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Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

That's Jokes

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  • G
    goosehd
    Mod Squad
    @steelworker
    Joined: 8 Apr 2016

    …and this one was also good.

    @steelworker said in That's Jokes:

    A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "get the fuck outta here."

    "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

    last edited by 5 Dec 2024, 15:18 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • G
      goosehd
      Mod Squad
      @Tago Mago
      Joined: 8 Apr 2016

      @Tago-Mago you do realize that we are going to pay for this in our meeting next week…

      "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

      last edited by 5 Dec 2024, 15:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • G
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined: 22 Sept 2009

        Oh yeah, that's far better than I remembered

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 5 Dec 2024, 15:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
        • J
          Jett129
          見習いボス
          @IrishHeart
          Joined: 17 Aug 2011

          @IrishHeart I definitely read the subtitles.

          last edited by 5 Dec 2024, 17:42 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • E
            EdH
            Iron Heart Deity
            Joined: 2 Jan 2022

            Don't think about this one too hard - especially if you work in an office - or you'll probably end up crying.

            Two economists are walking in the countryside when they come upon a humongous cow pat. The first, feeling mean for a moment, says "Hey, I dare you to eat that pile of shit for £100."

            The second economist recalls that he chose to go into academia and could use every spare pound he can get his hands on, so he agrees to the dare, gets down on his knees, and chows down.

            They continue their hike when they happen upon another cow pat. The second economist decides to get his own back. "Hey, I dare you to eat that pile of shit for £100."

            The first economist considers that the sight of watching the second eat the first pile of shit wasn't as rewarding as he had expected, and he is feeling loss aversion for his spent £100. So he agrees, gets down on his knees, and gobbles up the shit.

            They continue walking and the first economist says: "Hey, I gave you the £100 that you gave straight back to me, but we both ate shit. I feel like we achieved less than nothing."

            "Don't you remember your training?" replies the second. "Between us, we increased GDP in the service sector by a whole £200!"

            Take the dive...

            last edited by EdH 12 Jun 2024, 11:23 6 Dec 2024, 11:23 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
            • J
              Jett129
              見習いボス
              Joined: 17 Aug 2011

              My son recently turned me on to Randy Feltface.

              last edited by 10 Dec 2024, 00:54 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • T
                T4920
                見習いボス
                Joined: 27 Apr 2022

                Finally got round to watching the new Jeselnik special. That was a blast, and definitely the most I've enjoy his work.

                The Kanye West bit had me my the balls.

                “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                last edited by 10 Dec 2024, 19:57 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • J
                  Jett129
                  見習いボス
                  Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                  @T4920 @Mizmazzle

                  last edited by 10 Dec 2024, 20:39 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                  • M
                    Matt
                    見習いボス
                    Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                    Just finished Bones and All. Hilarious.

                    last edited by 12 Dec 2024, 02:33 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                    • T
                      T4920
                      見習いボス
                      Joined: 27 Apr 2022

                      With every new Special, Sam Morrill cements himself as my favourite working comic today. 'You've Changed' on Amazon Prime was so damn good, with one of the best closing jokes I've heard in years.

                      “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                      last edited by 12 Dec 2024, 20:00 J 2 Replies Last reply 12 Dec 2024, 20:45 Reply Quote 1
                      • J
                        Jett129
                        見習いボス
                        @T4920
                        Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                        @T4920 I think Sam Merrill is second to none when it comes to crowd work,and I find myself waiting for him to get into it while he’s doing his jokes. Have to check that special as I don’t remember his closer. He’s been popping up at The Comedy Cellar in NYC as of late. Would love to catch him doing a set.

                        last edited by 12 Dec 2024, 20:45 T 1 Reply Last reply 12 Dec 2024, 20:54 Reply Quote 1
                        • T
                          T4920
                          見習いボス
                          @Jett129
                          Joined: 27 Apr 2022

                          @Jett129 something about these New York guys that just resonates with me... him and Ari Shaffir are my two favourites.

                          “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                          last edited by 12 Dec 2024, 20:54 D 1 Reply Last reply 19 Dec 2024, 17:57 Reply Quote 1
                          • M
                            Mizmazzle
                            見習いボス
                            Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                            Sam Morill is coming to Denver soon. He’s def a top guy for me too.

                            Jim Jefferies is also coming. Have tix for that in January. He is a top 3 for me.

                            In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                            last edited by 12 Dec 2024, 22:12 J 1 Reply Last reply 13 Dec 2024, 00:22 Reply Quote 1
                            • J
                              Jett129
                              見習いボス
                              @Mizmazzle
                              Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                              @Mizmazzle Gary Vider usually opens for Sam Morrill,and I like him a lot. A great double bill. Jeselnik is my absolute favorite,and after him it's kind of like my IH jeans rotation,which is seasonal.

                              last edited by 13 Dec 2024, 00:22 M 1 Reply Last reply 13 Dec 2024, 00:27 Reply Quote 1
                              • M
                                Mizmazzle
                                見習いボス
                                @Jett129
                                Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                @Jett129 yeah. Vider is great. I should snag up some of those Morill tickets.

                                In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                last edited by 13 Dec 2024, 00:27 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                                  last edited by 13 Dec 2024, 00:44 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • J
                                    Jett129
                                    見習いボス
                                    @T4920
                                    Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                                    @T4920 said in That's Jokes:

                                    With every new Special, Sam Morrill cements himself as my favourite working comic today. 'You've Changed' on Amazon Prime was so damn good, with one of the best closing jokes I've heard in years.

                                    Went back and rewatched most of it and,you’re right his closer is great.

                                    last edited by 13 Dec 2024, 01:44 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • S
                                      scooter
                                      啓蒙家
                                      Joined: 26 Dec 2015

                                      Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                                      last edited by 17 Dec 2024, 23:07 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                      • T
                                        T4920
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined: 27 Apr 2022

                                        Loved Hassan Minaj's new special. The whole bit on 'Black America', 'White America' and 'The various shades of Beige-istan' really tickled me.

                                        Had never seen his stand up before this, but was really impressed with the balance he stuck between crowd work and the continued narrative of the show itself.

                                        “𝑁𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑒𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑢𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑏 𝑦𝑜𝑢. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑚𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝑖𝑡, 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑡𝑜, 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑤𝑒𝑎𝑝𝑜𝑛𝑠 𝑜𝑓 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑜𝑛 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑒𝑛𝑡.”

                                        last edited by 18 Dec 2024, 09:58 M 1 Reply Last reply 19 Dec 2024, 17:28 Reply Quote 0
                                        • M
                                          Mizmazzle
                                          見習いボス
                                          @T4920
                                          Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                          @T4920 I agree. I haven't seen his newest special, but i've seen two of his older ones. He does a fantastic job of maintaining comedy while delving into some great social commentary. I love a comedian who can strike that balance.

                                          Do you know who Roy Wood Jr. is? He is another guy who expertly tells poignant stories about social injustice with incredible humor. He's one of my favorites.

                                          In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                          last edited by 19 Dec 2024, 17:28 T 1 Reply Last reply 19 Dec 2024, 17:53 Reply Quote 3
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