That's Jokes
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voted top 10 jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe 2019
Dave’s 10 funniest jokes of the 2019 fringe. I hope you find a couple to brighten your day…
1. I keep randomly shouting out “Broccoli” and “Cauliflower”. I think I might have Florets. – Olaf Falafel
2. Someone stole my antidepressants. Whoever they are, I hope they’re happy. – Richard Stott
3. What’s driving Brexit? From here it looks like it’s probably the Duke of Edinburgh. – Milton Jones
4. A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. I said, “Yes, of course. That’s 20 cows.” – Jake Lambert
5. A thesaurus is great. There’s no other word for it. – Ross Smith
6. Sleep is my favourite thing in the world. It’s the reason I get up in the morning. – Ross Smith
7. I accidentally booked myself on to an escapology course; I’m really struggling to get out of it. – Adele Cliff
8. After learning six hours of basic semaphore, I was flagging. – Richard Pulsford
9. To be or not to be a horse rider, that is Equestrian. – Mark Simmons
10. I’ve got an Eton-themed advent calendar, where all the doors are opened for me by my dad’s contacts. – Ivo Graham
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Vest not go there…
(What d'ya call an exclusive IH area at a graveyard?.. A V.I.P. - Vest In Peace...)
Two for the price of one? Cheers to that…
https://www.instagram.com/p/BZJSlGUlnT5/?igshid=1prybzuac50l6 -
Why can't we be more like Greece, France, or any number of Central American countries? We only tend to riot when there is a JD Sports, H Samuel's, or Curry's PC World in the area worth looting. Bring back the 2010 riots… That will shock the middle classes from their apathy. Maybe. Cancel Strictly Come Dancing. That will make people take to the streets. Anton for PM.
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One of my favourites jokes of all time..
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https://www.net-a-porter.com/gb/en/product/1059637?gclsrc=aw.ds&cm_mmc=Google-ProductSearch-UK–c--NAP_EN_UK_PLA--NAP%C2%A0-%C2%A0UK%C2%A0-%C2%A0GS%C2%A0-+Designer+-+Class_Shoes+-+Type_Sandals%C2%A0-%C2%A0High%C2%A0-%C2%A0CSS--Sandal+-+Flat_INTL&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIvu-smaqN5gIVF-DtCh0Spw__EAQYBiABEgLhWvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
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Haha Nice! Kind of defeats the whole point of sandals doesn't it? Only 615 pounds too!
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[emoji23]
I briefly tried dressing my son in a denim tux and he absolutely hated it.
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