That's Jokes

[Megatron1505]

Brilliant and stolen for Facebook.

[Dirty Denim]

WHAT IF MEN MADE THE RULES FOR RELATIONSHIPS???

Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

• If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

• If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

• Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

• Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

• Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived

• You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

• Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

• Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

• When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary

[LandoCal126 0]

[Finn666]

[Finn666]

ctfu…

[Giles]

A conversation with my mother, who is a little confused…

Giles "You do know that when you came out of hospital, we had to get the police searching for you?"
Mum "Did they find me?"

[madmonday]

glad that worked out for the best.

so it seems you get a great deal of your sense of humour from Mum???

[urbanwoodsman]

So Mega/Rocket, Rafa, and Injunjack walk into a Breaking Bad lego set…

[injunjack]

LOL

[Finn666]

funny shit right there Shane

Mega is so fekking on point

[davito]

Thanks for that awesome parody hahaha

[FurattoHeddo]

^Rafa's legs need more tapering though 

[Finn666]

[Graeme]

Alternative futures, or what happened to Hitler when time travellers (amongst other things) tried to change things in Vienna in 1908.

http://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/winter_2007/fiction_missives_from_possible_futures_1_alternate_history_search_results_b

[RocknRoll]

How do you frustrate a midget?

Give him a yo-yo.

[RocknRoll]

Here is another bad one. I like bad jokes.

A man walks into a bar and sees a fat woman dancing on the table.

"Nice legs" he says, glancing in her direction.

"You think so?" the woman asks, looking quite pleased.

"Sure" says the guy, "most tables would have collapsed by now".

[mclaincausey]

"Use your own toothbrush," Sarah bristled.
Jimmy dropped the toothpaste, crestfallen.

Ok I'll show myself out…

[Finn666]

@RocknRoll:

Here is another bad one. I like bad jokes.

A man walks into a bar and sees a fat woman dancing on the table.

"Nice legs" he says, glancing in her direction.

"You think so?" the woman asks, looking quite pleased.

"Sure" says the guy, "most tables would have collapsed by now".

this shit is funny

[Giles]

America are sending out a crack unit to help find the kidnapped school girls in Nigeria.  Britain are sending Stuart Hall, Rolf Harris, Max Clifford and Dave Lee Travis

[Megatron1505]

Bwahahahahahahahaha