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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • CaptainC
      Captain
      Joined:

      The old man is sitting on his porch when he sees this kid walking by, hands full of hot dogs.
      "Hey, kid, where you going?", asked the old man. "Gonna catch me some dogs", answered the kid. Good luck with that, thought the old man and chuckled for himself, but sure enough, a while later, the kid comes back followed by a pack of dogs.

      The next day, the old man is sitting on his his porch when the kid walks by carrying a load of duct tape.
      "Hey kid, what you doing?", asked the old man. "Gonna catch me some ducks", said the kid. This kid is nuts, thought the old man, but to his amazement the kid walks by a while later, a string of ducks at his tail.

      The following day, the old man spots the kid with his arms full of pussywillow.
      "Hey kid, wait for me".

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • L
        LandoCal126 0
        Banned
        Joined:

        Just read…

        http://www.snopes.com/business/deals/hummer.asp

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • FurattoHeddoF
          FurattoHeddo
          Joined:

          @LandoCal126:

          Just read…

          http://www.snopes.com/business/deals/hummer.asp

          Toy Yoda? I'd be pissed too lol

          "Don't ever be sorry"

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • ChrisC
            Chris
            Raw and Unwashed
            Joined:

            That's why radio stations have lawyers- to tell the DJs when their ideas are terrible and potentially expensive.

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • SeulS
              Seul
              Joined:

              An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

              The doorman stops them and says, 'Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.'

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • Megatron1505M
                Megatron1505
                見習いボス
                Joined:

                Brilliant and stolen for Facebook.

                Made in England, clothed in Japan, fed in America and drunk in Belgium !

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • Dirty DenimD
                  Dirty Denim
                  Joined:

                  WHAT IF MEN MADE THE RULES FOR RELATIONSHIPS??? 🙂

                  Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

                  • If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

                  • If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

                  • Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

                  • Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

                  • Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived

                  • You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

                  • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

                  • Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

                  • When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • L
                    LandoCal126 0
                    Banned
                    Joined:

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • Finn666F
                      Finn666
                      Joined:

                      😉

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Finn666F
                        Finn666
                        Joined:

                        ctfu…

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • GilesG
                          Giles
                          IHUK Crew
                          Joined:

                          A conversation with my mother, who is a little confused…

                          Giles "You do know that when you came out of hospital, we had to get the police searching for you?"
                          Mum "Did they find me?"

                          "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • madmondayM
                            madmonday
                            Raw and Unwashed
                            Joined:

                            glad that worked out for the best.

                            so it seems you get a great deal of your sense of humour from Mum???

                            head high, middle finger higher

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • urbanwoodsmanU
                              urbanwoodsman
                              Banned
                              Joined:

                              So Mega/Rocket, Rafa, and Injunjack walk into a Breaking Bad lego set…

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • injunjackI
                                injunjack
                                見習いボス
                                Joined:

                                LOL 🙂

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • Finn666F
                                  Finn666
                                  Joined:

                                  funny shit right there Shane 😃

                                  Mega is so fekking on point 😉

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • D
                                    davito
                                    Joined:

                                    Thanks for that awesome parody hahaha 🙂

                                    Cheers,
                                    David

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • FurattoHeddoF
                                      FurattoHeddo
                                      Joined:

                                      ^Rafa's legs need more tapering though  😉

                                      "Don't ever be sorry"

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • Finn666F
                                        Finn666
                                        Joined:

                                        😉

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • GraemeG
                                          Graeme
                                          啓蒙家
                                          Joined:

                                          Alternative futures, or what happened to Hitler when time travellers (amongst other things) tried to change things in Vienna in 1908.

                                          http://subterraneanpress.com/magazine/winter_2007/fiction_missives_from_possible_futures_1_alternate_history_search_results_b

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • RocknRollR
                                            RocknRoll
                                            Joined:

                                            How do you frustrate a midget?

                                            Give him a yo-yo.

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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