Random Rants
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Get out of shower, Mrs H hands me Baby H, says "hold her for a minute" and heads to the other bathroom. Baby nuzzles into my chest and proceeds to vomit all over both of us. Cleaning baby while dripping vomit. Have to have a second shower, late for work now, had to leave wife to clean up vomity areas.
What kind of evolution would produce young that can't hold their liquids?
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I feel you @EdH - Happy Millie needs changing, I take her to changing station, she proceeds to have a full blown meltdown, squirming as much as possible, then spews over every piece of clothing she's wearing and mine, so needs full change while still proceeding to almost throw herself off the changing station. Danni is confused as to why she is now stressed, holds Millie and she is suddenly happy again
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I feel for you guys! My worst incident was I was holding my daughter over my head and she was laughing and truly enjoying it. I of course was making some random noises kids love to hear and laugh at, when out of the blue…she vomited directly into my mouth, all over my face, and all over my clothes.
I was just trying to keep her happy while mom took a shower and that we could go out for a quick bite to eat. Mom gets out of the shower and no one is happy anymore. Took about 5-10 minutes in total for the world to melt down…
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Baby H hates me changing her nappy. She waits for that crucial moment when I'm done wiping, move the old nappy out the way, and just before I get the new nappy in place she'll explosively propel pee and shart all up the wall. She's done it to me 3 times now. She's yet to do that trick for Mrs H.
Small mercy that her changing station is sideways on from her changer, so at least she doesn't get me!
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Kids are a trip and you guys are cracking me up. We had one that had reflux so he spit up constantly which was actually preferable because you knew it was coming all the time. My daughter was stealthy and would surprise you with it…much worse. Thanks for starting my day with some laughs and fond (ish) memories!
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@goosehd I should have clarified - she got me the first time with her sharting trick when I was coming in with the new nappy. Managed to get the back of my hand, but thankfully the cuff of my shirt sleeve was rolled up.
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rookie mistakes. you should always have a nappy locked, loaded and ready to swap.
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Yes, I'm dreading the teenage years, particularly with a girl. When we found out the sex, I stepped out of the clinic to a hot summer's day, and suddenly had a whole new perspective on all the young women walking around in those nude-coloured lycra hotpants that go right up the bum, which suddenly seemed to be everywhere I looked...
I resolved to try and instill a devout admiration for Wednesday Addams and her dress sense in my daughter.
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Son’s or Nun’s has been my goal for kids.
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@Matt Anywhere around Cheltenham town centre when the temperature is touching 35-40 degrees Celsius will do you just fine. (Don't ask me to translate that to your nonsensical Fahrenheit scale.)
Parking can be a bugger in Cheltenham, you might have to check a few locations to find a space, but there are plenty of options.
I'd lose the beard - they're somewhat loosely associated with what we British like to call a "nonce".
