Random Announcements
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@Seul said in Random Announcements:
I've was afraid someone'd have a story of a fella who stuffed a rabbit up 'is arse like some perverted magician
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“Ninty-six percent of the patients required extraction while one passed spontaneously.“
The object or the patient…? 🫢 -
@steelworker said in Random Announcements:
…last week it was a Minolta and telephoto lens. Sadly none of the photos came out…that’s because you need to use a wide angle.
@Giles Interesting read and I raised an eyebrow on two things:
- The dentures and I’m glad I read the entire study to understand that one.
- The earliest recorded incident was the 16th century. Gotta be proud of our ancestors, but I bet it goes back a little further than that.
@neph93 @Seul Glad to see you two joined the party, but you know rabbits are passé, gerbils is where it’s at.
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Ok, I've got one more, told to me by a junior undertaker sat beside me at the barbers once. Sounds like it should have made it into the Darwin Awards.
So he was called out to collect a corpse. The undertakers get to the house, and the policeman attending says "you won't believe this one" as they go in. The guy had been upstairs and had managed to insert a long, cylindrical fish tank light up his todger, presumably for the purposes of self eroticism. He left it plugged into the mains electricity though, and managed to give himself an electric shock and cause the fuse box to trip. His wife had been sat downstairs watching TV when the power cut out, and went upstairs to find him with a wire coming out of his member, plugged into the wall, dead. He was still in this state when the undertakers got there.
Take the dive...
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@EdH said in Random Announcements:
and went upstairs to find him with a wire coming out of his member, plugged into the wall, dead
But he had a nice affro.....
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Just kicked myself. I should've asked whether they:
a) unplugged the fish-light and took it with the corpse;
b) cut the wire and left the Mrs with the cord; or
c) removed it from the corpse. -
The thing I can't wrap my head around is, Where are you getting your haircut @EdH? Normal small talk in the barbershops that I've been to is: weather related, sports related, political b.s., not hey did you hear about the guy who shoved the light up his todger...
"I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)
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Since we are on a string of greatest hits:
Working in Veterinary Medicine has quite a few good stories to share and this is one of my favourites:
A wife showed up to the hospital to pick up the family dog from having a foreign body removed from its intestines as this can be quite lethal to a dog if it can't be passed naturally. When the wife came to pick up the dog, the normal question was asked: What did the dog eat as she truly had no idea what happened and the husband had taken the dog for the weekend to the hunting camp...
The surgeon who performed the surgery replied that it was a pair of thong panties, which she replied that's impossible as I don't wear thong panties. The surgeon said well we saved them if you want to see them. He went into the back and pulled out a ziplock baggie with the evidence in hand.
The end of the story is that she ended up with the house and the dog...for being such a good boy!!
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@goosehd It started as smalltalk. "What do you do?" led to "I'm an undertaker" to "holy hell, that's unusual", and so on.
