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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

    General Chat
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    • derivative666D
      derivative666
      Joined:

      Outstanding, thanks for sharing

      "honorable mention to the bearded giant aka derivative666 for being a stand up dude & not changing with the seasons since i've been around these parts" Monday

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • madmondayM
        madmonday
        Raw and Unwashed
        Joined:

        most are taken from my daily life; they are not that funny when i'm in the middle of it  😠

        just f^ckin' with the lot of yous, but yeah my daily life is like an episode of Larry David in the hood 😉

        head high, middle finger higher

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • GilesG
          Giles
          IHUK Crew
          Joined:

          This is the last joke Geo told me.

          So, after they had been going out together for a few weeks, the girl plucked up the courage to ask her man how many women he had slept with.

          "Oh honey, I don't think I want to tell you that"
          "Oh go on, we're in love and I won't be jealous"
          "Oh, OK then.  Let me think; One, Two, Three, Four, Five, You, Seven, Eight…......."

          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • madmondayM
            madmonday
            Raw and Unwashed
            Joined:

            classic Geo

            head high, middle finger higher

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • Megatron1505M
              Megatron1505
              見習いボス
              Joined:

              What do you call a cowboy with no legs?

              A low down dirty bum  😠

              Made in England, clothed in Japan, fed in America and drunk in Belgium !

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • alcatrazA
                alcatraz
                Joined:

                My uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist….

                I used to sit on his knee, he'd stick his fingers up my arse and would ask me not to say anything!!

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • madmondayM
                  madmonday
                  Raw and Unwashed
                  Joined:

                  damn shame really.

                  hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

                  head high, middle finger higher

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • alcatrazA
                    alcatraz
                    Joined:

                    Yeah it's ok thanks!!!

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • Finn666F
                      Finn666
                      Joined:

                      @madmonday:

                      damn shame really.

                      hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

                      i see, this is the actual joke… hahahah 😃

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • alcatrazA
                        alcatraz
                        Joined:

                        I recently treated my wife to one of those "fish pedicures" and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

                        Those piranhas don't fuck about!

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • GilesG
                          Giles
                          IHUK Crew
                          Joined:

                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • L
                            LandoCal126 0
                            Banned
                            Joined:

                            Just bought tickets to Artie Lange next month at Caroline's. Looking to possibly go on Sunday as well. If anyone is a fan and lives in or around NYC, PM me and we will roll.

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Finn666F
                              Finn666
                              Joined:

                              sup Seul? ;D…

                              @Geo:

                              It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

                              It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

                              He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

                              I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

                              "what do you mean?" he said

                              "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

                              "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

                              I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

                              I said "what the hell happened to you?"

                              He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • hecticH
                                hectic
                                Joined:

                                Q: Why does Obama get hugs?

                                A: Because President Sarkozy

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • Finn666F
                                  Finn666
                                  Joined:

                                  too damn good… 😉

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • L
                                    LandoCal126 0
                                    Banned
                                    Joined:

                                    Barack Obama and Tonto went camping in the desert. After
                                    they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

                                    Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo
                                    bro, look towards sky, what you see?"

                                    Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."

                                    "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

                                    Obama pondered for a minute then said, "Astronomically
                                    speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and
                                    potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me
                                    that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be
                                    approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
                                    Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are
                                    small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
                                    have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

                                    Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means
                                    somebody stole the tent."

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • Finn666F
                                      Finn666
                                      Joined:

                                      i lol´d  😉 …although i like obama pretty much!

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • GilesG
                                        Giles
                                        IHUK Crew
                                        Joined:

                                        Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • Finn666F
                                          Finn666
                                          Joined:

                                          this is a great one G. …;D

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • L
                                            LandoCal126 0
                                            Banned
                                            Joined:

                                            @Giles:

                                            Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                            Hahahahaha, made me smile on a Friday AM. Thanks

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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