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That's Jokes

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  • B
    Beatle
    Joined: 8 Dec 2009

    lol..that was actually funny…

    We can do anything

    http://bybeatle.com

    last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:46 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • G
      Geo
      Joined: 29 Sept 2010

      whadayamean "actually"!!!  😉

      Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

      last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:48 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • B
        Beatle
        Joined: 8 Dec 2009

        yeah, ur right. really funny

        We can do anything

        http://bybeatle.com

        last edited by 4 Jan 2011, 11:59 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • R
          RichValentine
          Joined: 3 Jan 2011

          Thought this would be ideal for this time of year 😛

          last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 00:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • H
            hectic
            Joined: 24 Sept 2009

            Nice, like that sketch.

            I just googled "world's best joke", apparently it is this:

            Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

            last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 14:52 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • H
              hectic
              Joined: 24 Sept 2009

              This is a good Russian joke that I like (you can substitute any names you like of course):

              "An intelligence test was conducted among the OMON (Russian Special forces) involving various sized round holes and square pegs. The conclusion states that the OMON can be divided into two groups: very dumb and VERY strong…"

              last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 14:55 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • C
                Chris
                Raw and Unwashed
                Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                One of my favorites is truly horrible:

                Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?

                Because he was dead.

                As I said, truly horrible.

                last edited by 5 Jan 2011, 20:36 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • topic:timeago-later,about a month
                • G
                  Geo
                  Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                  just b'cos i'm heading out there - i was told most of the middle east don't watch the flintstones . . . but apparantly adu dhabi dooo . . .

                  Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                  last edited by 8 Feb 2011, 12:19 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • S
                    Seul
                    Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                    Hahah that's deliciously silly!..

                    last edited by 8 Feb 2011, 17:52 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • L
                      Loveyuer
                      Joined: 28 Jan 2011

                      Really funny, but where you find the jokes, on the google

                      Yesterday is the deadline of all complaints
                      http://www.ledstripsuppliers.com/
                      Professional LED strip supplier for you , contact me on facebook
                      Michael Lv

                      last edited by 11 Feb 2011, 09:14 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • G
                        Geo
                        Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                        i think some of these jokes could have been told more than 15 years ago . . . or at least 1 B.G. (in the modern calendar)

                        Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                        last edited by 11 Feb 2011, 16:45 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • G
                          gollotti
                          Joined: 26 Jan 2011

                          @Chris:

                          One of my favorites is truly horrible:

                          Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?

                          Because he was dead.

                          As I said, truly horrible.

                          This is just as good as my simple favorite joke:

                          Why did the Monkey fall out of the tree?  Because it was dead

                          Then you have the dead guy series:

                          What do you call a dead guy by a doorway….Matt
                          What do you call a dead guy floating on the water....Bob
                          What do you call a dead guy being thrown from a train....Chuck
                          What do you call a dead guy hanging from the wall....Art

                          last edited by 2 Nov 2011, 23:26 11 Feb 2011, 23:08 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • G
                            Giles
                            IHUK Crew
                            Joined: 22 Sept 2009

                            My fave one-liner of all time.

                            Nancy Reagan has had so many face lifts, she's got a goatie….....

                            "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                            last edited by 12 Feb 2011, 14:07 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • topic:timeago-later,7 days
                            • G
                              Geo
                              Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                              It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

                              It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

                              He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

                              I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

                              "what do you mean?" he said

                              "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

                              "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

                              I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

                              I said "what the hell happened to you?"

                              He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

                              Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                              last edited by 19 Feb 2011, 15:50 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • S
                                Seul
                                Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                @Geo:

                                It's great how Seul has totally given us all some great fun with him wearing skirts and all - so we should be grateful he's with us at all after recovering from some serious injuries . . .

                                It all happened a while back when I had said to him I had made quite a bit of money selling bear skins

                                He said to me "isn't it a bit dangerous going after the bears?"

                                I said "no, not really - you just hunt in the winter when they are hibernating"

                                "what do you mean?" he said

                                "well, you just follow the tracks into the cave where they're sleeping . . . and bang, no problem"

                                "sounds good" said Seul "plus I need some more IH gear - think I'll give it a try"

                                I heard nothing of him for a few months, then I heard he'd just got out of hospital after being bandaged and plastered from head to toe

                                I said "what the hell happened to you?"

                                He said "well I did what you said . . . followed the tracks into a big dark cave . . . but I've still no idea where that train came from . . ."

                                😉

                                last edited by 19 Feb 2011, 15:57 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • topic:timeago-later,19 days
                                • L
                                  Loveyuer
                                  Joined: 28 Jan 2011

                                  Humerous, quite laughing

                                  Yesterday is the deadline of all complaints
                                  http://www.ledstripsuppliers.com/
                                  Professional LED strip supplier for you , contact me on facebook
                                  Michael Lv

                                  last edited by 11 Mar 2011, 01:53 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • Finn666F
                                    Finn666
                                    Joined: 20 Jan 2011

                                    Too good Geo :D…

                                    last edited by 11 Mar 2011, 09:10 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • D97x7D
                                      D97x7
                                      Joined: 7 Oct 2010

                                      Excellent Geo

                                      last edited by 11 Mar 2011, 09:57 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • topic:timeago-later,about a month
                                      • G
                                        Geo
                                        Joined: 29 Sept 2010

                                        ok so you all know how awesome injunjack is on the WAYCT thread? well just found out he used to run a little restaurant which sadly failed  😞

                                        basically he opened up a place that didn't have a fixed menu as such - the USP was that the customer could order any food combo he or she wanted and if the kitchen couldn't supply it within reasonble cooking time then IJ would pay the customer $100,000 cash

                                        well this little place went great guns for weeks . . . cooking and selling weird and wonderful dishes to all that ordered . . . in fact IJ's fame spread far and wide

                                        then one day nemesis visited the place

                                        IJ came out, complimented Nem on his jawns and took his order:

                                        'elephant's ears on toast' said Nem
                                        'no problem' answered IJ

                                        so off he scurried back into the kitchen . . .

                                        moments later there was the sound of pots crashing off walls and some less than muffled swearing, then IJ came out of the kitchen, straightened himself out and walked up to Nem's table

                                        'i am sorry to say we cannot provide you with your dinner - please take this cash and leave my restaurant' said IJ
                                        Nem laughed  'ha! i knew you wouldn't have elephant's ears!'
                                        IJ  'nope . . . it wasn't that'
                                        Nem  'then why are you paying up?'
                                        IJ  'we ran out of bread . . . .'

                                        Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity

                                        last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 16:51 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • S
                                          Seul
                                          Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                          😉

                                          last edited by 13 Apr 2011, 17:04 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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