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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • J
      Jett129
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      Great joke!!!

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • GilesG
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined:

        Boom….

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • bryaneidins70B
          bryaneidins70
          Iron Heart Deity
          Joined:

          'Fail we may…Sail we must'

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • J
            Jett129
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            One of my all time favorite jokes. I tell a little bit different version,but the punchline is the same.

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • organisysO
              organisys
              Raw and Unwashed
              Joined:

              😃

              Pride of Japan :-)

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                I may have posted this one before, if so, I'm not even sorry… 😃 😃 😃 😃

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • J
                  Jett129
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  Love that joke,makes me laugh every time.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • motojoboboM
                    motojobobo
                    啓蒙家
                    Joined:

                    The journey is the objective.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • J
                      Jett129
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      Any Mitch Hedberg fans?

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • J
                        Jett129
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        This is from his last set before the lockdown in March.

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • motojoboboM
                          motojobobo
                          啓蒙家
                          Joined:

                          Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time & decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to
                          share office space…

                          Dr.Smith was a psychiatrist & Dr.Jones
                          was a Proctologist (related to colon, anus)

                          They put up a sign reading
                          Dr.Smith & Dr.Jones
                          Hysterias & Posteriors

                          The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

                          So, the docs changed
                          it to read
                          Schizoids & Haemorrhoids

                          This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to
                          Catatonics and High Colonics

                          • no go.

                          Next, they tried...
                          Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives

                          • thumbs down again.

                          Then came..
                          Minds and Behinds

                          • still no good.

                          Another attempt resulted in...
                          Lost Souls & Butt Holes
                          -unacceptable again!

                          So they tried
                          Analysis & Anal Cysts

                          • not a chance

                          Nuts and Butts

                          • no way

                          Freaks and Cheeks

                          • still no good

                          Loons and Moons

                          • forget it!

                          Almost at their wits end, the docs finally came up with:
                          Dr.Smith & Dr.Jones
                          Specializing in Odds & Ends.

                          Everyone loved it.

                          The journey is the objective.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • J
                            Jett129
                            見習いボス
                            Joined:

                            Great joke. Read it as fast as I could to get to the worthwhile punchline.

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • GilesG
                              Giles
                              IHUK Crew
                              Joined:

                              Yeah, me too…..

                              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Y
                                Yogi217
                                Joined:

                                That was worth it. Thank you

                                Sent from my SM-N975U1 using Tapatalk

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • J
                                    Jett129
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • J
                                      Jett129
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      Couldn’t resist…

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • J
                                        Jett129
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        @Giles Saw this and thought of you… 

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • steelworkerS
                                          steelworker
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          Those are my principles, and if you don't like them…
                                          Well, I have others.

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • goosehdG
                                            goosehd
                                            Mod Squad
                                            Joined:

                                            First, God created the donkey.
                                            God said to the donkey:

                                            • 'You are a donkey. You will toil and drag all day long and be called stupid in the head. You will live for 20 years. '
                                              The donkey replied:
                                            • 'Wow then, it does not sound like a good life. Can we not say that I will only be 5 years old? '
                                              God accepted the donkey's proposal.
                                              –-------------------
                                              Then God created the dog.
                                              God said:
                                            • 'You shall be called a dog, live a life of submission, eat leftovers from the dinner table and guard the house. You will live for 35 years. '
                                              The dog said:
                                            • 'Oops, it might not be that fun. Can't I just be 15 years old instead? '
                                              God accepted the dog's suggestion.

                                            Then God created the parrot
                                            God said:

                                            • 'You're called a parrot. You will sit in a corner and repeat everything that is said, to the great annoyance of everyone. You will be 75 years old. '
                                              The parrot wondered:
                                            • 'It sounds very monotonous ... Can't we just say 50 years?'
                                              God accepted the parrot's suggestion.

                                            In the end, God created man.
                                            God said:

                                            • 'You are a man, a man! You should have a good life. You are wise and intelligent, so you will decide in this world. You will be 20 years old. '
                                              The man replied:
                                            • 'It sounds like a really good life, but can it not be a little longer?'
                                              (Now the man shows for the first time a test of his intelligence ..)
                                            • 'Can't I have those 15 years that the donkey did not want, the 20 that the dog refused, and the 25 that were left over from the parrot as well?'
                                              God accepted the man's proposal.

                                            Therefore, the man lives a wonderful life until he turns 20 years old. Then he gets married, to toil and drag for 15 years and be called stupid in the head.
                                            Then he has to completely submit to the needs of the rest of the family, live on leftovers from the table and guard the house for 20 years. For the last 25
                                            years of his life, he sits in a corner and repeats everything that people say, to the great annoyance of everyone around him ...

                                            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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