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    • MattM
      Matt
      見習いボス
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      I have a slightly different opinion on that. We don’t like to associate responsibilities with punitive actions. We try not to have them relate things like homework or folding laundry with punishment because we don’t want to encourage negative connotations with those things. Just my $.02 thigh. Show me ten parents and I’ll show you 30 different parenting strategies. And none of them work. Just buckle up and hang on.

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 5
      • ?
        A Former User
        Joined:

        There’s no script of being the perfect daddy. But this place here for us IH daddies is a nice one @EdH so thanks for starting this! The‘re are house-rules for us as family and that all starts with respect. Also, they way we see it is that every kid had it’s own mindset and as parents you’ll have to find the right trigger. There is not only 1 option for punishment or for victories.. my eldest daughter had a total other view on things then my youngest one. And part of the fun is that i have to get to know them. If i form them the way i want them to be they never learn to be there selves and as i speak out of experience.. being yourself is the best treasure you’ll can ever find on the roadmap of life. But like @Matt said put 10 fathers in 1 room and you’ll get 11 answers but that’s part of the fun! Sharing is caring

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
        • EdHE
          EdH
          Iron Heart Deity
          Joined:

          ^Exactly why I started this board! Good points both.

          Maybe the emphasis should have been on the teaching of the new skill, rather than the chore. I wasn't thinking everyday housework so much as re-painting the fence or having them help out with some other DIY that needs doing. I know when I was a kid I'd have viewed that as a punishment, but now I'm a homeowner there's all sorts of stupid shit around the house that I wish I knew how to do!

          Take the dive...

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
          • chrisjohnnickC
            chrisjohnnick
            Iron Heart Deity
            Joined:

            If you just need some time alone, tell your kids that you're in time out and you'll be back in 10 minutes.

            Wants List:
            IHSH-20-Red, XL
            IHSH-208-Indigo Kersey, L-XL
            IHSH-254-Grey Kersey, L-XL
            IHSW-45 Black, M
            IH-526SV 21oz type III, 38 or 40
            IH-777S-SB size 32
            IH-777S-142 size 31 or 32

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 7
            • goosehdG
              goosehd
              Mod Squad
              Joined:

              Even the best we’ll laid plans will fall apart at a moments notice with no chance for a predictable outcome.

              Every action has an equal or opposite reaction.

              There are good, great, and pretty shitty days at being a parent. Take a breath before you lose your temper, walk outside, and reevaluate the circumstances. Most of the time they don’t know what they’ve done and it’s our job to teach them.

              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

              last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
              • MattM
                Matt
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                Good stuff guys. I like @chrisjohnnick ’s timeout strategy. I usually go in time out when I can sense I’m about to lose my shit. If I need to escape I hide in the bathroom with my phone.

                last edited by goosehdG SKTS 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
                • goosehdG
                  goosehd
                  Mod Squad
                  @Matt
                  Joined:

                  @Matt I thought that was to make purchases at IH…

                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                  • MattM
                    Matt
                    見習いボス
                    Joined:

                    Well I don’t just sit there twiddling my thumbs…

                    last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                    • goosehdG
                      goosehd
                      Mod Squad
                      @Matt
                      Joined:

                      @Matt You’ll go blind if you twiddle anything else…

                      "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 2
                      • SKTS
                        SKT
                        見習いボス
                        @Matt
                        Joined:

                        @Matt this is a pro move

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • SKTS
                          SKT
                          見習いボス
                          Joined:

                          @EdH Thanks for this thread and already some great stuff here. I’ll put my thinking cap on if I can find it and make an effort to contribute. I can almost remember some good advice. For now I’ll paraphrase Mike Tyson…”everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth.” That’s pretty much been my parenting experience.

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                          • EdHE
                            EdH
                            Iron Heart Deity
                            Joined:

                            Mrs H read somewhere that they go through a ‘developmental leap’ at around 4 months of age, which involves their circadian rhythm resetting…

                            My evening has involved endlessly rocking the baby to renditions of ‘The Last Shanty’, which is a surprisingly effective lullaby (shame the sleeping afterwards only lasts for 2 minutes at a time).

                            But in my head was Sam L Jackson:

                            Ooop, she’s up again. 🥱

                            Take the dive...

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                            • goosehdG
                              goosehd
                              Mod Squad
                              @goosehd
                              Joined:

                              @EdH 🙂

                              @goosehd said in Parenting:

                              Even the best we’ll laid plans will fall apart at a moments notice with no chance for a predictable outcome.

                              "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • goosehdG
                                goosehd
                                Mod Squad
                                Joined:

                                Probably the best advice I can come up with is to be yourself, carry yourself with dignity and a respect for others, and don’t be an arse (all of the time).

                                Kids learn a lot by watching and want to emulate the ones that they love. Be that person and don’t be afraid to say I am wrong .

                                "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                last edited by SKTS 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 4
                                • SKTS
                                  SKT
                                  見習いボス
                                  @goosehd
                                  Joined:

                                  @goosehd Doesn’t get better than this in the parenting advice department. One thing I’ll add is that being a parent is almost as much about you relearning who you are and what you stand for as it is about “raising” the child. The self reflection gets intense…at least it has for me. But like Denis said, the modeling is where it’s at. Which is hilarious because by design they can bring out the worst in you.

                                  last edited by goosehdG 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 3
                                  • goosehdG
                                    goosehd
                                    Mod Squad
                                    @SKT
                                    Joined:

                                    @SKT Complete agreement that the self realization of our own flaws can be intense at times. It’s a battle and I can honestly say that being a parent has made me a better person…(most days)

                                    "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                    last edited by goosehd 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                    • SKTS
                                      SKT
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      A better person (most days). About all we can ask for.

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                      • MattM
                                        Matt
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                                        Joined:

                                        Sleeping is a tough one. I’m not sure how old they should be before you can start sleep training. We had a book we liked. I’ll get the name of it from Katie. It had lots of good stuff that worked for us.

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • MattM
                                          Matt
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          The Sleep Easy Solution is what we used. Think she’ll need a little more time, 4 mos is too early for the intense stuff where they cry it out for a couple nights. It was tough but totally worth it. The book should have different strategies for different ages.

                                          last edited by EdHE 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 1
                                          • C
                                            Craneman
                                            Raw and Unwashed
                                            Joined:

                                            there is no way. hold tight and hang on.
                                            Patience before all else. you're the fucking adult. and humility. there's nothing like a faceful of baby piss to show your place in the order of things

                                            last edited by MattM EdHE 2 Replies Last reply Reply Quote 3
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