Unwashed
                Joined:

                damn shame really.

                hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

                head high, middle finger higher

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • alcatrazA
                  alcatraz
                  Joined:

                  Yeah it's ok thanks!!!

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • Finn666F
                    Finn666
                    Joined:

                    @madmonday:

                    damn shame really.

                    hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

                    i see, this is the actual joke… hahahah 😃

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • alcatrazA
                      alcatraz
                      Joined:

                      I recently treated my wife to one of those "fish pedicures" and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

                      Those piranhas don't fuck about!

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • GilesG
                        Giles
                        IHUK Crew
                        Joined:

                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • L
                          LandoCal126 0
                          Banned
                          Joined:

                          Just bought tickets to Artie Lange next month at Caroline's. Looking to possibly go on Sunday as well. If anyone is a fan and lives in or around NYC, PM me and we will roll.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Finn666F
                            Finn666
                            Joined:

                            sup Seul? ;D…

                            @Geo:

                            It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

                            It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

                            He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

                            I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

                            "what do you mean?" he said

                            "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

                            "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

                            I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

                            I said "what the hell happened to you?"

                            He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • hecticH
                              hectic
                              Joined:

                              Q: Why does Obama get hugs?

                              A: Because President Sarkozy

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Finn666F
                                Finn666
                                Joined:

                                too damn good… 😉

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • L
                                  LandoCal126 0
                                  Banned
                                  Joined:

                                  Barack Obama and Tonto went camping in the desert. After
                                  they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

                                  Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo
                                  bro, look towards sky, what you see?"

                                  Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."

                                  "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

                                  Obama pondered for a minute then said, "Astronomically
                                  speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and
                                  potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me
                                  that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be
                                  approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
                                  Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are
                                  small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
                                  have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

                                  Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means
                                  somebody stole the tent."

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • Finn666F
                                    Finn666
                                    Joined:

                                    i lol´d  😉 …although i like obama pretty much!

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • GilesG
                                      Giles
                                      IHUK Crew
                                      Joined:

                                      Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • Finn666F
                                        Finn666
                                        Joined:

                                        this is a great one G. …;D

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • L
                                          LandoCal126 0
                                          Banned
                                          Joined:

                                          @Giles:

                                          Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                          Hahahahaha, made me smile on a Friday AM. Thanks

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • GilesG
                                            Giles
                                            IHUK Crew
                                            Joined:

                                            I love the fact that when you tell it, the listener is waiting for more, then they realise that that's it…..

                                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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