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    Iron Heart Fall/Winter 2025 Collection Preview - Now Live

    That's Jokes

    General Chat
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    • L
      LandoCal126 0
      Banned
      Joined:

      Pure comedy right here.

      @ALEX1976:

      lesson 1…i never make jokes;-)

      Thank you Alex for making my day!

      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • Finn666F
        Finn666
        Joined:

        😃 …

        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • H
          Heavy Duty
          Joined:

          Cowboy: "That your dog?"

          Indian: "Yep."

          Cowboy: "Mind if I speak to him?"

          Indian: "Dog no talk."

          Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

          Dog: "Doin' all right."

          Indian: (Look of shock!)

          Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian…)

          Dog: "Yep."

          Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

          Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes
          me to the lake once a week to play."

          Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

          Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

          Indian: "Horse no talk."

          Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

          Horse: "Cool."

          Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

          Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian...)

          Horse: "Yep."

          Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

          Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down
          often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."

          Indian: (Look of total amazement)

          Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

          Indian: "Sheep lie."

          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • CaptainC
            Captain
            Joined:

            The old man is sitting on his porch when he sees this kid walking by, hands full of hot dogs.
            "Hey, kid, where you going?", asked the old man. "Gonna catch me some dogs", answered the kid. Good luck with that, thought the old man and chuckled for himself, but sure enough, a while later, the kid comes back followed by a pack of dogs.

            The next day, the old man is sitting on his his porch when the kid walks by carrying a load of duct tape.
            "Hey kid, what you doing?", asked the old man. "Gonna catch me some ducks", said the kid. This kid is nuts, thought the old man, but to his amazement the kid walks by a while later, a string of ducks at his tail.

            The following day, the old man spots the kid with his arms full of pussywillow.
            "Hey kid, wait for me".

            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • L
              LandoCal126 0
              Banned
              Joined:

              Just read…

              http://www.snopes.com/business/deals/hummer.asp

              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • FurattoHeddoF
                FurattoHeddo
                Joined:

                @LandoCal126:

                Just read…

                http://www.snopes.com/business/deals/hummer.asp

                Toy Yoda? I'd be pissed too lol

                "Don't ever be sorry"

                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • ChrisC
                  Chris
                  Raw and Unwashed
                  Joined:

                  That's why radio stations have lawyers- to tell the DJs when their ideas are terrible and potentially expensive.

                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • SeulS
                    Seul
                    Joined:

                    An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Jap, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub.

                    The doorman stops them and says, 'Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.'

                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • Megatron1505M
                      Megatron1505
                      見習いボス
                      Joined:

                      Brilliant and stolen for Facebook.

                      Made in England, clothed in Japan, fed in America and drunk in Belgium !

                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • Dirty DenimD
                        Dirty Denim
                        Joined:

                        WHAT IF MEN MADE THE RULES FOR RELATIONSHIPS??? 🙂

                        Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.

                        • If you don't want to dress like Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

                        • If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

                        • Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are?

                        • Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

                        • Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived

                        • You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

                        • Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

                        • Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

                        • When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary

                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • L
                          LandoCal126 0
                          Banned
                          Joined:

                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • Finn666F
                            Finn666
                            Joined:

                            😉

                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • Finn666F
                              Finn666
                              Joined:

                              ctfu…

                              last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • GilesG
                                Giles
                                IHUK Crew
                                Joined:

                                A conversation with my mother, who is a little confused…

                                Giles "You do know that when you came out of hospital, we had to get the police searching for you?"
                                Mum "Did they find me?"

                                "OK face up to it - you're useless but generally pretty honest and straightforward . . . it's a rare combination of qualities that I have come to admire in you" - Geo 2011

                                last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • madmondayM
                                  madmonday
                                  Raw and Unwashed
                                  Joined:

                                  glad that worked out for the best.

                                  so it seems you get a great deal of your sense of humour from Mum???

                                  head high, middle finger higher

                                  last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • urbanwoodsmanU
                                    urbanwoodsman
                                    Banned
                                    Joined:

                                    So Mega/Rocket, Rafa, and Injunjack walk into a Breaking Bad lego set…

                                    last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • injunjackI
                                      injunjack
                                      見習いボス
                                      Joined:

                                      LOL 🙂

                                      last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • Finn666F
                                        Finn666
                                        Joined:

                                        funny shit right there Shane 😃

                                        Mega is so fekking on point 😉

                                        last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • D
                                          davito
                                          Joined:

                                          Thanks for that awesome parody hahaha 🙂

                                          Cheers,
                                          David

                                          last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                          • FurattoHeddoF
                                            FurattoHeddo
                                            Joined:

                                            ^Rafa's legs need more tapering though  😉

                                            "Don't ever be sorry"

                                            last edited by 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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