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    • Tago MagoT
      Tago Mago
      Mod Squad
      @WhiskeySandwich
      Joined:

      @WhiskeySandwich which of his two transgressions is causing the distraction?

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • GilesG
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined:

        Both are aural, one is olifactory as well......So I go for the fart....

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by Giles 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • GilesG
          Giles
          IHUK Crew
          Joined:

          And what exactly is the performance issue? That he can't talk and fart at the same time, therefore an inability to multi-task....

          Oh, and whilst we are at it, would it be OK if his farts were silent?

          😊

          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

          last edited by Giles 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • mclaincauseyM
            mclaincausey
            見習いボス
            @Giles
            Joined:

            @Giles

            Start chewing your food

            No more beer

            Reduce consumption of cabbage and cruciferous vegetables by 50% or more

            If all else fails, go to the bathroom you absolute savage

            Think it, be it.

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • GilesG
              Giles
              IHUK Crew
              Joined:

              Cut out the curries....

              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • neph93N
                neph93
                見習いボス
                @Jett129
                Joined:

                @Jett129 works too! 😂

                “Some of those that work forces
                Are the same that burn crosses”

                • Virginia Woolf
                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • WhiskeySandwichW
                  WhiskeySandwich
                  啓蒙家
                  Joined:

                  LOL there are several issues going on. The employee has had several complaints - loud and excessively long conversations unrelated to work causing distractions, engaging in blatant and excessive entertainment media on the job (youtube usage), and as a result, just being slow to complete their work....and loud farting. All of which takes away from productivity of the employee and those around. There have been several complaints and several informal warnings and talks. Of course formal documentation has to be corporate-appropriate and PC, etc.... so for the improvement plan portion covering farting, we're going with "When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."

                  "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                  -Seneca

                  last edited by GilesG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • WhiskeySandwichW
                    WhiskeySandwich
                    啓蒙家
                    Joined:

                    basically, get to work and try not to be disgusting.

                    "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                    -Seneca

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • GilesG
                      Giles
                      IHUK Crew
                      @WhiskeySandwich
                      Joined:

                      @WhiskeySandwich said in Random Rants:

                      When possible, excuse yourself during the execution of bodily functions that may be distracting or considered inappropriate."

                      Inappropriate is a subjective thing. I'm guessing that in his circle of friends and family, he likely gets a high-five for an exceptionally loud bodily function.....🙄

                      "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                      last edited by Tago MagoT WhiskeySandwichW 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Tago MagoT
                        Tago Mago
                        Mod Squad
                        @Giles
                        Joined:

                        @Giles my first thought upon reading this was that he likes to take a dump in the office potted plants...

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                        • WhiskeySandwichW
                          WhiskeySandwich
                          啓蒙家
                          Joined:

                          "inappropriate" IS subjective, yes. All those around him consider it inappropriate and have complained. I'd prefer to be more clear and tell him to leave the room when he does that shit, before he clears the room. I'll surely do this verbally though, and not on the official documentation.

                          "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                          -Seneca

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • GilesG
                            Giles
                            IHUK Crew
                            Joined:

                            😂😂😂😂😂

                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • WhiskeySandwichW
                              WhiskeySandwich
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined:

                              Its one thing to rip all day into your seat cushion... if you can keep it under control. But to blast for glory....this isn't the place for that.

                              "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                              -Seneca

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                              • Tago MagoT
                                Tago Mago
                                Mod Squad
                                Joined:

                                the joys of working from home

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                • WhiskeySandwichW
                                  WhiskeySandwich
                                  啓蒙家
                                  @Giles
                                  Joined:

                                  @Giles LOL i know i do 😉 but not at work

                                  "The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today...The whole future lies in uncertainty: Live immediately."
                                  -Seneca

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • J
                                    Jett129
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    Flying home tomorrow and while I had a great trip,I’m dreading all the airplane stuff.

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • steelworkerS
                                      steelworker
                                      見習いボス
                                      @Giles
                                      Joined:

                                      @Giles said in Random Rants:

                                      In hindsight, there were so many ways I could have handled it better, that is, make him look like an even more complete cunt, but in the heat of the moment, I failed....

                                      Staring down a yapper without giving him the dignity of a reply thats master class shit there Giles.
                                      Too bad you couldnt put a wesco on his armrest

                                      Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                                      Well, I have others.

                                      last edited by steelworker 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • goosehdG
                                        goosehd
                                        Mod Squad
                                        Joined:

                                        My little brother had a melanoma removed from his nose today. They had to take a pretty good chunk to get good margins.

                                        Sucks when it’s family, sucks when he’s younger than you, sucks in general!

                                        Fuck cancer!!

                                        "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                        last edited by goosehd WhiskeySandwichW mclaincauseyM iamjustdannyI 3 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                        • popvultureP
                                          popvulture
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          Man, sorry to hear that @goosehd! Glad they got it, though.

                                          WTB
                                          IHSH-IHG-BLK XXL
                                          Sugar Cane Coke Stripe SS L charcoal

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                                          • goosehdG
                                            goosehd
                                            Mod Squad
                                            Joined:

                                            In my heart I agree, in my mind I hope they did. Melanoma is a sneaky s.o.b.

                                            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                            last edited by ROmanR 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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