That's Jokes
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Piece of string goes into a bar, orders a beer and the barman says "Sorry, but read the notice - we don't serve string here. I need to ask you to leave" The string protests, but the barman just points to the door.
Next day the piece of string thinks "I'll get served this time" - and puts on a pair of dark glasses and heads back into the bar.
Straight away the barman says "You can't fool me, you're that piece of string I threw out yesterday - so GO!"
The string is now really mad at not getting served so he goes outside, throws away the glasses, loops himself into a loop, ruffles his top end and goes straight back into the bar and orders a beer.
The barman says "Do you think I'm crazy? You're that piece of string that had the dark glasses aren't you?" and the string says "No, I'm afraid not . . ."
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hahahahah a frayed knot!
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Thought this would be ideal for this time of year
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Nice, like that sketch.
I just googled "world's best joke", apparently it is this:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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This is a good Russian joke that I like (you can substitute any names you like of course):
"An intelligence test was conducted among the OMON (Russian Special forces) involving various sized round holes and square pegs. The conclusion states that the OMON can be divided into two groups: very dumb and VERY strong…"
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One of my favorites is truly horrible:
Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
As I said, truly horrible.
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One of my favorites is truly horrible:
Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
As I said, truly horrible.
This is just as good as my simple favorite joke:
Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead
Then you have the dead guy series:
What do you call a dead guy by a doorway….Matt
What do you call a dead guy floating on the water....Bob
What do you call a dead guy being thrown from a train....Chuck
What do you call a dead guy hanging from the wall....Art -
It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .
It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins
He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"
I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"
"what do you mean?" he said
"well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"
"sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"
I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe
I said "what the hell happened to you?"
He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."
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@Geo:
It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .
It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins
He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"
I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"
"what do you mean?" he said
"well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"
"sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"
I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe
I said "what the hell happened to you?"
He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."
