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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

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    • J
      Jett129
      見習いボス
      Joined:

      This is really funny. Worth staying with it. 

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • goosehdG
        goosehd
        Mod Squad
        Joined:

        Paul and his wife were sitting out on the patio one Sunday morning, when Paul suddenly blurted out, "If I die first, I want you to promise that you'll sell all my stuff immediately."

        "Now why in the world would you want me to do something like that?" his wife asked.

        "Got to thinking about, and thought that if you remarry, I don't want some other asshole using my stuff."

        His wife looked at him and said, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart, there's no way I'm going to marry another asshole."

        "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • Filthy2123ozjunkieF
          Filthy2123ozjunkie
          見習いボスー
          Joined:

          I was checking out of the motel in Brawley 2 days ago with my buddy Lenny. We were walking to the office to turn in our keys and get receipts. I spotted this lady with a black lab that was going apeshit because I was talking cutesy to it… she said I could pet the dog and I was for a while.

          Then her husband came out of their room and said, "hey, did you remember to grab my ankle bracelet!?"

          I looked at Lenny and we both laughed out loud, and I laughed a lot more. Understandably, the woman was highly upset we were laughing. But the more I felt like I shouldn't laugh I laughed even more. 😂

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • scarfmaceS
            scarfmace
            Haraki san Expert
            Joined:

            A man enters the doctors office asking the doctor what he can do to make sure he lives as long as possible.
            The doctor agrees and starts off with: No smoking.
            The man eagerly reacts that he hasn’t even touched a cigarette in his life.

            "Not too much alcohol", the doctor continues.

            "Never even had a sip in my life doctor, I will never let it enter my body, no sir."

            Ok then, the doc says and continues with: “be careful with fatty foods and red meat.”
            The man gets all wound up and explains  he has been vegan most his life and eating animals is murder.

            The doctor scratches his head, thinks for a second and finally says: "you know, changing sexual partners to often can have a negative effect on your life expectancy."

            And yet again, the man tells the doctor that he has never been in any form of a sexual relationship, its better this way, he says, other people just hold me back.

            The doctor takes of his glasses, and tells the man he should life a long and healthy life if he continues down his current path. However, he says: “just before you go, can I ask you something?”

            "Yes doctor", the man replies.

            The doc sais: “Why in the world would you want to live so long?”

            "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • vaquero357V
              vaquero357
              Banned
              Joined:

              …sent this picture to a friend of mine. 🙂

              …almost immediately he sent back 'war pigs'. 😃 😃

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • GilesG
                Giles
                IHUK Crew
                Joined:

                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • goosehdG
                  goosehd
                  Mod Squad
                  Joined:

                  😃 😃

                  "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • WlemonW
                    Wlemon
                    Haraki san Expert
                    Joined:

                    Oh, man. That's good, @Giles.

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • KasiK
                      Kasi
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      Ha ha ha

                      Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                      The world's insane
                      While you drink champagne
                      And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • KasiK
                        Kasi
                        見習いボス
                        Joined:

                        The world's insane
                        While you drink champagne
                        And I'm livin' in black rain 4Q 🖕

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • RoxRocks86R
                          RoxRocks86
                          Raw and Unwashed
                          Joined:

                          😃

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Filthy2123ozjunkieF
                            Filthy2123ozjunkie
                            見習いボスー
                            Joined:

                            I was thinking about Giles' cat and was reminded of this. The thing about Giles' cat is: you just want to love him.

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • J
                              Jett129
                              見習いボス
                              Joined:

                              Really good one,made me laugh a couple of times. @Filthy

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • Filthy2123ozjunkieF
                                Filthy2123ozjunkie
                                見習いボスー
                                Joined:

                                😃 😃 😉

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • J
                                  Jett129
                                  見習いボス
                                  Joined:

                                  Thought this was brilliant. 

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • goosehdG
                                    goosehd
                                    Mod Squad
                                    Joined:

                                    Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect.

                                    P N E S I

                                    People who wrote SPINE became doctors…

                                    The rest are mainly one track mind IH members.

                                    "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • endoE
                                      endo
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      😃 😃 😃    and no, despite being a doc I seem to be one track minded

                                      si tacuisses

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • GilesG
                                        Giles
                                        IHUK Crew
                                        Joined:

                                        So, @endo your forum name more appropriately would be urol…

                                        "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • endoE
                                          endo
                                          見習いボス
                                          Joined:

                                          😉 neurol, actually

                                          si tacuisses

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • goosehdG
                                            goosehd
                                            Mod Squad
                                            Joined:

                                            @endo

                                            "I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing, we will do what is best for us and our customers" - Giles P. :)

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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