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Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Live Reveal - Thursday 12th of June at 1700BST

Parenting

Hobbies and Pastimes
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  • ?
    A Former User
    Joined:

    There’s no script of being the perfect daddy. But this place here for us IH daddies is a nice one @EdH so thanks for starting this! The‘re are house-rules for us as family and that all starts with respect. Also, they way we see it is that every kid had it’s own mindset and as parents you’ll have to find the right trigger. There is not only 1 option for punishment or for victories.. my eldest daughter had a total other view on things then my youngest one. And part of the fun is that i have to get to know them. If i form them the way i want them to be they never learn to be there selves and as i speak out of experience.. being yourself is the best treasure you’ll can ever find on the roadmap of life. But like @Matt said put 10 fathers in 1 room and you’ll get 11 answers but that’s part of the fun! Sharing is caring

    last edited by 22 May 2023, 20:05 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
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      EdH
      Iron Heart Deity
      Joined: 2 Jan 2022

      ^Exactly why I started this board! Good points both.

      Maybe the emphasis should have been on the teaching of the new skill, rather than the chore. I wasn't thinking everyday housework so much as re-painting the fence or having them help out with some other DIY that needs doing. I know when I was a kid I'd have viewed that as a punishment, but now I'm a homeowner there's all sorts of stupid shit around the house that I wish I knew how to do!

      Take the dive...

      last edited by 22 May 2023, 20:14 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
      • C
        chrisjohnnick
        Iron Heart Deity
        Joined: 7 Jan 2021

        If you just need some time alone, tell your kids that you're in time out and you'll be back in 10 minutes.

        Wants List:
        IHSH-20-Red, XL
        IHSH-208-Indigo Kersey, L-XL
        IHSH-254-Grey Kersey, L-XL
        IHSW-45 Black, M
        IH-526SV 21oz type III, 38 or 40
        IH-777S-SB size 32
        IH-777S-142 size 31 or 32

        last edited by 22 May 2023, 20:25 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
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          goosehd
          Mod Squad
          Joined: 8 Apr 2016

          Even the best we’ll laid plans will fall apart at a moments notice with no chance for a predictable outcome.

          Every action has an equal or opposite reaction.

          There are good, great, and pretty shitty days at being a parent. Take a breath before you lose your temper, walk outside, and reevaluate the circumstances. Most of the time they don’t know what they’ve done and it’s our job to teach them.

          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

          last edited by 22 May 2023, 20:47 G 1 Reply Last reply 22 May 2023, 22:00 Reply Quote 3
          • M
            Matt
            見習いボス
            Joined: 4 Oct 2011

            Good stuff guys. I like @chrisjohnnick ’s timeout strategy. I usually go in time out when I can sense I’m about to lose my shit. If I need to escape I hide in the bathroom with my phone.

            last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:33 G S 2 Replies Last reply 22 May 2023, 21:35 Reply Quote 3
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              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              @Matt
              Joined: 8 Apr 2016

              @Matt I thought that was to make purchases at IH…

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:35 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
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                Matt
                見習いボス
                Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                Well I don’t just sit there twiddling my thumbs…

                last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:36 G 1 Reply Last reply 22 May 2023, 21:37 Reply Quote 1
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                  goosehd
                  Mod Squad
                  @Matt
                  Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                  @Matt You’ll go blind if you twiddle anything else…

                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                  last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:37 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • S
                    SKT
                    見習いボス
                    @Matt
                    Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                    @Matt this is a pro move

                    last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:41 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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                      SKT
                      見習いボス
                      Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                      @EdH Thanks for this thread and already some great stuff here. I’ll put my thinking cap on if I can find it and make an effort to contribute. I can almost remember some good advice. For now I’ll paraphrase Mike Tyson…”everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth.” That’s pretty much been my parenting experience.

                      last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:45 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                      • E
                        EdH
                        Iron Heart Deity
                        Joined: 2 Jan 2022

                        Mrs H read somewhere that they go through a ‘developmental leap’ at around 4 months of age, which involves their circadian rhythm resetting…

                        My evening has involved endlessly rocking the baby to renditions of ‘The Last Shanty’, which is a surprisingly effective lullaby (shame the sleeping afterwards only lasts for 2 minutes at a time).

                        But in my head was Sam L Jackson:

                        Ooop, she’s up again. 🥱

                        Take the dive...

                        last edited by 22 May 2023, 21:58 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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                          goosehd
                          Mod Squad
                          @goosehd
                          Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                          @EdH 🙂

                          @goosehd said in Parenting:

                          Even the best we’ll laid plans will fall apart at a moments notice with no chance for a predictable outcome.

                          "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                          last edited by 22 May 2023, 22:00 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • G
                            goosehd
                            Mod Squad
                            Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                            Probably the best advice I can come up with is to be yourself, carry yourself with dignity and a respect for others, and don’t be an arse (all of the time).

                            Kids learn a lot by watching and want to emulate the ones that they love. Be that person and don’t be afraid to say I am wrong .

                            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                            last edited by 22 May 2023, 22:05 S 1 Reply Last reply 22 May 2023, 22:22 Reply Quote 4
                            • S
                              SKT
                              見習いボス
                              @goosehd
                              Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                              @goosehd Doesn’t get better than this in the parenting advice department. One thing I’ll add is that being a parent is almost as much about you relearning who you are and what you stand for as it is about “raising” the child. The self reflection gets intense…at least it has for me. But like Denis said, the modeling is where it’s at. Which is hilarious because by design they can bring out the worst in you.

                              last edited by 22 May 2023, 22:22 G 1 Reply Last reply 22 May 2023, 22:25 Reply Quote 3
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                                goosehd
                                Mod Squad
                                @SKT
                                Joined: 8 Apr 2016

                                @SKT Complete agreement that the self realization of our own flaws can be intense at times. It’s a battle and I can honestly say that being a parent has made me a better person…(most days)

                                "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                last edited by goosehd 22 May 2023, 22:25 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                • S
                                  SKT
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined: 26 Aug 2019

                                  A better person (most days). About all we can ask for.

                                  last edited by 22 May 2023, 22:29 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                  • M
                                    Matt
                                    見習いボス
                                    Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                    Sleeping is a tough one. I’m not sure how old they should be before you can start sleep training. We had a book we liked. I’ll get the name of it from Katie. It had lots of good stuff that worked for us.

                                    last edited by 22 May 2023, 22:51 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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                                      Matt
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                      The Sleep Easy Solution is what we used. Think she’ll need a little more time, 4 mos is too early for the intense stuff where they cry it out for a couple nights. It was tough but totally worth it. The book should have different strategies for different ages.

                                      last edited by 23 May 2023, 01:11 E 1 Reply Last reply 23 May 2023, 09:22 Reply Quote 1
                                      • C
                                        Craneman
                                        Raw and Unwashed
                                        Joined: 2 Aug 2014

                                        there is no way. hold tight and hang on.
                                        Patience before all else. you're the fucking adult. and humility. there's nothing like a faceful of baby piss to show your place in the order of things

                                        last edited by 23 May 2023, 01:16 M E 2 Replies Last reply 23 May 2023, 02:28 Reply Quote 3
                                        • M
                                          Matt
                                          見習いボス
                                          @Craneman
                                          Joined: 4 Oct 2011

                                          @Craneman said in Parenting:

                                          there is no way.

                                          This is the way.

                                          last edited by 23 May 2023, 02:28 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
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