That's Jokes
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what do you do when you see a spaceman?
park, man.
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I saw my mate Charlie this morning, he's only got one arm bless him.
I shouted "where you off to Charlie"
He said "I'm going to change a light bulb"
I laughed my head off and said that's gonna be a bit awkward ain't it?
"Not really" he said "I've still got the receipt, you spiteful b******. -
how do you wake up lady gaga?
poker face.
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yeah you and me both…
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Piece of string goes into a bar, orders a beer and the barman says "Sorry, but read the notice - we don't serve string here. I need to ask you to leave" The string protests, but the barman just points to the door.
Next day the piece of string thinks "I'll get served this time" - and puts on a pair of dark glasses and heads back into the bar.
Straight away the barman says "You can't fool me, you're that piece of string I threw out yesterday - so GO!"
The string is now really mad at not getting served so he goes outside, throws away the glasses, loops himself into a loop, ruffles his top end and goes straight back into the bar and orders a beer.
The barman says "Do you think I'm crazy? You're that piece of string that had the dark glasses aren't you?" and the string says "No, I'm afraid not . . ."
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hahahahah a frayed knot!
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Thought this would be ideal for this time of year
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Nice, like that sketch.
I just googled "world's best joke", apparently it is this:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
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This is a good Russian joke that I like (you can substitute any names you like of course):
"An intelligence test was conducted among the OMON (Russian Special forces) involving various sized round holes and square pegs. The conclusion states that the OMON can be divided into two groups: very dumb and VERY strong…"
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One of my favorites is truly horrible:
Why did the Indian chief get buried on the side of the hill?
Because he was dead.
As I said, truly horrible.
