Random Rants
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@goosehd that sucks, I hope the school deal with it appropriately and that it stops immediately.
My daughter was the target of some pretty insidious bullying by a girl in her class last year when she was 7. The girl in question clearly enjoyed being in charge of her clique. She’d tell lies about my daughter and manipulate the group to exclude her. We could tell my daughter was getting pretty miserable about school, but since it was a slow build kinda bullying, I don’t think my daughter recognised it for what it was. In any case, the school dealt with it incredibly well.
We had to really hammer home to my daughter that no one who is happy with themselves acts the way this girl did. People that are happy spread joy, people that are miserable spread misery. She totally got it and can now see this type of bullying for what it is, and I hope it’ll be less likely to effect her if she experiences it again.
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Thank all of you for the support! Self defence classes are definitely being discussed for both of the girls with the mindset of being able to get out of dangerous situations and when to use that skillset.
Agree about humans and the bullying kids face today. It is scary with the way they use technology to torment their peers and it's no longer just at the school yard. No longer is the home the safe place it used to be and my thoughts are to keep both of the kids away from social platforms for as long as possible. That's a bridge I still have to cross.
I truly feel this kid acting out is due to issues at home. Normal kids would do the "I don't like you, you're not my friend, nobody likes you..." not "I wish you were dead". That alarms me more than anything else.
Her friends stood up for her and when he saw one of them running for the teacher, he immediately stopped because he didn't want to get in trouble. There is some hope there and I hope that it brings his parents into some difficult conversations.
I was a victim of bullying in school because I was always smaller than the other boys and empathetic towards people. They saw it as a sign of weakness where I see it as a sign of strength especially today when I wish more people cared about each other. In some ways I think the bullying I saw in school made me a stronger person today.
Such a difficult concept to work around and I feel for all of you dealing with kids and this topic. It's not ok and it never should be.
"I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)
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@goosehd said in Random Rants:
I was... empathetic towards people. They saw it as a sign of weakness where I see it as a sign of strength especially today when I wish more people cared about each other.
This!
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@goosehd said in Random Rants:
Feck it all, she's only 7.
Time for her first knife, I'd say! Something small but very, very sharp...
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Phone call meeting with the teacher has ended and our concerns are noted. She agrees with our assessment and that the biggest issue is with the words that were used "I wish you were dead". The mother of the child in question doesn't see anything wrong and thinks that things are being blown out of proportion...
His actions have been documented and at this point he hasn't been suspended, which from the sounds of it won't do anything because his mother is dismissive of his actions.
We may escalate this to the principal level to discuss further...
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As a teacher, I work with 10 year olds. I’ve been working in elementary schools with grades 3-5 for 15 years now. Nothing makes me angrier than seeing kids target other kids. I’ve seen and heard all sorts of acts of bullying including horrible name calling, hitting, guns brought to school, and this year had a student brandish a blade and threaten another of my students.
Sometimes I reflect back on the sorts of things we used to say and do to each other when we were kids this age. I recall having a bully continually threaten me in 4th grade until it turned into a fight. My father was big on martial arts and boxing, so I was able to defend myself and that particular incident ended there. As I grew older I had to defend myself many times through high school. I’m very grateful to my dad for teaching me those skills, even though I hate fighting.
In schools, kids are coming from all sorts of backgrounds. As teachers we teach our students about bullying and empathy. As important as these skills are, they can take many years for kids to learn, and a lifetime for others. We practice restorative justice and allow the kids the opportunity to talk after these incidents and try and understand how their actions impact others. As has been noted in previous posts, many kids are coming from backgrounds where they are not cared for or given the basic emotional supports necessity to develop empathy. This is the hardest part of working with kids. First hand interaction with the children of societies dark side.
As a teacher, I try and use these hard life lessons as an opportunity to teach empathy but also how to stand up for oneself. It’s so rare that a kid doesn’t experience some sort of conflict. A certain amount is healthy and is an opportunity to learn from.
Dennis your daughter is fortunate to have a loving home and a protective dad that will teach her how to handle these challenges and to defend herself If necessary. Placing hands on another kid is never ok. But we know it happens. I think your approach to teaching self defense is a sound one. Also, learning from these opportunities as a way to understand the needs of less fortunate kids. Because sadly, this is the world we live in. -
@goosehd looks like you got to the root of the problem. If mom doesn’t think the language and behaviour was unacceptable, then it makes you wonder about the home environment.
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@goosehd it sucks man.. for sure this can’t be allowed.. as father of 2 girls i can only imagine how my reaction would be. Also thanks for sharing some of your history about they were bullying you, shows some power imo. In the end a parent would do everything to protect it’s child and it seems like the mother is ‘protecting’ by saying things are taken out of proportion wich is clearly not the case. I would def take it to a higher principal. Of it’s not only for your kiddo then maybe for a next one. Everyone has another look on ‘normal’ but violent behavior or excessive use of cruel language isn’t normal. I hope things will work out in the end! Have a good weekend for you and your family.
