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That's Jokes

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  • S
    Seul
    Joined: 24 Nov 2009

    Best one here - although it makes me wanna punch items (walls, fridges, tanks,…).

    last edited by 20 Dec 2010, 18:49 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • C
      cowsareforeating
      Joined: 10 Dec 2009

      yeah you and me both…

      last edited by 20 Dec 2010, 21:23 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • K
        Katsushin
        Joined: 9 May 2010

        Not a joke per se, but comedic none the less…
        (Yes they're real)

        last edited by 3 Jan 2011, 00:44 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • G
          Geo
          Joined: 29 Sept 2010

          Piece of string goes into a bar, orders a beer and the barman says "Sorry, but read the notice - we don't serve string here. I need to ask you to leave" The string protests, but the barman just points to the door.

          Next day the piece of string thinks "I'll get served this time" - and puts on a pair of dark glasses and heads back into the bar.

          Straight away the barman says "You can't fool me, you're that piece of string I threw out yesterday - so GO!"

          The string is now really mad at not getting served so he goes outside, throws away the glasses, loops himself into a loop, ruffles his top end and goes straight back into the bar and orders a beer.

          The barman says "Do you think I'm crazy? You're that piece of string that had the dark glasses aren't you?" and the string says "No, I'm afraid not . . ."

          Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

          last edited by 3 Jan 2011, 01:51 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • C
            caseywisenbaker
            Joined: 31 Oct 2010

            hahahahah a frayed knot!

            last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 01:23 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • G
              Geo
              Joined: 29 Sept 2010

              😉

              Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

              last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:37 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • G
                Geo
                Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                or how about:

                the missus and me were discussing our sex life and I said to her "truthfully - how often do you enjoy sex?"

                she said "well I'm sorry to say I like it infrequently"

                I thought for a second and asked "Is that one word or two?"

                Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:42 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • B
                  Beatle
                  Joined: 8 Dec 2009

                  lol..that was actually funny…

                  We can do anything

                  http://bybeatle.com

                  last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:46 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • G
                    Geo
                    Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                    whadayamean "actually"!!!  😉

                    Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                    last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:48 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • B
                      Beatle
                      Joined: 8 Dec 2009

                      yeah, ur right. really funny

                      We can do anything

                      http://bybeatle.com

                      last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:59 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • R
                        RichValentine
                        Joined: 3 Jan 2011

                        Thought this would be ideal for this time of year 😛

                        last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 00:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • H
                          hectic
                          Joined: 24 Sept 2009

                          Nice, like that sketch.

                          I just googled "world's best joke", apparently it is this:

                          Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

                          last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 14:52 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • H
                            hectic
                            Joined: 24 Sept 2009

                            This is a good Russian joke that I like (you can substitute any names you like of course):

                            "An intelligence test was conducted among the OMON (Russian Special forces) involving various sized round holes and square pegs. The conclusion states that the OMON can be divided into two groups: very dumb and VERY strong…"

                            last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 14:55 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • C
                              Chris
                              Raw and Unwashed
                              Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                              One of my favorites is truly horrible:

                              Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?

                              Because he was dead.

                              As I said, truly horrible.

                              last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 20:36 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • G
                                Geo
                                Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                just b'cos i'm heading out there - i was told most of the middle east don't watch the flintstones . . . but apparantly adu dhabi dooo . . .

                                Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                last edited by 8 Feb 2011, 12:19 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • S
                                  Seul
                                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                  Hahah that's deliciously silly!..

                                  last edited by 8 Feb 2011, 17:52 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • L
                                    Loveyuer
                                    Joined: 28 Jan 2011

                                    Really funny, but where you find the jokes, on the google

                                    Yesterday is the deadline of all complaints
                                    http://www.ledstripsuppliers.com/
                                    Professional LED strip supplier for you , contact me on facebook
                                    Michael Lv

                                    last edited by 11 Feb 2011, 09:14 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • G
                                      Geo
                                      Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                      i think some of these jokes could have been told more than 15 years ago . . . or at least 1 B.G. (in the modern calendar)

                                      Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                      last edited by 11 Feb 2011, 16:45 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • gollottiG
                                        gollotti
                                        Joined: 26 Jan 2011

                                        @Chris:

                                        One of my favorites is truly horrible:

                                        Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?

                                        Because he was dead.

                                        As I said, truly horrible.

                                        This is just as good as my simple favorite joke:

                                        Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead

                                        Then you have the dead guy series:

                                        What do you call a dead guy by a doorway….Matt
                                        What do you call a dead guy floating on the water....Bob
                                        What do you call a dead guy being thrown from a train....Chuck
                                        What do you call a dead guy hanging from the wall....Art

                                        last edited by 2 Nov 2011, 23:26 11 Feb 2011, 23:08 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • GilesG
                                          Giles
                                          IHUK Crew
                                          Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                                          My fave one-liner of all time.

                                          Nancy Reagan has had so many face lifts, she's got a goatie….....

                                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                          last edited by 12 Feb 2011, 14:07 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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