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  • M
    mclaincausey
    見習いボス
    Joined: 12 Apr 2013

    @Filthy:

    Loneliness is more dangerous than smoking or cardiovascular disease, according to former US Surgeon General:

    https://www.cbs.com/shows/cbs_this_morning/video/MHysZ87Ob9qD_pXvkMEEknY_kYCLHky5/former-surgeon-general-on-how-loneliness-could-reduce-lifespan/

    Pretty interesting. I'm doomed.  😃

    Growing research indicates that nonmedical factors such as "social isolation" constitute anywhere from 60-80% of healthcare outcomes. Your ZIP code is more impactful to your health than your genetic code. Healthcare is in the midst of adapting to this reality, and there will need to be more social interventions to address loneliness, hunger, housing issues, addiction, interpersonal violence, and other risk factors that have traditionally fallen outside of healthcare.

    This is a global trend, but in the US, where healthcare spending is approaching 20% of our GDP and the most expensive patients typically have one or more social risk factors, it is absolutely necessary for a sustainable for-profit system.

    Think it, be it.

    last edited by 17 Dec 2018, 23:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
    • F
      Filthy2123ozjunkie
      見習いボスー
      Joined: 21 Jan 2013

      That's kind of a vicious cycle because when I read about it, it just makes me want to withdrawal even more.

      last edited by 17 Dec 2018, 23:42 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • M
        mclaincausey
        見習いボス
        Joined: 12 Apr 2013

        Yeah @Filthy , so many destructive patterns are that way, and unfortunately I can say that from firsthand experience. I hope you find some local folks you like to be around. I am an introvert with a low tolerance for human foibles, so it takes energy for me to hang–but luckily I enjoy the folks I hang with when I occasion to hang with em, and that makes a huge difference. So does my dog! And so does art (ironically, often depressing music).

        Think it, be it.

        last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 00:03 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • F
          Filthy2123ozjunkie
          見習いボスー
          Joined: 21 Jan 2013

          Thanks for the meaningful responses. I have a hard time articulating what I am thinking sometimes so this is why I am so brief. Yes, I need to try and figure something out. The doctor in that video suggests forcing yourself to go out and at least go to places you enjoy. Maybe I will give that a shot? Thanks a lot for taking the time to talk to me, because it means a lot. I really appreciate all of the people I get to talk to here. Cheers @mclaincausey

          last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 00:09 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • S
            sabergirl
            見習いボス
            Joined: 4 Oct 2013

            I have always been a solitary sort, @Filthy, so I definitely identify.  Most of the things I like to do, like reading, riding my bike, hiking, crafting, are by nature lonely activities.  I find that I feel a lot less lonely going about my hermetic existence in public–when I go to the café or the bar to read, for example.  I also try to walk at the public park where I'm around other humans.  It helps that I have a pretty social job.  Before I had a partner I was often very lonely, and felt a little isolated at times--but it was definitely a big help to be out among people, so I tried not to just nest in my house every day and night, and I think it made a difference.

            I've also often found that it relieves a bit of loneliness to talk to people online!  So here we are.  😃

            last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 00:34 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • F
              Filthy2123ozjunkie
              見習いボスー
              Joined: 21 Jan 2013

              @sabergirl hmm that would be cool to find a bar I could read a book at. Most of the places I go to are pretty low brow. I do spend a lot of time looking at pictures of clothing and cats when I go to the bar though. I am afraid people think I am looking at Facebook just like everyone else. I tried checking out meetup but I didn't find any groups that were similar to my interests. Plus I have to leave home for work all the time, so it is hard to maintain even the most casual of friendships.

              last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 00:42 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • C
                Chris
                Raw and Unwashed
                Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                My wife tells me that the research seems to to indicate that online interaction doesn't take the place of human interaction.  And that interaction with your spouse isn't enough- apparently, we need honest to god, real world friends, too.

                So I guess I'm doomed to an early death, too, filthy…

                last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 02:51 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                • G
                  gaseousclay
                  Joined: 4 Nov 2016

                  @Chris:

                  So I guess I'm doomed to an early death, too, filthy…

                  Me three

                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

                  WTB:
                  IHSH-129 size L (blue)
                  IHSH-19

                  last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 10:06 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • U
                    UnTucked
                    Joined: 16 Nov 2014

                    @Chris:

                    ….. research seems to to indicate that online interaction doesn't take the place of human interaction.  And that interaction with your spouse isn't enough- apparently, we need honest to god, real world friends, too.

                    So I guess I'm doomed to an early death, too, filthy...

                    Sounds like I should be dying any day now… Outside of conversation with my ex-wife and children, I routinely go an entire week without saying more than a simple  "Hello" to anyone except my wife, and that's including work as well......

                    In search of:
                    IHV-04, med.
                    IHSH-185, large
                    IHSH-186, large (khaki, and green)

                    last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 10:55 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • C
                      Crit_Obs
                      Joined: 20 Oct 2017

                      Hello HA (Hermites Anonymous), I'm a new member and I have no meaningful human interaction with anyone except my wife and if you ask her even that is debatable. ::) I'm a student so lots of forced interaction with all sorts of folks but that's something I'd rather not. I don't know if I'm lonely but people being good friends with people seems like a bit of an alien concept.

                      Having said that, I'd have no hard objections to friending people I genuinely like; I guess it's just a case of such people being hard to come by.

                      Either that or it's me who is a c*nt. ::)

                      last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 11:36 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                      • D
                        DougNg
                        Joined: 24 Sept 2009

                        The video doesn't show but I can attest that since I started to work alone:

                        1. my blood pressure is finally down to a normal level
                        2. I've stopped grinding my teeth when I sleep
                        3. my overall mood has improved
                        4. my kitchen appliances have remained dent free

                        So whatever Dr. Murthy had to say, I'm pretty much going to ignore it.

                        I know violence is not the answer, I got it wrong on purpose

                        last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 13:24 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                        • C
                          Chris
                          Raw and Unwashed
                          Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                          @UnTucked:

                          I routinely go an entire week without saying more than a simple  "Hello" to anyone except my wife, and that's including work as well…...

                          I can legitimately go days without even seeing a co-worker, much less speaking to one.

                          last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 13:26 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                          • U
                            UnTucked
                            Joined: 16 Nov 2014

                            @Chris:

                            @UnTucked:

                            I routinely go an entire week without saying more than a simple  "Hello" to anyone except my wife, and that's including work as well…...

                            I can legitimately go days without even seeing a co-worker, much less speaking to one.

                            Whoa… that might be a bit much for me.

                            I prefer my "alone" in the general vicinity of other humans, I just don't want to have to interact with those other humans.

                            Example:
                            We've stopped going to our favorite Thai restaurant because we became regulars, so the owner and his wife always want to chat with us for like 5mins before taking our order… As delicious as the food is, it's still not worth those 5 awkward minutes to me.

                            In search of:
                            IHV-04, med.
                            IHSH-185, large
                            IHSH-186, large (khaki, and green)

                            last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 13:38 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                            • S
                              Seul
                              Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                              @UnTucked:

                              As delicious as the food is, it's still not worth those 5 awkward minutes to me.

                              That's just common sense.

                              last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 14:11 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                              • M
                                Matty123
                                Raw and Unwashed
                                Joined: 4 Apr 2017

                                This conversation actually proves the  possible truth in @mclaincausey post. A group of self proclaimed reclusiive people talking to each other about their not needing or wanting to talk to people. It’s ok guys. You  all want and need love and I love you all 🥰😍😘

                                Maybe so. Maybe not

                                last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 14:30 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                • S
                                  Seul
                                  Joined: 24 Nov 2009

                                  Piss off.

                                  last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 14:49 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                  • U
                                    UnTucked
                                    Joined: 16 Nov 2014

                                    @Seul:

                                    @UnTucked:

                                    As delicious as the food is, it's still not worth those 5 awkward minutes to me.

                                    That's just common sense.

                                    I forgot to mention the 25% "You guys come here all the time" discount…..

                                    But thanks for making me feel less dick-ish, lol

                                    In search of:
                                    IHV-04, med.
                                    IHSH-185, large
                                    IHSH-186, large (khaki, and green)

                                    last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 14:51 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                    • M
                                      Matty123
                                      Raw and Unwashed
                                      Joined: 4 Apr 2017

                                      @Seul:

                                      Piss off.

                                      The truth is often met with anger. You can’t stop this love fest.

                                      Maybe so. Maybe not

                                      last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 15:10 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                      • L
                                        louisbosco
                                        啓蒙家
                                        Joined: 21 Feb 2013

                                        and then there's me, who can't seem to shut the fuck up ever since i learnt to speak…

                                        my school report cards always seem to say

                                        "Louis is a great student. He just needs to talk less and listen more" or "paying more attention in class would make him excel further" or "good student but needs to learn to know the right time to speak"

                                        "Loyalty is a two way street. If i'm asking for it from you, then you're getting it from me."

                                        • Harvey Specter
                                        last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 15:20 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                                        • C
                                          Chris
                                          Raw and Unwashed
                                          Joined: 28 Jun 2010

                                          @Seul:

                                          @UnTucked:

                                          As delicious as the food is, it's still not worth those 5 awkward minutes to me.

                                          That's just common sense.

                                          Agreed.

                                          And I've done the same thing at a couple of area restaurants and the convenience store by my office.

                                          last edited by 18 Dec 2018, 16:03 1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
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