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Iron Heart Forum

Discover our "What Is?" section to learn more about denim!

That's Jokes

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  • M
    Mizmazzle
    見習いボス
    @Jett129
    Joined: 29 Jun 2021

    @Jett129 that sounds amazing, Jett.

    In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

    last edited by 24 Apr 2025, 03:50 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • S
      scooter
      啓蒙家
      Joined: 26 Dec 2015

      Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

      last edited by 28 Apr 2025, 04:12 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
      • G
        Giles
        IHUK Crew
        Joined: 22 Sept 2009

        image.png

        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

        last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 13:08 T 1 Reply Last reply 29 Apr 2025, 16:41 Reply Quote 8
        • T
          tody
          啓蒙家
          @Giles
          Joined: 24 Feb 2021

          @Giles so - what did you find on the other side?

          last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 16:41 B 1 Reply Last reply 29 Apr 2025, 18:44 Reply Quote 1
          • B
            Bridger
            Raw and Unwashed
            @tody
            Joined: 3 Mar 2021

            @tody said in That's Jokes:

            @Giles so - what did you find on the other side?

            Maybe the apostrophe?

            last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 18:44 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
            • M
              Mizmazzle
              見習いボス
              Joined: 29 Jun 2021

              My favorite teacher joke right now...

              If you're American before you go to the bathroom, and you're Chinese after you go to the bathroom....What are you when you're in the bathroom?

              European!!

              In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

              last edited by Mizmazzle 29 Apr 2025, 18:51 B 1 Reply Last reply 29 Apr 2025, 19:08 Reply Quote 1
              • B
                Bridger
                Raw and Unwashed
                @Mizmazzle
                Joined: 3 Mar 2021

                @Mizmazzle said in That's Jokes:

                If you're American before you go to the bathroom, and you're Chinese after you go to the bathroom

                Thought this was going to be about a smartphone parts supplier or an electric car manufacturer 🤔

                last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 19:08 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                • M
                  motojobobo
                  啓蒙家
                  Joined: 22 Aug 2015

                  Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large pack of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

                  What did she think I had? An elephant?? 😳

                  So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, that I was starting the Pedigree Diet again.
                  I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 20 kilos before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

                  I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pedigree nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
                  The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
                  (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)🤓

                  Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.
                  I told her no, I stepped off the pavement to sniff a Labrador's arse and a car hit me.

                  I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack ....because he was laughing so hard.

                  I'm now banned from entering my supermarket!

                  Better watch what you ask retired people.🤪🤪

                  The journey is the objective.

                  last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 19:49 M 1 Reply Last reply 29 Apr 2025, 20:15 Reply Quote 3
                  • M
                    Mizmazzle
                    見習いボス
                    @motojobobo
                    Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                    @motojobobo I pray to god this is a real story that happened to you and not just a hilarious joke!!!

                    In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                    last edited by 29 Apr 2025, 20:15 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • M
                      motojobobo
                      啓蒙家
                      Joined: 22 Aug 2015

                      Sorry to disappoint @Mizmazzle …not clever enough to come up with that one on my own!

                      The journey is the objective.

                      last edited by 30 Apr 2025, 16:06 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • M
                        motojobobo
                        啓蒙家
                        Joined: 22 Aug 2015

                        IMG_0360.png

                        The journey is the objective.

                        last edited by 30 Apr 2025, 16:15 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                        • J
                          Jett129
                          見習いボス
                          Joined: 17 Aug 2011

                          Anyone else watch the Bret Goldstein comedy special on HBO/MAX. I really wanted to like it. I just didn’t find him funny. I was surprised that he was doing stand up,as I had seen some of his earlier work and thought it was a good thing that he got into writing and acting. It was filmed in NJ I guess because a lot of his material is about the US. He got lots of applause every time he mentioned Ted Lasso. If you do watch it wait for after he walks off stage.

                          last edited by 3 May 2025, 11:36 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                          • M
                            Moty
                            Haraki san Student
                            Joined: 5 Feb 2020

                            we lost him.jpg

                            Courage is resistance to fear, it is mastery of fear, not absence of fear

                            last edited by 5 May 2025, 06:05 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • S
                              scooter
                              啓蒙家
                              Joined: 26 Dec 2015

                              Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.

                              last edited by 10 May 2025, 16:50 M 1 Reply Last reply 10 May 2025, 17:22 Reply Quote 1
                              • E
                                endo
                                見習いボス
                                Joined: 29 May 2020

                                hahaha

                                si tacuisses

                                last edited by 10 May 2025, 16:56 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • M
                                  Mizmazzle
                                  見習いボス
                                  @scooter
                                  Joined: 29 Jun 2021

                                  @scooter love Aziz.

                                  In the easy chair with my boots on, melted whiskey in my hand. Could'na been asleep for more than three hours...time to go to work again...

                                  last edited by 10 May 2025, 17:22 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • M
                                    Matt
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                    IMG_0998.jpeg

                                    last edited by 14 May 2025, 23:24 J 1 Reply Last reply 3 Jun 2025, 03:10 Reply Quote 7
                                    • M
                                      Matt
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                      IMG_1009.jpeg

                                      last edited by 18 May 2025, 01:51 T 1 Reply Last reply 18 May 2025, 08:03 Reply Quote 8
                                      • E
                                        endo
                                        見習いボス
                                        Joined: 29 May 2020

                                        I don't get the joke two post above. Is it referring to the Jonestown killings? No problem with that, but what's the joke?

                                        si tacuisses

                                        last edited by 18 May 2025, 06:14 M 1 Reply Last reply 18 May 2025, 15:23 Reply Quote 1
                                        • M
                                          motojobobo
                                          啓蒙家
                                          Joined: 22 Aug 2015

                                          Drinking the KoolAid is my guess.

                                          The journey is the objective.

                                          last edited by 18 May 2025, 07:27 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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