That's Jokes

Jett129

I'm so not a fan of comedians whose entire set is crowd work. Probably why I like her so much.

Jett129

A guy finds a lamp,rubs it and a Genie pops out and says you have 2 wishes. He says I thought it was 3 wishes,The Genie says check your pants. Whoa it’s huge! The Genie says I’ve been doing this a long time.

scooter

Jett129

A woman calls up the newspaper and says I’d like to place an obituary. What would you like it to say he asks? “Sam’s Dead” she says. Well,Miss we have a 5 word minimum for obituaries.she says OK…Buick For Sale!

Giles

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cdxjw0v4kn2o

scooter

Jett129

A woman brings her bird to the Vet. He listens to the birds chest and says..."Lady your bird's dead! She replies...How can you be so sure you didn't do any tests?" He goes and gets a Labrador. The dog sniffs the bird up and down,shakes his head and walks out. He gets a cat,Fluffy sniffs the bird up and down,Meows and walks out. The Vet goes to the computer, prints out a bill and hands it to her. She says $250 to tell me my bird's DEAD!!! To which he replies..."Lady it was gonna be $20 when you came in here but...You got the Cat scan and you got the Lab report. I can work clean. This joke guaranteed Not to get you cancelled.