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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • GilesG
      Giles
      IHUK Crew
      Joined:

      This is the last joke Geo told me.

      So, after they had been going out together for a few weeks, the girl plucked up the courage to ask her man how many women he had slept with.

      "Oh honey, I don't think I want to tell you that"
      "Oh go on, we're in love and I won't be jealous"
      "Oh, OK then.  Let me think; One, Two, Three, Four, Five, You, Seven, Eight…......."

      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • madmondayM
        madmonday
        Raw and Unwashed
        Joined:

        classic Geo

        head high, middle finger higher

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Megatron1505M
          Megatron1505
          見習いボス
          Joined:

          What do you call a cowboy with no legs?

          A low down dirty bum  😠

          Made in England, clothed in Japan, fed in America and drunk in Belgium !

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • alcatrazA
            alcatraz
            Joined:

            My uncle was a rubbish ventriloquist….

            I used to sit on his knee, he'd stick his fingers up my arse and would ask me not to say anything!!

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • madmondayM
              madmonday
              Raw and Unwashed
              Joined:

              damn shame really.

              hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

              head high, middle finger higher

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • alcatrazA
                alcatraz
                Joined:

                Yeah it's ok thanks!!!

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Finn666F
                  Finn666
                  Joined:

                  @madmonday:

                  damn shame really.

                  hope your bum is better . . . HAhehehehAhe

                  i see, this is the actual joke… hahahah 😃

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                  • alcatrazA
                    alcatraz
                    Joined:

                    I recently treated my wife to one of those "fish pedicures" and I must say I was very pleased with the result.

                    Those piranhas don't fuck about!

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • GilesG
                      Giles
                      IHUK Crew
                      Joined:

                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • L
                        LandoCal126 0
                        Banned
                        Joined:

                        Just bought tickets to Artie Lange next month at Caroline's. Looking to possibly go on Sunday as well. If anyone is a fan and lives in or around NYC, PM me and we will roll.

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                        • Finn666F
                          Finn666
                          Joined:

                          sup Seul? ;D…

                          @Geo:

                          It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

                          It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

                          He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

                          I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

                          "what do you mean?" he said

                          "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

                          "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

                          I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

                          I said "what the hell happened to you?"

                          He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

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                          • hecticH
                            hectic
                            Joined:

                            Q: Why does Obama get hugs?

                            A: Because President Sarkozy

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                            • Finn666F
                              Finn666
                              Joined:

                              too damn good… 😉

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • L
                                LandoCal126 0
                                Banned
                                Joined:

                                Barack Obama and Tonto went camping in the desert. After
                                they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.

                                Some hours later, Tonto woke the president and said, "Kemo
                                bro, look towards sky, what you see?"

                                Obama replied, "I see millions of stars."

                                "What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

                                Obama pondered for a minute then said, "Astronomically
                                speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and
                                potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me
                                that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be
                                approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
                                Theologically, Mother Nature is all-powerful and we are
                                small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will
                                have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"

                                Tonto says, "Obama, you dumber than buffalo shit. It means
                                somebody stole the tent."

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                                • Finn666F
                                  Finn666
                                  Joined:

                                  i lol´d  😉 …although i like obama pretty much!

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • GilesG
                                    Giles
                                    IHUK Crew
                                    Joined:

                                    Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                    "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

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                                    • Finn666F
                                      Finn666
                                      Joined:

                                      this is a great one G. …;D

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • L
                                        LandoCal126 0
                                        Banned
                                        Joined:

                                        @Giles:

                                        Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business…...

                                        Hahahahaha, made me smile on a Friday AM. Thanks

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • GilesG
                                          Giles
                                          IHUK Crew
                                          Joined:

                                          I love the fact that when you tell it, the listener is waiting for more, then they realise that that's it…..

                                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • L
                                            LandoCal126 0
                                            Banned
                                            Joined:

                                            Yeah. Cliffhanger for sure.  ::) I started laughing before I finished reading. Still laughing actually.

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