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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

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    • J
      Jett129
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      This is really funny.   

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • B
        bunbut
        Haraki san Student
        Joined:

        Many years ago able to see Adam Sandler one man show in my school.  He was very funny.

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • goosehdG
          goosehd
          Mod Squad
          Joined:

          Grabbed this from another forum and wanted to share.

          How Crypto's Work

          How Crypto Currency works… an analogy in layman’s terms.

          Not long ago a merchant found a lot of monkeys that lived near a certain Village. One day he came to the Village saying he wanted to buy these monkeys. He announced that he would buy the monkeys at $100 each.

          The Villagers thought that this man must be crazy. How can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?

          Still some People caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant, and he gave $100 for each monkey.

          This news spread like wildfire and People caught monkeys and sold them to the merchant.

          After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys at $200 each.

          The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys. They sold the remaining monkeys at $200 each.

          The merchant then announced that he will buy monkeys for $500 each.

          The villagers start to lose sleep. They caught six or seven monkeys which was all that was left and got $500 each.

          The Villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.

          Then the merchant announced that he is going on holiday for a week, but when he returns, he will buy monkeys at $1000 each! He also said that his employee will be in charge and would take care of the monkeys he bought pending his return.

          The Merchant went on holiday.

          The Villagers were frantic and very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell at $1000 each as was promised by the Merchant.

          Then the Merchant’s Employee contacted them and told them that he would secretly sell them some monkeys at $700 each.

          The news spread like wildfire. As the Merchant promised on his return that he would buy monkeys at $1000 each, they would achieve a $300 profit for each monkey. The next day the Villagers queued up near the Monkey Cage.

          The Employee sold all the monkeys at $700 each. The rich bought monkeys in large lots. The poor borrowed money from money lenders and bought the rest of the monkeys.

          The Villagers took care of their monkeys and waited for the Merchant to return. However, nobody came! Then they ran to find the Employee. However, he was not to be found.

          The Villagers then realized that they have been duped buying the useless stray monkeys at $700 each and were now unable to sell them.

          This Monkey Business is now known as Bitcoin!

          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
          • MattM
            Matt
            見習いボス
            Joined:

            Joke:  What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

            Answer:  A pineapple

            My 9 year old:  A crapple

            Both are acceptable.

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • GilesG
              Giles
              IHUK Crew
              Joined:

              I prefer Crapple….

              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • MattM
                Matt
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                Obviously.

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • J
                  Jett129
                  見習いボス
                  Joined:

                  @Matt:

                  Joke:  What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

                  Answer:  A pineapple

                  My 9 year old:  A crapple

                  Both are acceptable.

                  @Matt How about this one.  How much did Santa have to pay to park his sleigh?      Nothing…It was on the House!

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • motojoboboM
                    motojobobo
                    啓蒙家
                    Joined:

                    Good one @Jett129 !!!

                    The journey is the objective.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • endoE
                      endo
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

                      Frostbite.

                      si tacuisses

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • endoE
                        endo
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        si tacuisses

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • J
                          Jett129
                          見習いボス
                          Joined:

                          Mine goes to 11! If you haven’t seen Spinal Tap this probably won’t be funny! 

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • EdHE
                            EdH
                            Iron Heart Deity
                            Joined:

                            A middle aged British guy is on a business trip to the USA. Being away from the wife and kids, he decides to be naughty and head out to the local red light district one night. He quickly finds a brothel, and heads inside.

                            All the girls are enamoured with his accent and foreign ways. The madam decides to put a stop to the gaggle of girls, who are ignoring other punters, and asks the Brit to sit down in the corner and she'll send a girl over.

                            First she sends over one of her newest girls; she needs more experience, and where better to get it than from a foreign gent! The girl heads over, they chat for a bit, she giggles flirtatiously, then sits on his lap. The Brit leans in and whispers in her ear. "No way, I'm not doing that!" she yells, and quickly runs away from him.

                            The madam realises the Brit must have foreign tastes that are a bit risque, so she sends over a girl who's been around a bit longer. Again, they chat, he makes her giggle, she sits on his lap, and then the Brit whispers in her ear. "Get fucked!" the girl says to him, venomously, before leaving him alone.

                            A man whose tastes are as eclectic as this guy's are needs the madam's most experienced hooker, she thinks… so she sends in Lola, who has never refused anything. Lola goes up to the Brit, they chat, he makes her giggle, and Lola sits on his lap. The Brit whispers in Lola's ear. "No way asshole" says Lola, slapping him hard across the face before leaving him sat there alone.

                            Now the madam is intrigued. What must this guy be into that even Lola refused? While she hasn't done any bedroom work for a while, the madam decides that she alone has the years of experience required to satisfy this guy. So she heads in.

                            They chat for a while, the Brit tells a saucy joke which makes the madam genuinely laugh, and she too sits on his lap afterwards. The Brit leans in to whisper in her ear:

                            "Can I pay in pounds?"

                            Take the dive...

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • GilesG
                              Giles
                              IHUK Crew
                              Joined:

                              Absolutely brilliant…..

                              "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • EdHE
                                EdH
                                Iron Heart Deity
                                Joined:

                                Thought you'd like that one @Giles, I thought it had a similar appeal to the "best pub" joke…

                                Take the dive...

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • GilesG
                                  Giles
                                  IHUK Crew
                                  Joined:

                                  Which is still my fave….

                                  "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • endoE
                                    endo
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined:

                                    no joke, real life

                                    si tacuisses

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • ARNCA
                                      ARNC
                                      啓蒙家
                                      Joined:

                                      @endo I thought someone else would have bitten by now. As they haven’t, I’ll do the necessary:

                                      I have never felt the need to comment on my complete lack of interest in sports cars until now  😃

                                      “Every day that you survive you get a free sunset“

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • endoE
                                        endo
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined:

                                        😃 @ARNC

                                        si tacuisses

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • goosehdG
                                          goosehd
                                          Mod Squad
                                          Joined:

                                          @ARNC  😃 😃 Well played, well played…

                                          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • GilesG
                                            Giles
                                            IHUK Crew
                                            Joined:

                                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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