That's Jokes

[alcatraz]

The Grim Reaper came for me last night and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner.

Talk about Dyson with death!

[baracuta61]

dear deidre,
the other day i looked out of my bedroom window and saw my neighbour's 18 year old daughter sunbathing topless in their garden. i had been masturbating vigorously for about 5 minutes when i turned round and saw my wife standing in the doorway  watching me.

is she a pervert?

[baracuta61]

my friend asked "whats your ringtone?"
i said "i'm not sure, it's difficult to see, but i would guess  light brown"

[Geo]

Seul said he bought a pair of Meatloaf boxer shorts the other day

Apparently there's a print on the front that says 'I will do anything for love'

. . . and a print on the back saying 'but I won't do that' . . .

[Beatle]

lol….

[jacoavlu]

[rocket]

[babyknight]

LOL…...........

[Seul]

@Geo:

Seul said he bought a pair of Meatloaf boxer shorts the other day

Apparently there's a print on the front that says 'I will do anything for love'

. . . and a print on the back saying 'but I won't do that' . . .

Geo had his customised: on the back his reads "Cheeky"…

[Giles]

Oh, I thought it said "One Way Street"

[Seul]

" Haggis: 5' "

[Geo]

Well you can say what you want, but I'm certainly not going to try taking the piss out of your pants . . .

[alcatraz]

I've just seen a poor old lady trip over on the pavement.

Well I assume she is poor - she only had 40p in her purse!

When I was kid all the other kids would cover me in cream and strawberries then stab me with forks.

Life was tough in the gateau!

[Seul]

Play on French words, only one thing can make it worse:

Toilethumour!..

[GimpKid]

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today. It's pretty messed up and hilarious at the same time.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

[elclintor]

Hahaha love it!

[madmonday]

i'm too low brow to get it 

[hectic]

"Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world where what lies ahead is vague and uncertain.

Doctor says 'Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.'

Man bursts into tears. Says 'But, doctor…I am Pagliacci.

'Everybody laugh.'

[hectic]

@GimpKid:

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today. It's pretty messed up and hilarious at the same time.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

anti-joke lol

[GimpKid]

@hectic:

@GimpKid:

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook today. It's pretty messed up and hilarious at the same time.

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

anti-joke lol

Non-sequitur humor FTW.